Camp Kumoni : 1

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After reading the story “The boy who wasn’t seen, and the Girl who couldn’t speak” by Rankan, I got to thinking about that storyline and decided to try out my own ideas. I hope that is okay.
 
“Why?” he looked into her incredible brown eyes. “Why are you doing this… Going to a summer camp with a guy from school who is considered the plague?”

“Because I owe you so much, Eric. You have been such a friend to me and helped me in so many ways.”

Now Eric was really confused. It must have been written all over his face, because Samantha continued.

“Do you remember my sister, Summer.”

Of course he did. Summer and he were in art class together and shared an interest in comic art. Summer committed suicide a year and a half ago. The whole school had to go through group counseling. Eric nodded.

“After Summer left us, I went through her stuff.” Samantha explained. “I found her diary and sketch pad. She wrote a lot about you and how talented you are. How you made her bad days a little bit better. How your drawings and your sense of humor helped her make it through each day. After I got closer to Summer through her stuff, I found you on line. I started reading your comics, and admiring your art. That is when I started to email you. I wanted to get to know you better. To see everything my sister saw in you. I just couldn’t do it at school, I’m not strong enough to deal with all the cliques and pressures. Anyway, I thought by spending the summer with you, I could get to know you better, like my sister did. Maybe through you, I can understand her better. Besides, it sounded like you needed a friend, and I felt it was the least I could do to help you out.”


 

sunlitforest.jpg

Camp Kumoni
By Anistasia Allread


Chapter 1
 

Camp Kumoni
Episode 1

“No, you may not take any electronics to camp with you, young man.” His mother’s voice took on an edge to it. “You are to get out in the sun, swim, play ball and make friends, not sulk in the cabin with your electronics.”

Eric rolled his eyes. His electronics were his friends. No one else at school would be caught seen eating lunch at the same table as him; because of this, he usually snuck into the audio-visual room to eat in peace. Eric tossed his gaming device aside, knowing that his mother would look to see if he would be leaving it behind. Instead, he slipped his laptop under the bottom lining of his suitcase and carefully tucked the cut edges underneath the sides, before piling his arrangement of shorts, T-shirts, socks and underwear on top of it.

“Here’s a pair of pants, Dear.” His mother handed him a pair of jeans. “Just in case It gets cold or something.”

“Yes, Mom.” Eric grumbled but took the pants and tossed them onto the bed.

“Did you pack your toothpaste and toothbrush?”

“Yes, Mom.” Eric held up the small shaving bag that held his toiletries.

“Is your sunscreen in there?”

“Mom. I’ve got it, Okay?” Eric snapped. He flipped his long black hair out of his face and looked hard at her. “I’m fifteen years old. I think I can pack my own suitcase.”

His mom sighed heavily, tuned away and stalked into the kitchen grumbling something about ungrateful teenagers.

Eric was mortified when he found out last week that his parents were planning on sending him away to camp for the summer, the entire summer. Not two weeks, or perhaps a month, but two and a half months of wedgies, and dunkings. Ten weeks of tripping, and name calling. How would that be fun?
He argued with his parents, debated with them, begging to allow him to remain home. He even offered to join the summer baseball league. Practice was only two hours a day with two games a week. He could suffer through that to be allowed some freedom to do what he wanted, play his video games, work on his on-line comic book, and read. Unfortunately, his parents had made up their minds and weren’t budging. Eric had even thought about running away from home, catching a bus to his grandma’s three states away. By the time he had arrived, they would be so relieved that he was alright, that they would allow him to either stay with her, or stay home.

That night, he turned to the only other person who might understand him, Winter. He logged on and worked on his comic while waiting for her to log in. His comic was based on an arch-hero named Raven who acted as a vigilante in the city. When Winter finally showed up, he asked Winter to join him in a chat room. It was funny. He had never actually met Winter, yet she seemed to be a soul-mate. She too had an interest in on-line comics, especially his. She also had a passing interest in computer games. The strange thing was that she went to his school. She was smart, and never gave enough details to allow him to figure out just who she was.

