In Too Deep - Ch 21-22

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Chapter Twenty-One

Arriving home, Dana's mind was whirling with emotions, but the most prominent was a feeling of guilt. She had always been painfully honest with Sloan, and they had shared vows of both honesty, and chastity. Dana had never before felt a desire to break those vows, but she rationalized her feelings by convincing herself that everything was for Sloan. Sure, it was kind of a way for her to indulge her own dark desires, but the ultimate goal was a pure one, wasn't it? This question and others haunted the young wife as she arrived at their tiny home.

As soon as Dana entered the house, she felt the ambiance change. The lights were dimmed and candles glowed on the table. The aromatic smells from the kitchen wafted around the room as seductively as incense. She heard the bedroom door open and saw a ravishing blonde beauty in a simple A-line dress gazing at her.

"Welcome home, my love," Sloan spoke in a soft husky contralto.

"My God, Sloan....I never expected..."

Sloan crossed to his wife and hesitated, allowing her a few moments to gauge the full effect. Her brow knitted as though she were a puppy waiting to see if she would be praised or remonstrated.

"I should have warned you, but I decided if we were going to truly do this, it would take a full-time commitment. Are you really sure you are okay with this?"

Dana stepped up to her feminized husband and stood on tiptoes to plant a soft kiss on his painted lips. Sloan immediately wrapped his arms around his wife as the kiss deepened.

Sloan's voice was timid and shy, "I made dinner"

"I see that, thank you"

They ate quietly, each absorbed with their own thoughts, making harmless comments about mundane things. Sloan could not help but notice the creased brow that told him Dana was struggling with an issue. Several times he almost broached the subject but was afraid of how she might respond to her husband's new look.

For her part, Dana was struggling with what she should share about her day. She also noticed that Sloan seemed to be worried about something. Could it be possible that he already knew more than he was telling? Perhaps the Sharp's were playing some bizarre game on both of them. Sloan was usually pretty wired into the happenings here in Tinsel Town. Maybe he already suspected his wife had broken the vows that bound them.

As the meal was completed, an uncomfortable silence descended on the young couple. Each trying to find a word, a phrase, anything that would get them back on track and relieve the pressure. It was Dana who finally broke the silence.

"Something happened today...at the studio, I mean....something that concerns us both."

Sloan's eyes locked onto her. He looked so vulnerable and so worried. She just wanted to wrap her arms around him and ease that look of pain. She steeled herself to continue.

"I had lunch with Matt and Dana Taylor. They made me a tentative offer. One that could have a huge impact on us."

She watched Sloan, his eyes wide and glistening. She felt her own eyes moisten as she swallowed back the lie of omission that she was about to make.

"Matt Sharp is looking for a new Assistant Director/Personal Assistant. His current PA, Gabriel Vargas will be working to bring me up to speed over the next few weeks. Matt suggested that we see where we are...how well we work together... after the end of the month and then make a permanent decision about my taking it on full-time."

Sloan's face lit up in a huge smile.

"Baby, I'm so happy for you!!!"

He hurried around the table and bent to kiss her.

"You will be an amazing director. I know you can do this. It's so awesome."

She allowed herself to be folded into the embrace. Shuddering as she pulled herself together for the next part....the part that she dreaded.

"Uhm....baby....there is....ummm...something else."

Sloan pulled back to look at her face. His eyes shining with love and adoration. He waited with an expression of complete trust. She wondered if this was the same expression a cow had as it waited for the hammer to end its life and turn it into hamburger.

"After the meeting, Danielle...ummm...suggested...that....well she really didn't suggest as much as insist...that...well....she wants you to take on a job as her own PA."

Sloan's eyes looked confused.

"A job? Why would she want me as a PA? I don't know a thing about it."

"She thinks that I will be too busy to train....I mean to teach you all you need to know to convince Matt that you're a woman....at his party I mean."

"You're kidding."

"She made me promise to bring you to her office for an interview in the morning. She said that my job is in no way contingent on your passing the interview, but she did make a point of telling me that if you do not pass it, they might look elsewhere to fill the role. She also pointed out that if that happened, you would have to convince her husband without any help from her....and very little help from me, as I will be working long hours with Matt."

Dana held her breath, waiting to see how Sloan would react to this bombshell. She was surprised when he took on a thoughtful expression, as he considered the possibilities. He stepped back from his wife and began pacing to and fro, his 3-inch heels making a click-clack sound on the cheap hardwood laminate flooring.

"Do you trust her, baby?"

Dana stifled the urge to scream "NO" as she forced herself to honestly answer her husband's question.

"I don't know", she sighed, "but, I don't think that we can afford not to take the chance.

"Neither do I." her feminized husband replied. "I have to try."

