The Gender Bomb

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This story was originally posted to Sapphires Place. It didn't seem to get a lot of attention, so I thought I'd go ahead and post it here as well.


The Gender Bomb

By

Melanie Brown

Copyright  © 2004

Some of my IT co-workers and I were at our usual after-work spot, The Palomino Bar, to help us put Monday behind us. It had been a particularly rough Monday and we were all pretty exhausted. Even though we'd all been watching the televisions scattered about the bar to glimpse the game between downing beers, several minutes had passed before any of us realized the sports channel seemed to have been replaced by an image in lavenders and pinks with the words “Stand by for an important announcement from the president of the World's Womyn's Federation.”

“What the hell is that?”, complained Frank.

Joe squinted at the screen and said, “Somebody can't spell. I think they mean 'women'. Sounds like some kind of wrestling show.”

Puzzled, I said, “What about the game? We're not even to half-time yet.”

“Hmmm...a football game or women wrestlers. I can't decide which one I'd rather watch!” grinned Frank.

Suddenly, the lavender sign was replaced with an image of a very unattractive woman in her mid 50s or so. She was wearing equally unattractive black, horn-rimmed glasses and her hair was pulled back severely. Behind her sat other women at computer consoles and a large map of the world filled the background. Text appeared at the bottom of the screen giving her name as Margaret Bullhammer, President of WWF.

A chorus of “What the fuck?” filled the bar as the patrons became aware that the game was no longer being shown.

As the woman on the screen began to speak, the volume of the television seemed to ramp up to a painful volume. “Attention all men across the planet.” There was obvious disdain in her voice as she said the word “men.” She paused, then continued, “Attention all men. I am Ms. Bullhammer, president of the World's Womyn's Federation.”

What she said immediately following was lost due to the shouts consisting mainly of “Get that shit off!” and “Put the game back on!”

The bar tender started changing channels, but the Ms. Bullhammer show was on every channel and he couldn't turn the volume down.

Bullhammer continued, using a tone usually used towards children. “I know that none of you have probably heard of me. That's OK as you will be hearing almost nothing else for the near future. Our organization is made up exclusively of women — powerful women. Very intelligent women...”

Guffawing, someone in the bar called out, “Intelligent women? Shit. What's that?”

“...tired of the way men have been running this planet. Throughout all of human history, there has been nothing but wars, pain and suffering. The WWF is going to correct global human society. We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. The choice will be yours, the men of the world.”

Frank said, “Any of you know who this old broad is? What the hell is she talking about?”

To our annoyance, the camera pulled in for a tighter shot of Bullhammer as she continued, “All major world powers, run by men, have failed us. The United Nations, which is run by men, has also failed us. War, pain and poverty as still with us. To solve this, the WWF fully expects all the major countries to hand over sovereignty to us within one month. We have established liaisons in each major country to help with a smooth transition.”

Joe grunted, “Yeah, and monkeys will fly out of my butt! This has got to be some kind of really stupid joke.”

I said, “Yeah, I bet some kids have hacked into the cable system.”

Frank turned towards me and asked, “You really think so, Steve? Could hackers really do something like this?”

I shrugged and said, “Well, somebody sure is! I don't think this is regular network programming.”

Bullhammer was still talking. “...consequences for failure to put your country under our control. We have put in measures to ensure cooperation — one way or another.” A graphic of the world appeared on the screen. There were blinking yellow dots scattered across the map. “The yellow dots represent approximate locations of ... devices ... that on our command, will release a designer biological agent, an airborne virus, that will attack only human males. No, we're not planning on killing you.” Bullhammer reappeared. “We are against violence after all. This virus won't kill you. It will do much worse than that. The virus will actually cause your one X chromosome to split, while dissolving your Y chromosome. The agent will cause the body to alter itself into a female form.”

“That's fucking impossible!”, someone shouted.

Joe said, “They can't really do that, can they?”

“I don't see how,” I said. “It's a bluff. Does she really think we're just going to hand our countries over to her and her band of bimbos? She's nuts.”

“Damn straight she's nuts.” agreed Frank.

Bullhammer wasn't through with her speech. “I know most of you are thinking that we can't deliver our promise. We are not bluffing. We intend to domesticate the world in the same way we women have domesticated our households for centuries. If you force our hand, well, I think the world would be better off without men anyway. You're no longer needed for reproduction, so you're really not needed anyway.”

“I guess she doesn't need any jars opened.”, Joe mused.

* * *

When I finally got home that evening, the news was all abuzz about the WWF. The pundits, male and female alike chatted endlessly about the merits of the WWF's demands and criticisms. Apparently most of the liaisons had made themselves known after the announcement in their various countries. Most had been arrested on the spot, which is what they expected.

Just as I was about to get up to take a leak, one of the talking heads interrupted his guest to say, “Folks, I've just been informed that we have received a video from the WWF. We're not sure what is on the video, but they want us to air it as soon as possible. Apparently it's a demonstration of the effects of the virus they claim to have created.”

The scene shifted to a rather poor quality video that seemed to have been sped up. A clock running at the bottom of the screen showed time passing by quickly. The scene showed an obviously sedated nude young man seated in a recliner. While I watched, the man's penis began to shrink as his balls actually shriveled and fell off. Tits grew, muscle mass seemed to disappear, and he seemed to shrink. By the time the video ended, about two days had passed and where a young man had been, sat an attractive young woman with a man's haircut.

“We don't know if the video is genuine or not.”, the talking head piped up after the video ended.

A female guest said, “That's right Bob. It was a stunning demonstration, but with today's computer graphics, it's hard to tell what's real and what isn't these days. You have to admit though, that Ms. Bullhammer is shinning a pretty bright spotlight on the issue of the low numbers of women serving in high positions in most of the world's governments.”

Bob smiled and said, “Thank you, Ms. Rogers.” Turning back to the camera, Bob continued, “Well, I'm sure that experts around the globe are analyzing that video pretty closely. Carl, you're an expert in biology, what's your opinion of this video?”

Carl adjusted his tie and said, “Well Mr. McFarland, in my opinion, what we just saw is just good old Hollywood special effects. There are several problems with this video. For starters, we see a complete, at least external anyway, transformation from male to female in less than two days. Even with years of hormone therapy, it takes months to years for a male to grow breasts of any noticeable size, depending on the individual. Certainly not in the time indicated here. Also, the body won't change the genital area all by itself. That requires surgery. And that's just for starters. No Bob, what we just saw just isn't possible outside of Hollywood.”

Bob turned to face the camera and said, “Thanks Carl. And what do we know about this mysterious Margaret Bullhammer? Well, it turns out she's not so mysterious after all. Bullhammer is the maiden name of Margaret Oppenheimer, the billionaire heiress of late industrialist Otto Oppenheimer. Ms. Bullhammer has been an activist for various women's causes for a number of years and recently has been active at major lesbian events. The newly formed World's Womyn's Federation seems to be an attempt to merge all her women's groups under one central organization. She dropped out of sight about six months ago, and no one seems to know her whereabouts.”

The news channel then started showing random video clips of Margaret Bullhammer from over the years. I changed the channel to something more entertaining. After first seeing the video demonstration, my first thoughts were “Holy shit!” But whoever Carl was, was right. What the video showed was impossible. You just can't change a guy wholesale into a woman. I chuckled to myself. Ms. Bullhammer was going to be in a world of shit over this hoax when the Feds caught up with her, billions of dollars or not. Maybe she should change her name from Bullhammer to Bullshit.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, the WWF threat was being downgraded in the news. Late-night talk show hosts were making a connection between the WWF and various wrestling organizations. Margaret Bullhammer had become “Margaret Bullcrap” and absolutely no one was taking her threat seriously any more. That is until one of the WWF's devices were found.

It was in the basement of an abandoned warehouse in Chicago. It was definitely an explosive device and was ringed with gas canisters. It was solidly anchored to the floor along with a note that said any attempt to disarm or move the device would detonate it. The bomb squad gave it a very careful examination and said there appeared to be no external way to disarm the device.

A federal bio-hazard team arrived and began sealing off the old building. The WWF issued a warning that once armed, there was no way to disarm the device, and if someone tried, it would detonate. If one device detonates, they all do, as if it was some kind of Dr. Strangelove Doomsday Machine. The deadline for handing the keys of the world over to the WWF was only three days away.

The WWF was suddenly no longer a joke. Other devices were starting to be found around the world. Governments started mobilizing their military to search for devices and to try to find the still hidden headquarters of the WWF. Longtime enemies put aside their differences in an effort to find their common enemy. The media dubbed the devices 'Gender Bombs.'

* * *

We all sat in silence at our table in the lunchroom at work. Panic was just starting to bubble on the surface despite assurances of experts that what the WWF threatened was impossible and as each device was found, it was being contained as much as possible.

Frank finally blurted out, “This is all bullshit, man! What if this is real? I sure as hell don't want to be a woman!”

“I don't think anybody does”, I said. Then turning to Katherine, the only female in our IT group, I said, “Not that I think there's anything wrong with women, you understand.”

Katherine said, “Hey guys. I'm with you. I don't want all men to disappear. I like my boyfriend just the way he is! Most of the women I've talked to are just as afraid of this as you guys.”

Joe said, “Yeah, but what should we do? I don't want to be a woman, but I sure as hell don't want to be ruled by some crazy old bitch either.”

I said, “A lot of groups are pressuring the President to give in, at least to stop the Gender Bombs from being used.”

Frank frowned, “Well, this all just sucks.”

* * *

G-Day, as the media called it, finally arrived. The cable news channels had their special theme songs and graphics running at each commercial break. Nobody I knew, including me, thought about showing up for work that day. Most married men wanted to spend what could possibly be their last day as men (or even alive, since no one knew for sure) with their families. Gas mask sales had been brisk despite warnings from the experts that the virus, if real, would be around for years. All commercial flights were canceled as well as most forms of travel.

I would have hated to have been the president as the pressure had become enormous. The groups for and against handing over sovereignty to the WWF were becoming shrill. Biology experts around the globe insisted that this was all much ado about nothing.

“That's right, Bob.”, said the latest expert guest on the cable news show. “Even the best sex reassignment surgery still only results in a basically male body mimicking a female form. They still have XY chromosomes, and they cannot reproduce.”

Turning to face the camera, Bob said, “That's very reassuring, Dr. Becker. I...” Bob paused and put his hand to his ear. “Folks, I just got word the President is about to make an announcement. We're taking you to that announcement now, live.”

The scene changed to a shot of the Presidential Seal for a few moments, then dissolved into a shot of the President sitting at his desk in the Oval Office. Standing behind him on either side were two unidentified women.

“My fellow Americans. We as a nation are facing a crisis like no other ever faced. And, we are not alone. All nations of the world are facing the same crisis. Time is short and a decision must be made. Do we do nothing and put the world's population at a greater risk than humanity has ever faced before? Or do we hand our nations over to an organization that we know almost nothing about?