Phantom: My parents are ruining my life.
Winter: How so?
Phantom: They are sending me away to a summer camp.
Winter: What’s so bad about that?
Phantom: Summer camp is where you go to play sports, swim, canoe, play ball, and hike. I suck at all of those and will end up being treated like I do at school, teased for not being able to hit a ball. The object of every practical joke, and sitting by myself at meals while they all throw food at me. Only worse, since I will not have anyplace safe to retreat.
Winter: It can’t be all that bad
Phantom: True, sometimes it’s worse.
Winter: What camp are they sending you to?
Phantom: Camp Kumoni.
Winter: Is it an all boy’s camp or is it co-ed?
Phantom: Co-ed, I think. Which makes it all the worse.
Winter: because?
Phantom: because all the humiliation takes place in front of girls. You’ve seen how girls react to me when I walk down the hall at school. For all I know you are snickering behind my back too.
Winter: you know me better than that.
Phantom: I don’t know you at all, except through the keys and screen. You are too scared to be seen with me in public.
Winter: I told you, my life is a bit complicated
Phantom: Complicated? Girls have it so easy compared to guys.
Winter: you can’t be serious
Phantom: Try walking in my shoes.
Winter: Try walking in my heels
Phantom: Gladly……… At least then, I don’t have to worry about getting wedgies in gym or my food spat on at lunch or that other thing…..
Winter: Are you going to be home Later?
Phantom: Where else would I be?
Winter: I have a plan. I’ll have to get back to you tonight

Eric took a deep breath. He hated thinking about that other thing. He had made it through a week now without thinking about that horrible defining moment. He wiped the tears from his eyes. “No, I won’t cry about it anymore.” He told himself.

Eric went back to his comic strip. He was pretty proud of his site. It was getting more and more hits each month as word spread of his work. He was currently working on a storyline in which Raven was about to teach the high school football captain a lesson in humility.

Winter: Phantom are you still on?
Phantom: Where else?
Winter: I found a way you can go to camp and still have fun.
Phantom: lol right
Winter: I spoke to my parents and they are going to send me to camp Kumoni too.
Phantom: What?
Winter: I’ll be there with you
Phantom: So you can ignore me like at school? Or continue watching me being humiliated?
Winter: I won’t ignore you like at school, but there’s more…
Phantom: What?
Winter: Were you serious about walking in my heels?
Phantom: I don’t understand
Winter: answer the ?
Phantom: you want me to wear your shoes? What did you do?
Winter: Would you wear my shoes if you wouldn’t get picked on?
Phantom: Sure… I guess… why?
Winter: I hacked the camps computer
Phantom: why?
Winter: I changed your personal information
Phantom: What? Why? Why would you do that?
Winter: You are now Erika Martinez, a girl who will be in my cabin.
There was a long pause
Winter: Phantom?
Phantom: you enrolled me as a girl?
Winter: Yes
Phantom: Why would you do that? How is that to keep me from being humiliated? Send me the link so I can hack in and change it back.
Winter: I can’t, they caught me in there and kicked me out. They shut down the site to tighten security.
Another long pause
Winter: Phantom?
Phantom: WTF! why did you do that?
Winter: Think Phantom, you said you would walk in my shoes to keep from being humiliated. you said yourself that girls have it easier. While I don’t agree with you. I think you could have more fun at camp as a girl. And I would be there to help out.
Phantom: How in the hell am I going to be able to be a girl.
Winter: Come now Phantom. You aren’t the most masculine of guys. You are what? 5 foot 5? And weigh 110 lbs?
Phantom: 120, So?
Winter: You have hair that most girls in school would envy and you don’t have much in the way of a beard.
Phantom: I have a dick and balls, remember?
Winter: Easily hidden
Phantom: I don’t have breasts
Winter: Neither do a lot of girls your age.
Phantom: I thought you were my friend
Winter: I am, Phantom. Trust me, I am.
Phantom: The last time I was told that, I was stripped to my underwear and duct taped to the flag pole.
Winter: They got punished
Phantom: 3 days in detention was not a punishment. They should have been kicked off the football team.
Winter: And sacrifice the entire season?
Phantom: Better that than my what little dignity I had left. I need to go. I have to figure out how to fix this.