Dana wept silent tears well into the night, as Sloan slept fitfully beside her. She was so worried that she was making all the right moves for the wrong reasons, or all the wrong moves for the right reasons. Either way, she was terrified of what this might do to Sloan, and to her marriage. All the while, she couldn't help feeling an eager anticipation of what it might do to herself.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The next morning, Sloan rose first, started the coffee, and ran himself a hot bath, shaving everywhere. By the time he rose from the tub, Dana was awake and ready for her shower.

"I hope you left me some hot water." she chided as she entered.

Sloan had to smile as he quipped, "As tiny as you are, you shouldn't need more than a few teaspoons"

"Bitch"

"Slut"

They broke into giggles. Sloan reached for some baby powder, but Dana stopped her husband, pointing to a bottle on the cabinet.

"Use the lotion everywhere and rub it into the skin to prevent razor burn"

He complied and began with his face, working down as Dana touched up his back with the razor, removing a few errant hairs and rubbing in lotion.

"Bend over and spread your legs, sweetie"

She was surprised when he instantly obeyed, allowing her to trace the razor around his nether bits, taking particular care with his testicles.
She could almost see the balls draw up as she traced the wrinkled skin with the sharp instrument.

She smirked, "Don't worry, baby. I like this part of you too much to turn you all the way to the dark side."

He caught his breath as she massaged the lotion into the recently denuded area, feeling his cock stiffen as she traced her fingers from his shaft to his balls to his puckered anus and back again.

"Mmmmmmm....someone seems to be enjoying this."

She pulled her hands away and turned to wash them, leaving her husband half-aroused as she entered the shower. She had really wanted to stroke him to completion but remembered Danielle's instructions. It worried her to wonder why the tall, older woman insisted that they not have any sex before the meeting. It frightened her. She did not like the thought of Danielle Sharp having sex with her Sloan. Ms. Sharp had seen the worried look in Dana's eyes at the instructions and had reassured the young wife that she would not be having sex with Sloan.

"It is a training tool" she had stated, "In a heightened state of arousal, Sloan will be much more aware of his body, and much more understanding of the sexual and sensual nature of what it is to be a woman. Remember, in two weeks, your husband has to be the quintessence of femininity."

It bothered her. Now that the rumors about the Sharps' sexual escapades had been confirmed, it bothered her a lot. They had made a lot of promises and guarantees about the consensual nature of their lifestyle, but she knew that there was no way that she could protect Sloan if they tried anything. She was trusting them, and she was sending Sloan into this blind, without giving him the option to make a decision for himself.

She rationalized to herself that they had made no mention of including Sloan in any sexual act. Matt had barely seemed to notice that she had a husband, and Danielle had only expressed a friendly interest in helping him get an audition. There was no mention of anything beyond that. Danielle was just helping her husband get the role of a lifetime.

Dana knew that she was rationalizing, but she realized that she was in too deep to back out now. Her mind had been made up from the moment that Danielle Sharp had proposed this plan. She could feel the undercurrents that threatened to drag her down, but she had committed to trusting them to live up to what they had promised.

As she helped finish Sloan's makeup, she felt as if events were sweeping her up too fast for her to think. She closed her eyes for a moment and offered up a short prayer. She had stopped praying when she was still a child when her stepfather had all but proved to her that there was no God. She had been to Sunday school back then, had loved being there in those happy days before her father died. The days before Rich Midkiff came into her life before her agonized prayers had gone unheeded.

She prayed that she wasn't making a mistake. She prayed that Sloan would not hate her for what she was, and what she was doing. She also prayed that, whatever happened, Sloan would be alright. She would gladly burn in hell and suffer torments everlasting for her sins as long as her sweet Sloan was safe and happy.

They got into her car for the short drive to the studio. Along the way, Sloan questioned her about Matt and Danielle Sharp. What were they really like? How much of the rumors were true? Were they really into some creepy sex cult?

He skirted around the questions he wanted to ask his wife. He was afraid to ask her if they expected anything from her that wasn't part of the standard business contract. He was afraid to ask what extra duties her job might entail, but he was even more upset with himself because the thought of the Sharps using Dana as a sex toy aroused him...a LOT.

Sloan was wearing a sky blue blouse with a simple, but professional looking navy blue knee-length pencil skirt that was slit in the back for ease of movement and accentuated by smoke thigh high hose. He wore his hair in a side part that was loosely braided into an updo. a few stray locks of hair served to frame his face. His feet were encased in the same pair of 3-inch black sling back heels that he had worn the night before.

On his left wrist was a slim-line silver ladies watch and assorted rings adorned his fingers. It was with some trepidation that he had removed his wedding band, but Dana had solved his dilemma by placing it on a silver chain that allowed it to dangle between the C-cup breast forms.

She reassured her husband that if anyone noticed the masculine wedding band, Sloan could claim it was from her late husband. The beauty of this would be that she could rebuff would-be suitors with a story about his recent death and her need for space to deal with her grief.