“A treaty has been sent to every leader of every country in which the governing authority is given to the World's Womyn's Federation. It must be signed and ratified before six pm Eastern time today to prevent the release of a devastating virus. Even after ratification, there will be the constant threat of releasing the virus. I have conferred with the leaders of Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. And we have reached a decision. Along with my counterparts around the world, I will sign this document now and I ask Congress to ratify it before the deadline. France has already signed the treaty and has been under WWF control for six days. At the time of ratification, I will resign from the office of the President of the United States.”

“That's fucking crazy!”, I screamed at the television. “There's no proof the virus is real!” The phone suddenly rang.

When I picked it up, I heard Frank's voice saying, “Hey Steve. Did you hear what the president just said?”

“Yeah, that sucks man.”

“Well, the guys are all going to meet at the Palomino to get good and drunk. Want to come along?”

“Sure, why not? See ya.” I hung up the phone.

Turning back to the television news, clips were being show of the leaders of various feminist organizations praising the President's decision. One of them was saying, “... finally bringing justice and a peace to the world that has never been seen before. The reign of men has ended.”

“Yeah, right!”, I muttered as I switched off the television.

* * *

I was the last one from our group to arrive at the Palomino Bar. It seems a lot of people all had the same idea as the place was packed mostly by men. But instead of the rather loud, boisterous atmosphere, today it was a fairly quiet and subdued crowd that just seemed intent on getting drunk.

As I joined the group, Joe said to me, “Steve, what do you think about what Frank has been saying?”

“I just got here, Joe.”

“Frank, tell Steve.”, prompted Joe.

“Well, I just heard from my brother. He lives down in Waco, Texas. He says Ft. Hood is locking down. Lots of activity in the base. A friend of mine who lives in North Carolina called and one of the things he told me was much the same thing about Ft. Bragg. Lots of guys shipping out. I think the prez is just going to fake handing the government over. In fact, I saw...”

Frank didn't get to finish as a frantic news bulletin blasted from the televisions scattered throughout the bar. Losing some of his composure, Bob from the cable news said, “Ladies and gentlemen. We have just received this special alert. A Gender Bomb has been detonated in Bonn, Germany. A German military bomb disposal unit felt they had discovered how to disarm one of the devices. Three members of the German bomb squad were killed instantly. At least fifteen people are reported injured. The containment that had been built around the device was breeched in the explosion. German authorities have admitted that several members of the military in the area seem to have become infected with a completely unknown virus.”

Joe, gaping at the television screen uttered, “Oh ... my ... God!”

Frank banged his beer mug onto the table top and shouted, “Those goddamned Krauts! Why didn't they leave it alone?”

“It's the only one to have gone off,” I pointed out. “Maybe they were bluffing about all of them being set off.”

“What do we do, guys?” Frank's breathing was heavy. “We can't hold our breath and even if filter masks work, you have to take them off sometime to eat. Just what the hell are we going to do?”

Joe, looking totally deflated, said, “I think I'll just get drunk.”

“I'm not giving up just yet,” I said. “In fact, I was going...”

The television caught our attention again. Bob was saying, “Repeating. There are reports of explosions all over the globe. Not just here in the States, but around Europe and elsewhere. Several explosions in New York, Chicago, Los Angles, Houston, Denver — all across the nation. Wait ... this just in ... at least two of the German soldiers injured in the failed attempt to disarm one of the bombs have died due to complications from their wounds during the process of changing their sex.”

So that was it. The bombs were real. We all just sat there, staring into space as the news began to soak in. The bar was almost silent. There was no telling just how much time anyone of us had left before we too were infected.

On television, Dr. Becker was telling Bob, “... just don't have enough information about this virus. We don't know if there's an incubation period or how contagious it is. They said it was airborne, so the winds will carry the virus across rural areas as well as metropolitan. The bottom line Bob, is that we just don't have enough information at this time.”

Looking grim, Bob announced to the audience, “We've lost contact with our crews in Chicago and Denver. We don't know for sure what this means ...”

Frank grabbed my shirt from across the table, panic in his eyes, “Shit man! I don't want to become a woman! Goddammit, I don't want to turn into a woman!”

I disengaged Frank's hand from my shirt and said, “I don't either, man! What do you want me to do about it? Any bright ideas?”

Frank set his jaw in a grim determination. “Yeah, I'm going to go home and kill myself.” He looked back and forth between Joe and me. “Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.” He pushed himself from the table and stood.

I stood up and said, “Now Frank, don't be too hasty.” I pointed at the graphic on the television as they were showing which areas had suffered an exploding device. “Look, we're nowhere near one of the bombs. It could be days or weeks before the virus reaches us.”

Frank shook his head, “Two weeks or two minutes, you know it's going to happen. We can't run from it.” He turned and looking completely defeated, walked out of the bar.

Joe said, “I think I'll go home too. Being around a bunch of people is the worst place to be when a virus breaks out.”

As Joe got up, I looked around. No one was in a panic — yet — but a lot of guys were getting up to leave, walking as if they were headed for their own gallows.

The few women in the bar were all quiet and looking very sheepish. Occasionally one would offer an apology to a man walking by, but they'd get no response back.

I walked up to the bar and sat on a stool. To the bartender I said, “Rupert, I think I need something stronger than beer right now.”

