So tired of being asked to choose

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I've been having an email conversation with my brother's pastor, who thinks this transition is a sin. I'm so tired of feeling like I'll never be accepted by my faith, and that I must choose between being a Christian, and being transgender. Ask me which leg I'd rather have removed, it would be an easier choice ...

Ah, well.

Comments

Find a new church. not a new faith.

It is sad to see that so many times that the bible mentions that the Spirit is what is important to God, and not the flesh, yet that is what so many in the church focus on.

I found God and followed Him into the church. Then, I kept following Him right out.

--Brandon Young

find a more accepting pastor

They are out there. I dont think transition is a sin at all. It is a medical condition that has to be corrected by a doctor. There are people born with all sorts of problems and deformities. Is correcting them though surgery a sin? I would hope not

I knew a mother who had a infant born with only half of his heart functioning. The baby had to go into surgery immediately to correct that problem. Was that a sin? I dont think so. I seriously dont think god is involved in our births or there are a whole lot of mistakes made by god that must be corrected. God doesnt mistake mistakes, but our bodies do.

I would say "find a friend"...

As good pastor is just one of the possible friends. So limiting yourself to only pastors is destructive by default. Lots of them are paedophiles into choirboys. Lot of them are gays or TGs in very deep denial.
Chances are extremely slim.

But she doesnt want to give up her faith either

SO that is why I told her to find a more tolerant priest or pastor. There are some very good tolerant and kind priests and then theres like fred phelps that give the good ones a bad name.

You are mixing faith and church.

Don't do it. Faith is faith. Church is succsessfull corporation monetising peoples beliefs, fears and ignorance.
So there is absolutely nothing in common between faith and religion and between faith and church. My grandma was wery faithfull christian and she was one of the defining presences in my life. But she never visited any church that I know of.

Sometimes religion doesn't

Sometimes religion doesn't take into fact that people were born this way and its not a choice. The bible is written on the beliefs of the people that wrote it during a time when my science was considered blasphemy. The truth of the matter is there is no choice for people like us we are who we are.

I know for myself there was a time I used to pray to god to somehow make life right and those prayers were never answered and I gave up on that dream long ago.

All we have is the moment and what we chose to do with it, if there is a god then he wouldn't have made us like this if there wasn't a chance for us to enter heaven let alone giving the doctors the tools to make this even transition possible.

Remember one thing the original churches where not in building, people met outside it didn't really matter where all that mattered is they met as a group and loved and cared for one another.

So if you ask me god isn't found in a old building but within the hearts of the people that love and support you. This pastor believes what he says to be true and that is his opinion, if you ask me its a misinformed opinion based on beliefs alone and doesn't make room for what medical science has proving.

Cain129

Seriously...

If your faith is claiming to be based on Christian religion you come to logical dead end. If it's Christian - everyone is accepted by default. If someone is not accepted - it's not Christian. So it's up to you to solve this puzzle. Do you want to stay this kind of "Christian" or do you want to be yourself?
I've solved this puzzle for myself and I'm Christian but I only participate in any church rituals if I feel that it's right for me. Because some churches are actually built.in places where you can not go wrong...

Has anyone else posted this yet?

Rachel Greenham's picture

Apologies if they have, but it seems relevant (again): http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html. It's worth going through some of the follow-up posts too.

I'm not a christian, and tbh a lot of the points in the article seemed self-evident to me, but i suppose there are people to whom it's not self-evident, until they have it spelled out for them. It does give one hope though.

And who is he?

But who exactly is your brother's pastor to you? Is he or was he *your* pastor? Does he have any influence on *your* church?

Anyone can have an opinion, but is there any reason why his matters? Any more, say, than a complete stranger in a pub somewhere?

He sounds like an excellent Pharisee, but not a very good Christian.

The Pharisees (at least as they're portrayed in the Bible) loved rules, loved judging other people, and that is why they missed out on Jesus' message. They were too busy tsk-tsking at what other people were doing.

Maybe you can make him see where he is putting you, and say what you've said here: that he makes you feel that you must choose between being Christian and being transgender. What he's doing, he's doing the wrong way.

And by the way, if he gives you that horrible crap about "Loving the sinner and hating the sin," ask him where you can find that in the Bible. It's not there. Jesus never taught such a idiotic and impossible thing. It's just some nonsense someone invented as an excuse for hating.

Use Your Feet

Where I live there are dozens of churches within five miles of my home. If you don't like this pastor then go to another church. If that one is wrong for you then go to another. You have free will.