To cover up Sloan's barely noticeable Adam's apple, she had used a light coral pink scarf that worked very well with the blue and gray ensemble. She had also placed a pair of silver dangle earrings with sky blue stones in his ears. The silver and blue motif were offset by the scarf and his matching coral nails and lip gloss.

Sloan looked every inch the professional woman, including a nice black shoulder bag made of soft faux leather. Inside the bag he carried all of his essentials, cell phone, cosmetics, hairbrush, mirror, wallet, tissues, various cosmetic removers and skin cleaners, hand sanitizer, hair ties, clips, pens, notepad, as well as a few tampons (what woman would be caught dead without emergency tampons?).

He watched the people passing by as he centered his breathing and got himself (herself?) into character.

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Comments

Not just us

Podracer's picture

hanging on the edge here, but the story couple as well. Sloan's about to step off - I think Dana already did.

"Reach for the sun."

Podracer,

waif's picture

Podracer,

Mmmmmm....just remember that looks can be deceiving.

:)

waif

Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.

It becomes more and more obvious.....

D. Eden's picture

That Dana is so tainted that her sexual needs and desires mean more to her than her love for her husband. She is rationalizing her actions by claiming that it is the best thing for his career, even while she worries about what might be in store for him.

It appears that she has already broken her marriage vows, and Sloan is about to do the same.

Perhaps I'm too old fashioned, but I made a pledge before God and the community, and even more important to myself and the people who mean the most to me, that I would forever hold one person above everything else. Even with the crap I went through in the military, with the shit I saw and did in combat, and with all of my personal issues - I have never broken that vow. And I never will.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Hypocrisy, Infidelity and Rationalization

waif's picture

Those three sins are deeply embedded in the human condition. Anyone who has lived beyond puberty has experienced them in some form. One of the great things about writing on the subject of human failings, is that our history as a species is replete with examples of people who have let their own wants, needs, desires, or failings cloud their judgement at pivotal moments.

We judge a diamond by its flaws. It is our flaws as human beings that make us interesting to observe. If we were all perfect and kept every covenant with honor and fidelity, what purpose would God have in placing us here?

No I'm no angel
No I'm no stranger to the street
I've got my label
So I won't crumble at your feet

And I know baby
So I've got scars upon my cheek
And I'm half crazy
Come on and love me baby

So you find me hard to handle
Well I'm easier to hold
So you like my spurs that jingle
And I never leave you cold
So I might steal your diamonds
I'll bring you back some gold

I'm no angel, no I'm no angel
No I'm no stranger to the dark
Let me rock your cradle
Let me start a fire with your spark

---Gregg Allman (1987, Gregg Allman Band)

“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

---Jesus Christ (ND, John 8:7)

Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.

I would, at least to this

I would, at least to this point, view this as a cautionary tale. That may change as we get farther along, but it seems headed that way at the moment. People dealing with issues they have, some of which are not their fault, but which can cause them to make possibly poor decisions. A lot of fiction is exactly this; people with good intentions making bad decisions and then working their way through them, resolving conflicts physical, personal or moral. It tends to be a lot more interesting than the alternative. To be honest, if Dana and Sloan had been smart, they probably would have declined the offer and continued on with there lives as before. And Waif would probably not bother writing about them, as they would be rather boring.

The current chapter surprised me in one spot - Sloan's excitement at his wife being used as a sex toy. There wasn't anything previously that hinted at this - Sloan seemed the more controlled of the couple, his only issue seemed to be his love of crossdressing. I'm guessing he just wasn't aware of this before - most people probably do not consider this about their spouses unless there is actually some reason to. It does seem they are falling into this whole thing rather easily, though what Danielle has in store for Sloan is a bit of a mystery and how he reacts to it as well. I'm sure he will be inclined to go along because of what it means for his career, but how far will he go willingly, and how far will go relcutantly?

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves...

waif's picture

Stevedore,

You make some very keen observations. I will not spoil them on whether this is a cautionary tale, or not. As to things Sloan may, or may not be feeling, I think we are all surprised, at times, by our own inner emotional responses. The fact that Sloan was aroused by the fantasy of Dana as a sexual toy does not mean that he would be truly aroused by the reality. I know that many women enjoy rough role-play and/or rape fantasies, but have yet to meet a rape victim that found it rewarding. Dana's own inner turmoil is evidence of that.

Anyway, I will not add any spoilers, but I am enjoying your responses to my story. I find feedback emotionally stimulating.

Thanks

waif

Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.

Really emotional chapter.

Even the comments plus your response are something for me to think and reflect back. Great chapter.

re: Really emotional chapter.

waif's picture

elizah,

Thank you for your support and your comments.

waif

Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.

She sounds gorgeous! We can

She sounds gorgeous! We can picture in our mind's eye every thing going on .

Karen