He set a bottle of Jack Daniels in front of me and said, “Here Steve. On the house. Now get yourself home. I have a feeling it's going to start getting rough out there as panic begins to set in.”

“Thanks. I think you may be right. It'll probably ...”. I didn't finish as the television behind Rupert flashed a sign, “Special Announcement from World President Margaret Bullhammer”

Rupert said in disgust, “Oh, now she's calling herself world president, huh? That worthless, arrogant bitch!”

Bullhammer came on the screen. She paused a few moments before speaking, then said, “Greetings citizens of the world. First, I'm not going to apologize for the premature release of the virus. You were warned not to attempt disarming the virus delivery systems. But now the virus has been released and there is no way to stop it from doing the job it was designed to perform.

“Secondly, while I was initially pleased that most of the major countries had announced they were signing our treaty, I was dismayed to discover that these same countries' military were already grouping for stage a coup against us. Trust me, nothing you can do now will stop the virus.

“Our predictions tell us that within seventy-two hours, fifty percent of males around the world will be female or well on their way. Within a week, ninety percent.”

Bullhammer was droning on, but I wasn't listening. I said to Rupert, “Thanks again. I think I'll go home now.” Rupert nodded as I stood up.

* * *

I just sat in my apartment, watching the world go to Hell in a hand basket before my eyes. The cable news channel I was watching had been smart in that they had deployed as many female reporters and crews as they could, since no one knew exactly how the virus was going to effect people.

As Bob returned to the screen after a brief commercial for feminine hygiene products, I thought to myself, “Is he the only taking head they have on that network?”

Grim faced, Bob droned, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is a very dark time for humanity. It seems all the experts were wrong. It's been about three hours since the virus was first released in the city of Bonn, Germany and witnesses are saying the virus is most definitely real. These seem to be the stages the virus goes through: about two hours after becoming infected, the victim develops a high fever and begins sweating profusely. The victim becomes increasingly tired until they fall asleep. It seems children five and under change rapidly only after an hour or so of being infected.

“Health officials across North America have no estimate of how many men have become infected so far, but it's safe to say that probably tens of millions have been exposed to the virus. Actually, since our studios are located in New York, it's a sure bet we've all been exposed. Ladies and gentlemen, I intend to stay on the air for as long as possible to keep you informed. If I have to go off the air for any reason, Tina Sanders will be standing by to fill in for me. Now we go live to Tod in Los Angles ... Tod?”

The scene switched to a shot of an area of downtown LA with an obviously nervous man holding a microphone. In the background was total chaos. Tod said, “Bob, I don't know how much longer we can stay here. As you can see, it's gotten quite crazy.” The camera panned away from Tod towards the mob. Mostly women, but some men, but all too few police officers in riot gear were trying to break up a mob and stop the looting and vandalism.

I stepped outside of my second story apartment. It was mostly quiet here. The virus probably hadn't made it here yet. But it would. It was just a matter of time.

* * *

I'd fallen asleep while watching the news. I awoke to a world in complete chaos. Bob was no longer the talking head. There was Tina instead, talking about something. I wasn't listening. I was taking inventory of myself first. A quick, thorough check revealed that I was still me.

I stepped outside. It was mid-morning. Downstairs I saw two kids playing in the apartment's courtyard — two little boys. That was a relief. The virus hadn't struck here. I went back inside.

Tina was saying, “... and that was Sandy with the latest in Europe. Our studio guest is Dr. Bryant. She has an update on the virus. Dr. Bryant?”

Dr. Bryant said, “Well, Tina it seems that most victims across the globe are in the sleeping stage of the virus. I have been in contact with one of the WWF scientists and she has confirmed that one of the effects of the virus is having was not intended, nor even desired. A majority of the victims seem to be not only changing sex, but seem to be going through an age regression as well. Victims twenty years old and younger do not seem to be experiencing this effect. We're not sure what changes to the victims mentality occur after the change. Children five and under only sleep for a few hours and the ones we have been able to study indicate behavior that suggests their brains have been completely re-wired as female.”

The camera panned back to Tina. “Thank you Dr. Bryant. And now for a quick recap from around the world.”

I just sat there stunned, listening to Tina. Society on a global scale had collapsed. Some men, once they knew they had the virus went on a rampage to rape as many women as they could in the time they had left. In some areas of large cities, the streets were littered with would-be looters who couldn't fight the overwhelming desire to sleep after contracting the virus. There were also large numbers of suicides.

Violence ravaged the Arab world as men attacked and killed women, blaming them for what was about to happen to them. Some Arab leaders tried to change their laws so that women could own property and have rights, before they themselves became women. Word got out what they were trying to do and rioters gunned them down. Many of the Arab men won't ever find out what it's like to be female as they are being killed in their sleep either by men who haven't fallen victim yet, and by enraged women.

The WWF admits they didn't anticipate such violence. They did expect a several days of social upheaval as the former men adjusted to their new lives. But they didn't expect total pandemonium.

Everything was grinding to a halt. The men that kept the factories, buses, trains, computer systems, farms, police departments, fire departments, radio and television stations running just weren't there. They were either locked in their homes, terrified, or out on the streets causing mayhem or they were sleeping their way into womanhood.

* * *

I stayed glued to the television all afternoon. As I watched, my mind kept drifting. How do you prepare for this? I didn't have a clue. There were no women's clothing in my apartment. Should I go buy some? What size? Or am I just going crazy?

As the evening wore on, I could start to hear shouts and cries from outside. I heard a couple of sounds that sounded too much like gunshots. The virus had struck our town. Maybe I'd be one of the lucky few.