You may also try what I have done with a number of rabbis and close friends did with other pastors, including one that was a "fire and brimstone" preacher. Explain the transgender condition, especially as applies to you. Sometimes it works, although this pastor may be one who says, "This is what I believe. Don't confuse me with the facts."

Remember that, according to the "Shabbat" commandment (Ex 20:8-11 & Deut 5:12-15), G-d doesn't distinguish between man or woman; adult or child; Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, etc.; worker employer, on the dole because of being rich, on the dole because of misfortune or on the dole because of age; Democrat or Republican; American or Taliban; heterosexual or gay; human or other animal. Ask this pastor why he does.

Stay a Christian.

As most of you know, I am not a Christian, but Jewish. When Dorothy mentions faith, I do not know if she is talking about Christianity in general, or about, for lack of a better term, some sub-set thereof. I am unable to differentiate between Baptist, a Lutheran, an Episcopalian, as to their different views of Transgenderism. From what I read here some churches are better then others. I think Dorothy can remain a Christian with no problem. Perhaps she needs a new sub-set. As to her brother's minister, why is his opinion important? Why did the brother sic the minister on Dorothy?

Dorothy keep your faith, but seek out a church, minister who a best supports you and at worst does not question you. Stay away from the jerks.

Rami

RAMI

Well, I am an atheist

But you know, I respect Christ, I try to follow his precepts not out of faith, which I don't have, but because I believe that they are the "right" thing because they cause the greatest benefit to all. So I don't even believe in God but I guess I am still a Christian. Your pastor may "believe" in God and Christ but he cannot even recognize them.

The problem is common to many religions. Rabbi Hillel: Hillel, on the other hand, converted the gentile by telling him, "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary. Go and study it.". Pretty much the same as Christ's response when questioned about commandments.

I am pretty sure the so called pastor is what some one else here recently called an ignoranus. He certainly does not understand his religion. You Dorothy ARE a Christian. You can be no other way. It is built into you as atheism is built into me. YOU are one of the elect not your pastor. Feel sorry for the poor Pharisee that is the pastor. Treat him with the compassion he will not give you, treat him in the Christian way that he is not treating you.

You walk on sacred ground wherever you tread. Be well, be at peace.

Love, Thera.

This is the question:

Is it more important to believe in a doctrine or to believe in God? They are not the same. God is life and does not depend on which religious doctrine you believe. I look at all religions as institutions designed to control people and prevent them from truly experiencing God.

Ask the Pastor, Who appointed him God? (judge not least you be judged.) How does he know what is right for you? He has a very myopic view of GOD. I don't know about you, but I have enough problems running my own life without people trying to tell me how to run it. People, I avoid, tend to say "God told me to tell you.... Don't listen, RUN!!!

Dorothy you are going though this trial within yourself to integrate who you are or see yourself as at your core with how you are presented and viewed to the world. You seek a self-consistency or integrity. Trying to be what some one else wants or says you have to be will only lead to your destruction.

Your brother's Pastor follows the outside-in approach. Where forces outside of who you are (doctrines, appearance, society etc.) determine what you are. This is the approach of most religions today. It is a hypocritical approach. They are the Pharisees and Sadducees of our time. Any doctrine driven religion takes an outside-in approach, the easy way, to not get to heaven. They only see the first level/order of a very deep subject- LIFE. Following rules and doctrines (Bible/Koran) will not get you to heaven, ever.

Truth comes from within, not out of a book. (See Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of needs and organizational dynamics.) You don't need to profess and appear pious etc., but you need to live and radiate your true inner self.

True follower's of God never focus on doctrines, but on people. They are honest with themselves. The driving force is to become who and what they are inside. This is an inside-out approach. What is on your outside agrees with what is on your inside, not the other way around. Since the Bible states 'God is Life', then God is a part of us, within every living thing. Then it means we need to live the way our part of God within directs. (No intentional harm to others.) Not follow some outside doctrine.

Dorothy, I wish I had your inner strength to come out as who you really are. What ever decision you make be true to your self. A true 'Believer in God' may not agree with you, but will respect and accept you as your true self, not try to change you to conform to their beliefs and doctrines. That is wrong and will lead to lots of pain and heartache for you. People, like that Pastor, do not realize how much pain and suffering they cause with their blind adherence to doctrine. It is not LOVE!

People radiating compassion, acceptance, Life, and love, are the true believers in God.

Good luck.

Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~

I am too

I just changed my facebook status tonight, though I've though that way for a while

hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna

I am too

I just changed my facebook status tonight, though I've though that way for a while

hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna