Who's on first?

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One of the no-no's I do is mixing point of views. I'll have the main character speaking in the first while other viewpoints are presented at the end of the chapter. No one has really complained about this and I think as long as I keep those other POV as counterpoints to the main character it works for me.

That is until this latest tale of mine. My main character has been Shanghaied by a rogue AI Time-ship. I ended up with this back and forth thing going between the two with an occasional peek into the larger universe to remind my readers that lots more is actually going on.

The Problem is that breaks my formatting of having on a short 3rd person piece as that counterpoint.

I sat and stared at the 18k of words that I had completed before I reluctantly concluded that I needed to change the 1st person to 3rd to regain symmetry. Steeling myself I got to work. At about the 3rd chapter I stopped again in disgust. This was just not working. I really needed to dive into the wonder, the frustration, and the fear of my main character. 3rd person wasn't doing the job.

The other alternative is more challenging that is writing Theo, the AI, in 1st person too. That's tough as well given she's not human although she might seem like it since she was designed to interact with human as a human. Just how do you present an intelligence like that?

I like the concept and my outline, but I'm afraid of becoming frustrated with this and it'll end up in the dreaded incomplete file along with many others as my muse whispers yet another new idea in my ear leaving yet another story with no ending. Sigh... This time I don't know if I can blame my muse... :)

Just ranting about the joys of writing.
hugs
Grover

Comments

I don't know. ---> Thirdbase.

Seriously, give the AI a quirk in the way it either acts or interacts with people. In Star Trek:TNG Data never used contractions, one of the Star Trek:TOS episodes had a "personality program" in the computer that always called Kirk, Dear. So pick an odd quirk for the AI to use, and always use it, even if it just addressing the main character with a title before the name.

The thing I would have used writing AI

... I would have done internal monologue in kind of programming language.
"Pull data from list. Compare with response. Call GenerateIdleChatter for 5 minutes."
Something like this. Main error of everybody who tried writing AI internal monologue was that they forgot it's not alive. It is software running on hardware. It could be self aware but it would not be human in the internal workings. It would use databases, it would run subroutines, it would generate data and it will store data for future use.
And it does not mean that it will not behave like human to outside observer.

If it works, it works

The reason why change of viewpoint is (quite rightly) usually stigmatised is because it looks like bad, sloppy writing. Either the writer is so little self-aware that s/he doesn't realise what s/he's doing, or else the piece is poorly edited; maybe a revision that's missed bits. It can have the same jarring effect on the reader as when a character's name changes halfway through for no apparent reason (my particular bugbear) - and often changes back a few paragraphs later!

BUT if you're doing it deliberately, for a specific purpose, that's quite a different matter. It's difficult to comment on your story without actually seeing it. From your outline the commonest way would be to concentrate on the protagonist's point of view if you wanted to emphasise their 'wonder, frustration and fear', with the AI being an alien, unknowable presence, being the'other'. But I can see reasons why you might want to keep switching to the AI's point of view and back again, e.g. if you wanted to show that what the protagonist thinks is happening, is not happening at all, but something completely different.

But of course it's your story, only you can write it. The long and the short of it is: if it works, it works. If it doesn't work, you'll be told. :)

kandijayne

I've done such things....

I often change viewpoints between characters and how they are written on purpose, to give contrast. Done it in two stories as part of the story itself so far, as a writing experiment.
So far no one has complained about it, and many have complimented it.

Now if only I could stop changing tenses at random in my stories....

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A silly idea

Here's a different spin for you. Have you considered writing your story from alternating points of view first your first character's take on things then Theo's. You could show how both characters are dealing with the situations, each other's emotions and thier own thoughts. I don't know if it will work for you, but it is an idea.

POV

erin's picture

This isn't simple POV shift. Unfortunately, the phrase abbreviated as POV has two meanings in writing. You are using the larger meaning, not simply viewpoint character, but voice as well.

But I don't see why you can't do what you originally started out doing. A POV shift is perfectly legitimate as long as it is signalled for the reader to notice and so is seen to be deliberate. Such a technique is out of style for most writing these days but that doesn't mean it isn't being done. Especially if you keep the shifts to just these two characters, it should work.

Here's how I see it could be done:

These are paragraphs written in first person from the viewpoint and in the voice of the human main character. Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz. Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz. Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz.

These paragraphs are written in third person from the viewpoint of the AI. Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz. Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz. Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz.

Back to first person. Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz.Xxxxx xxxx xxxxx x xxxxxx. Yyyyyyyyyy yy yyyyyy yyyyy. Zzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz zzzzzz zzzz.

You might not need to be so elaborate but I have seen stories done in similar style for nearly parallel reasons. It's not as uncommon to need such constructions when writing science fiction but thrillers and horror and even mystery stories sometimes benefit from non-mainstream storytelling.

Good luck.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.