After monitoring the virus' activities for the past 24 hours, scientists were starting to piece its properties together. It seems that approximately 20% of the male population had an immunity to the virus. So men weren't going to completely disappear from the world. Most senior citizens over seventy-five years old weren't able to handle the change and they were dropping like flies. There was a definite age regression with the virus, with some victims regressing down to an apparent thirteen or fourteen years of age. This apparently was not something the WWF had planned for. Something else the WWF didn't account for — apparently, during the process that re-wires the brain, some of the memories get scrambled as well. Many newly awakened teenage girls, while they knew their names and some recent history, couldn't remember things like what they used to do for a living, and they lost most of their skills.

The phone rang. When I answered I heard a raspy, yet familiar voice, “Steve, it's me, Frank.”

“Hey Frank. What's up man, you sound like crap.”

“Steve. Listen, I've got the virus.”

I sat bolt upright. “Oh my God! Frank, are you sure? Maybe it's just indigestion.”

Frank, obviously horrified, continued, “Oh, I'm sure all right. Goddamn! This just ain't right!”

“Calm down, man. Maybe it's nothing.”

“Calm down my ass! I've got the fever, I've got the sweats and I feel completely exhausted. I ... I ...”. Frank stopped talking for a moment. It sounded like he was crying. Quietly he continued, “I put the barrel of my gun in my mouth, Steve. I put the fucking gun in my mouth!” He paused again. Then he continued, “I ... I just couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. I couldn't pull the trigger...” His voice faded away.

“Jesus, Frank! Thank God you didn't pull the trigger!” I shouted.

Frank cried, “I'm afraid to go to sleep. What will I be when I wake up?”

“You'll be alive.” was all I could manage to say.

“Big freakin' deal, huh? I'll be a woman. I'd be better off dead.”

“Frank, don't talk like that. Just try to hang in there!”, I said.

There was a pause, then very quietly, Frank's said, “I better hang up. I can't force myself to stay awake. See you in Hell, Steve.” and he hung up.

Damn! The virus was starting to strike close at home. How as I going to get out of this?

* * *

The virus had spread over almost the entire world. Not only did industrialized countries suffer, but whole cultures in places like Africa were destroyed with the complete loss of the men in their tribes. The rioting had mostly stopped, but buildings still burned.

Male babies were delivered male, but within a couple of hours, quietly turned into female babies.

Another unintended consequence of the virus materialized. Not only did most of the infected men revert to teenagers as they became female, they were also boy-crazy and hornier than hell. Only there weren't very many boys around.

The military was in a world of hurt. Their ranks were suddenly filled with thousands of horny teenage girls who didn't know one end of a rifle from the other. A woman officer was complaining about how they just weren't set up to play nurse-maid to teen girls. Several experts (all women) came on the news and talked about just how big a mess we were in with millions of freshly minted teen girls as well as new mature women, who not only were going to be needing clothes, but things like tampons and someone to show them how to use them. They said that industry just didn't have the capacity to handle the clothing demand of so many millions of girls, especially since the factories were shut down, transportation was shut down, farms were shut down. It was a mess. The WWF admitted they hadn't planned on a complete shutdown of the infrastructure, mainly because they didn't anticipate the skill loss and the age regression. The WWF was especially annoyed that most of their victims were all boy-crazy.

Small armies of women from the WWF started descending upon nation's and state's capitals to start taking over control. They had a surprise waiting for them, almost everywhere they went, with the exception of the European Union. They were met by mobs of women — mothers, wives, sisters and girlfriends of former men were all very upset at what the WWF had done to their loved ones as well as to the world. They were beaten and pelted by rocks and any other available loose objects. The WWF said they'd return when things calmed down a bit. They said we'd need their organization to get things rolling again.

The few women in the Congress voted one of themselves Speaker of the House. She was then immediately sworn in as President. They showed scenes on the news of the former president skipping around the White House and showing off some of her new dresses.

* * *

It'd been almost a week since the virus struck. I walked into the Palomino Bar and was surprised to see Rufus still behind the bar. I sat down at the bar instead at one of the many empty tables. I wasn't the only male left as there were a few scattered around the bar. Rufus was watching the news on the television over the bar. There wasn't much else on now that the WWF controlled most of the radio and television stations. The programming was junk that I would have thought the WWF would have found offensive. They were just vacuous shows about beauty tips, fashion and idle, mindless chatter.

As I sat down, Rufus grunted and pointed at the television. “Now that's ironic.”

I looked at the television and asked, “What's that about?”

Rufus set my usual drink down in front of me and said, “That virus has devastated the transsexual community. You know how it makes your dick shrink down to a clit? Well, it seems that those transsexuals had their dongs turned inside out to make a pussy. Well, it tried to shrink their dicks and it's ripped their privates wide open and most bled to death before they could get medical attention because they were asleep when it happen.”

I couldn't believe it, but they actually showed a quick shot of a grisly scene. Rufus turned to me and said, “Well, fuck 'em, I say. Serves them right for wanting to be women anyway.”

I started to say something when Bullhammer's face appeared on the screen. “Greetings citizens of the New World Order. As we bring more governments under our control, which gives us greater resources, we will soon have order restored. While we knew there'd be a few days of adjustment, we didn't anticipate an almost complete shutdown of society. Please bear with us. We hope to ...” Ms. Bullhammer suddenly stopped in mid-sentence and behind her, off-camera was quite a disturbance. There were shouts and what sounded like shots being fired. The camera was suddenly jerked around as something apparently hit it and several women commandos came into view. Then the screen went black.

Then the cable news came back on. There was a teenage girl sitting behind the desk. “We don't know what was just happening, but it uh, like, sure looked like ol' Ms. Butthammer was getting invaded! Isn't that just like, totally cool?” The pretty girl beamed a smile at the camera for a few moments. Then she continued, “This is Bobbie McFarland on your twenty-four hour news source. During the break, we'll try to find out just what the heck happened!”

Looks like old Bob got his, or rather her job back. I hoped they fired her soon...

While waiting for news of what just happened, I looked around the bar. An attractive young woman, but not a teen, caught my attention. She was wearing a very short red dress with red high heels and she was having an animated discussion with a guy sitting at her table. I looked closer and realized I was looking at Frank! I got up and walked over to her.

The guy looked annoyed that I was interrupting. I didn't care. I said to the woman, “Frank, is that you?”

She frowned and said, “It's Francine. And yes, it's me, Steve. I see you're as handsome as ever. In fact, I don't think I ever realized just how handsome you are.” Frank, or I guess I should say Francine, gave me a definite “Let's do it here on the table” kind of look.

“You look pretty nice yourself”, I said honestly. “You're OK with being a woman I guess?”

“Oh honey, you don't know the half of it!” she squealed. “Sex as a woman is the most wonderful experience! Now I wish I'd been born female. I've been wasting a lot of time. And now there's so few men.” She pouted. Wow. That sure was a different attitude from the guy who was about to end his life rather than become a woman.

“OK, well... I guess I'll leave you two alone then. Catch you later.” I gave her a small wave and began to walk away.

“Sure Steve. I'll call you later. If you're still a guy, maybe we can get together?” Frank cooed.

“Uh, we'll talk. See ya.”, and I walked away. Frank certainly made a very pretty woman and she was horny as hell. But there was just something about the idea of having sex with one of my oldest male friends.

I walked back to the bar and started to say something to Rufus, but he waved me off and pointed to the television.

Tina had replaced Bobbie on the news and she was saying, “... a daring raid by multi-national, all female commandos. Intelligence finally led our forces to the headquarters of the WWF. Ms. Bullhammer, president of the organization was arrested for crimes against humanity. A science team attached to the commandos are studying the data on the virus in the hopes of, if not a cure, then at least some way to neutralize the virus so male babies can stay male after they're born.

Apparently a multi-national, all female force had been established within days of the WWF's first announcement and began vigorous training and an immediate search for the WWF's headquarters. It turns out that the President as well as Britain's Prime Minister and most of the heads of the European Union had no real intention of just rolling over and letting the WWF just take over the world. China's leaders had sealed themselves in underground bunkers where they could lead, but could never come out.

As the news faded into a commercial for tampons, Rufus sighed and said, “Thank God! But I doubt things will get back to normal for a very long time.”

“You mean men running things or getting factories and business getting staffed and operational again?” I asked.

“Yes.” said Rufus flatly.

* * *

The next few days were pretty rough. I decided to try to go back to work. I was surprised both by the fact that I was still a guy and that our company was operational. A couple of the senior execs were women and they had taken the helm. I wasn't the only guy still there, but only Katherine and myself were running the IT department.

Katherine looked up in surprise when I entered the office. “Steve? Wow. I really expected you to be Stephanie or something by now. Congratulations on keeping your manhood.”

“Thanks. I'm pretty psyched about it myself.” I said as I powered up my PC. “I'm surprised anyone is here at all.”

“Yeah, Ms. Kenny finally opened the doors yesterday. They only tried to contact a few people that first day.” Katherine looked around the office. “I still can't believe this place wasn't ransacked!”

“Have you seen Frank yet?” I asked over the cubical wall.

Katherine laughed and said, “You mean Francine? Yeah, I've seen her. She's supposed to be back today or tomorrow. I swear! That girl is so feminine, I feel positively masculine standing next to her.” She shook her head.

“She's hot all right.” I said, looking over the cubical wall. “I have a date with her tonight.” I don't think I should have said that.

Katherine's jaw dropped. “You're going on a date with your old buddy Frank?”

I could feel my face turning red. “You have to admit, Frank's ... Francine's a lot sexier than she used to be. She asked me, I didn't ask her.”

At lunch, I went into a conference room that had a television hooked up to cable so I could watch the news. All across the country, what was left of churches, National Guard and other volunteers were commandeering any large, empty buildings and converting them to makeshift dormitories for all the teeming teen girls who really had nowhere to go. Fathers and sons giggling together, sharing lip gloss and ogling over the same cute boy. The images disturbed me.

All we managed to do that day was to get most of the servers back up and checked out. Around four thirty, Ms. Kenny dropped by to thank us for showing up and said to go ahead and go for the day. It gave me a little extra time to get ready for my big date.

* * *

I was surprised I'd made it home. I'd had way too much to drink. It was quite late, but who cared anymore? Muscles that I didn't even know I had ached. Francine was absolutely the best sex I'd ever had. She was incredible and insatiable. I was completely worn out. It was impossible to believe that only a few days ago she was very male.

I was going to take her to dinner at one of the few restaurants still open, but she had me undressed before I could even sit down on the couch. It was a non-stop wild ride for the next few hours.

She had exhausted me. I could barely drag myself into my bedroom. I didn't even bother to undress as I collapsed on my bed and dropped immediately asleep.