Eric attempted to hack into the camp’s website on several occasions, but security was too tight. He tried back doors, front doors. Common pass words. Everything he could think of. Nothing seemed to work.

Winter tried to talk to him over the next few days but he ignored her pleas to speak with him.

A girl. Him a girl at a summer camp, how preposterous. As preposterous as it sounded, he did find himself looking in the mirror at himself, wondering what kind of girl he would make. Catching himself and his train of thought, he stormed out of the bathroom and fumed a bit.

There were only three days left. Three days before he would be going to camp and be humiliated for being set up in a girl’s cabin, and then embarrassed over the course of the two months as he was barraged with insults. Called a sissy, teased about his hair.

They would probably call him a faggot or fag-hag. Who knows what else they would call him or do to him? If anyone at school were to find out…… wait a minute no one at school would find out, because he wasn’t going to do it. How could he even get into that mind set? He could just miss the bus and hide out for a few hours until it was too late for his parents to do anything.

Eric logged on to check on his site. An email was waiting in his box from someone calling themselves Phoenix. Probably another fan. He opened it and was surprised by its contents.


Hello Erika,
Hi campers, my name is ‘Phoenix’ and I will be your cabin counselor this summer. I am very excited to meet you in a few days. I know that you will have lots of fun at Camp Kumoni. Some of the things to look forward to are swimming, rock climbing, campfires, Dancing, pillow fights, pajama parties, hiking, and horseback riding, just to name a few.

When you arrive here at Camp Kumoni, just head over to Columbine cabin which is near the lake.

Just a few reminders. Electronic devises are not allowed i.e. gameboys, ipods, stereos etc… This includes cell phones. Camp Kumoni is in a service hole anyway. Make sure to bring sunscreen, any medications that you need to take as well as your feminine hygiene supplies. There will be a commissary in the camp. But the prices are high. Every other week you will be allowed to go into town to use the Laundromat. Last but not least, bring your smile and excitement. I can’t wait to meet you.

Until then,

Phoenix

Eric groaned. They were already expecting Erika Martinez to be there, and there were to be no electronics? He actually cringed at the mention of feminine hygiene supplies. He had to find a way out of this. He went down stairs where his mother was catching up on her soaps.

“Mom, I really don’t think going to this camp is such a great idea.”

“Eric, don’t you think you are over reacting just a bit? It’s summer camp. Physical activity, sunshine and fresh air will do you good.”

“But mom. I don’t think I’m going to fit in. I’m going to get picked on like I do everywhere else.” Eric protested.

“Your problem, Eric, is that you need to learn to get along with others, to make friends.” His mom didn’t even look up from the T.V.

“But Mom… two and a half months?”

“Your father and I have made up our minds, young man, you are going. And that is final.”

There was no use. He had seen his parents like this before. Eric went back upstairs. Maybe he could still find a way of escaping to his Grandmothers. He went to a travel site to check out bus tickets.

Winter: Phantom?
Phantom: What do you want now?
Winter: Did you get the email from Phoenix?
Phantom: Yeah, so?
Winter: Doesn’t it sound like fun?
Phantom: Being a girl for 2 1/2 months in a cabin having pajama parties? Are you Serious?
Winter: Phantom, you need to look at this differently. You are spending the summer in a cabin with girls. Isn’t that every guy’s dream?
Phantom: There are a few problems. 1) I’m a guy. 2) They will find out that I’m a guy.
Winter: I am going to help you out with being a girl. Besides, if it doesn’t work and they find out, they’ll send you home, which is where you want to be in the 1st place.

There was a pause as Eric contemplated that fact that he would most likely be sent home, which would then prove to his parents that he really didn’t fit in.