* * *

The WWF did get part of what they wanted. The world was being run by women. It just wasn't being run by the WWF. They were all in jail awaiting an international tribunal. The violence and poverty were still very much with us. In fact, the complete collapse of the world's economies led to even deeper poverty than there had been. What had been destroyed so quickly was now going to take a long time to rebuild.

Scientists were still trying to isolate the virus and felt that they'd have a vaccine “any day now.”

More frightening events were being shown on the news. Bobbie was getting back into the swing of being a talking head. That wasn't what was frightening though. China, even with eighty percent of its male population gone, still had a formidable army. With resources getting scarce, the Chinese decided they'd go for the Siberian oil fields since they saw weakness in the Russians. They simultaneously launched an attack against Taiwan since there were no U.S. forces to stop them.

But I was getting bored watching the news. I turned away from the television and said to my dorm-mother, “Do you think this dress makes me look fat?”

The End

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Comments

Well, I Suppose I should Start

...by saying that Melanie You are a Great Writer, but I can not bring my self to approve of this story for my tastes. The subject matter is why. It involves a high hatred of males. Yes i do dislike a lot of them, but I would never hate them enough to do that. The idea in the story is so radical for me, it turns me off. Its just, to me, people should look beyond sex and gender and look at the soul. Is it beautiful to you? would you want to be with that soul? bodies dont matter, souls do. THAT'S the REAL person - the soul inhabiting the body.

Besides the hatred, the rest of it was fairly ok. The Ringleader was brought down too easy and seemed to give the impression a woman could not be a good master villianess to me. Its not that you inferred it into the story, just an impression that I saw that may or may not be applicable.

Overall, the story made a good vent over hatred of how men treated women and women striking back for revenge. For me, its not a story idea I prefer or like. Everyone here on BC that knows me, knows im sweet/sentimental romantic but I always give new stories a fair shake and try just to explore something new. I am very sorry I could not find it within myself to find this story redeeming enough for a good review. But I felt it worthwhile to point out my opinion, even though you may dislike it much, as to why maybe your story did not do so well. There is also every possibility someone else may actually like it. If they do, then that is great!

Hugs Melanie

Sephrena Lynn Miller

Satire...

erin's picture

...is often mistaken for pathos and dystopian warnings for screeds.

Funny stuff, Melanie. Good job.

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Satire sometimes has to be pointed out

BarbieLee's picture

Melanie did a heck of a job as a writer stepping outside the boundaries when she wrote this puppy. It is completely way out there and yet the storyline still flowed as only a good Word Smith can write. I wonder if all those who disagree with the storyline like every pair of shoes they see? Maybe they like every dress in the store? The list is endless but I hope they get the message every story they read isn't going to resonate favorably with their emotions.

I felt the story was funny not because of Female World Domination theme but the old standard one of the guy couldn't keep it in his pants. He might have escaped the airborne virus but not direct contact.

And so he learns life's other lesson. Life is female. She's (life) a bitch and then you die.

Good storytelling
always,
Barb

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

I wondered

Sephrena did you really read the same story I did? ::grin::

The story does not "make a good vent over hatred of how men treated women." Seriously, this isn't tragedy, it's supposed to be approached with a sense of humor. I think you may have projected something that really bugs you, personally, onto the writing.

Good job, Melanie, but then, I always like your stuff.

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Yes Both You and Erin

are right its a humorous comedy. I could not suspend my disbelief in order to accept it and indulge into the story at all. I tried immersing like normal, I tried dispassionate 3rd person, I could not enjoy the story nor block the gist of the idea out. Yes, its just me and no, Melanie is a good writer if you read my reviews on her other stories. The subject matter somehow struck me a little too deep to appreciate it. thats why I made sure to mention its me. Its possible some people picked up on that same thing too. possible. I just have a very difficult time dealing with a lot of hatred, even jammed into a comedy. I did apologize that I was unable to. I wish I could have looked past it to see the story the way you two did. The tragedy, I know, is my inability to block the repugnance of the hate suggested at, and maintain the story flow and being able to enjoy it. It shows me I have a ways to go in trying to deal with subjects I do not like in a way to get past it from blocking me from story immersion.

Again, Melanie. I apologize I was unable to.

Sephrena Lynn Miller

It's okay

A lot of us are wounded here, sometimes we bleed on the screen. ::hug::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Sorry you didn't like the story

Melanie Brown's picture

But I wanted to say that the story wasn't about hating men. I certainly don't hate men, though I'm annoyed by some. In fact, it was kind of taking a poke at those who do have a hatred of men.

Take care,
Melanie

Its OK Melanie :)

I do in fact love your writing. And in no way am I ever going to demean you :) But I am anxiously awaiting more brilliant stories from that mind of yours!

Hugs

Sephrena Lynn Miller

Didn't this story get some great responses?

I think most over reacted, it was a comedy, not real, it could have been all males turning into Martians, if this was fishing I'd say you all got hooked, sinker, line and rod.

Ha! Ha ! HA HA !!!

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

My Favorite

This is my favorite Melanie Brown story.

It was funny all the way through and well-written too!

How dare that Francine carry an STD. :)

Aardvark

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

Depressing

Talented writer.

But... this story feels too negative for my tastes.

boo!

no sense of humor will shorten your life quicker than WWF!

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Gender Bomb

I did read it on Sapphire but can't remember now whether or not I commented.

It may be from several viewpoints: a rant about men whose only answer to the world's ills is to conquer someone (especially someone who doesn't agree with their opinion), a rant about bossy women who don't think through the consequences of their actions, the author's imagination just going completely wild, and so on.

Not my kind of story, no happy ending (well not to my taste) but a salutory tale about trying to mend something without fully appreciating the effects of the fix. I know that's a bit deep for me (I don't 'do' deep!) but that's my take on it.

I hope to see some happier tales from your pen. This was, when all's said and done, very well thought out and very well written.

Hugs,

Susie

Missing the point

It strikes me as odd that so much of the commentary about Melanie's story revolves around the question of man-hating. What stands out to me is how completely women are degraded, so much so that I am astonished that a woman authored the thing. The conversion to womanhood in this story renders its victims (at least in terms of the story's perspective) over-sexed, dim-witted bimbos who apparently can't think beyond dressing in dresses and undressing to be addressed in their new recesses. Melanie, were you that much of a vapid twit when you were a teenager? The world isn't going to experience much change in sexism and misogyny any time soon if even women can't stop seeing themselves through the filters of Cosmo and beer commercials.

Missing

I'm sure that Melanie can defend herself if she wants to, but I read this story as a funny satire with a clever usage of a whole lot of cliches. Although you're not the first, the mystery for me is how anyone could mistake this for anything BUT a satire. I've read a couple of other stories by this author and saw no sign of misogyny at all -- just a couple of rather nice tales about people changing into women with some adventure added. No kiddin', Demi, with all due respect, I think you're on the wrong track here. :)

Regards,

Aardvark

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

Missing the point

Melanie Brown's picture

Aardvark pretty much has it. The female antagonists in the story are mostly a distillation of the attitudes of extreme feminist groups. The statement "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" comes to mind. The villians (WWF) in the story weren't trying to change men into horney teen girls or break down society. Those were unintended consequences of their meddling. Very often in the real world, the cure is worse than the problem they were trying to solve.

I hope that clears some things up. If not, let me know.

Melanie

Coming Soon

Directed by Ed Wood. Starring Peter Sellers, John Travolta, Slim Pickens, Robin Williams and a cast of thousands. All this needs is a laugh track.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Gender Bomb

Quite a story. Were you born a woman?

The Gender Bomb

Is a tale of a pyrrhic victory for all involved. Having said that, it is also tongue in cheek humor at its finest.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Not only that,

Extravagance's picture

but it was/is also a total blast! :D

Catfolk Pride.PNG

This story was so neccesary!

Thank you for writing this story... It was so necessary. I guess that happens when the most privilleged group in human history aka female white middle and upper class females decide that they can do everything better than males.

Well at least they didn't do it the standart way as releasing a virus that kills every male, but then it did kill enough people. Fighting poverty by mindwiping all men. How stupid are they?

Thank you for writing this satire on radical femenism and their gendercide fantasies. They ought to be put into prison and not allowed to spit their hatred at universities and in politics.

Beyogi

wow.... someone get me sick! lol

I find this is truly an interesting premise and well staged in the way that society would partially collapse but naturally there are a few items I was distressed by (no, not dis-dressed! lol)

Women are not the vacant fluffy arm candy machos seem to think they are. I know a great many that are FAR more adept in the man's world of mechanics, etc. In fact I would go to say that I am getting to know far more women are more technologically talented than many guys!

The other thing was the silly dialogue that a lot of guys seem to mistake for female jargon. It's been since the early 1970s
that I've heard the term "like" so often used. That was never actually a feminine thing guys, it was unisexual. EVERYONE said it just as often as people use the term "dude" (another non-gender term in slang meaning).

Stop 'over-fluffing' girls. Women are not vacuous, technologically challenged weak baby machines. Many can kick the average guy's ass, out do him in the autoshop (one on one) and have the extra bonus of knowing how to deal with intelligence without having it being blanketed by mere sexual desire.

Despite that... I loved the story. (so much this is actually my 3rd or 4th reading since it was 1st posted!)

Kudos Melanie!

Jargon

Melanie Brown's picture

Whether still in vogue or not, I'll pick a few words to use in either just teen or teen girl speech patterns to separate them from adult speech patterns. Women speech patters usually contain more words than men, so I'll exaggerate that sometimes to differentiate between the two. Bob: Nice haircut. Melanie: Oh, I just love what you've done with your hair!

And as far as the newly minted teen girls being vacuous and silly, it was an unintended side-effect of the bomb.

Melanie

I'd like to see the movie

I liked the way the story unfolded - I didn't expect most of the things that happened,
and I'm not surprised the WWF didn't either. It must have taken a lot of work and energy
just to develop the project and to coordinate the global installations.

I really enjoyed the story, and I'll be thinking about it for a while.

Kaleigh

Me too!

Melanie Brown's picture

I'd like to see the movie myself. Know any producers? :)

Melanie

Controversial

As I started to read, I realised that it was a satire and who it was aimed at. A funny read Melanie that certainly a few missed.

Joanna

I really liked it!

licorice's picture

I think I'd like to see more of this world. I'm not sure what other stories can be told but I'm curious.

WOW Some story

Melanie I have come late to reading this story as its now nearly 10 years old.
I am so impressed and I can see why some responders were a little offended. It shows they got into the story which held them there. I suspect they were unable to stand back from it and see the absurdity for what it was. I nearly ended up there myself which is why I see the logic of their comments. A good (black) story well told.

Will

It sounds...

It sounds like a caution while a contemporary society is on its way to make something very stupid.