Winter: Phantom?
Phantom: What?
Winter: What are you doing this afternoon?
Phantom: Trying to figure out how to ‘miss’ the camp bus and get on one to my grandmothers.
Winter: Would you finally like to meet me? I’ll prove to you that you can pull off being a girl.
Phantom: So you’ll be seen with me in public?
Winter: I’ll meet you at Thorton park by the duck pond.
Phantom: That’s not exactly public.
Winter: You are just going to have to trust me meet me in 20 minutes.
Phantom: Fine, but if this is a prank, you and your friends will regret it.

Eric logged off, grabbed his skateboard and scampered down stairs.

“Where are you going, Eric?” His mom looked up from her soap.

“To the park. I want to enjoy what freedom I have left.” He had a lot to think about. He was about to meet Winter. He had to find out who she really was and if he could trust her. He had to think about what she wanted him to do. He had to think about playing the part of a girl for two plus months. He had to think about surviving camp.

School having let out two weeks ago, the park was full of parents taking their kids to the park to burn off the excitement and energy of summer without destroying their houses. Eric skated his way along the main path which meandered through the large park. He passed tennis courts, basketball courts. Climbing walls, the skate park baseball fields and entered a lightly wooded part of the park. The shade of the trees was almost comforting compared to the heat of the sun. Ahead the silvery blue of the duck pond could be seen through the trees. At night, the duck pond served as one of the few places that kids in the high school parked. During the day however, a few mothers with their young children laughed and squealed as they threw pieces of bread to the waterfowl who make this their home year-round.

Eric checked the time on his cell phone. He was five minutes early. He went over to one of the benches out of the way, hoping that he wasn’t being set up for another prank.

“Phantom?” a soft female voice called from behind him.

Eric turned around to see someone he knew approaching him a bit nervously.

“Samantha?” he greeted with a shaky voice. “Samantha Thompson, are you…… are you Winter?”

Samantha’s beautiful lips pulled back to reveal perfect teeth in a nervous smile. She nodded her head slightly.

Eric looked quickly around searching for a trap. Samantha Thompson was on the school’s cheer squad and dated one of the school’s best football players.

“No one knows I’m here.” Samantha moved closer to Eric.

A light breeze moved her nearly white, blonde hair, causing it to shimmer like precious metal in the sun. The breeze also brought the light scent of her sweet perfume. She was a vision that Eric had occasionally dreamed about seeing.

“I’m glad you came to meet me.” Her soft voice sent a shiver charging across his skin.

“I’m still in shock that you, are Winter.” Eric shook his head, his dark hair veiling his face.

“Can you understand why I haven’t approached you at school?” She asked timidly.

Eric nodded. It would have been disastrous for her reputation if she was seen within ten feet of him.

“Will you trust me, Eric?”

Eric thought for a few moments. He looked down at the ground by his shoes then looked up into her beautiful face. “I have a few questions first.”

“Sure, what are they?” Samantha asked sitting down next to him on the bench.

“Why?” he looked into her incredible brown eyes. “Why are you doing this… Going to a summer camp with a guy from school who is considered the plague?”

“Because I owe you so much, Eric. You have been such a friend to me and helped me in so many ways.”

Now Eric was really confused. It must have been written all over his face, because Samantha continued.

“Do you remember my sister, Summer.”

Of course, he did. Summer and he were in art class together and shared an interest in comic art. Summer committed suicide a year and a half ago. The whole school had to go through group counseling. Eric nodded.

“After Summer left us, I went through her stuff.” Samantha explained. “I found her diary and sketch pad. She wrote a lot about you and how talented you are. How you made her bad days a little bit better. How your drawings and your sense of humor helped her make it through each day. After I got closer to Summer through her stuff, I found you on line. I started reading your comics, and admiring your art. That is when I started to email you. I wanted to get to know you better. To see everything my sister saw in you. I just couldn’t do it at school, I’m not strong enough to deal with all the clicks and pressures. Anyway, I thought by spending the summer with you, I could get to know you better, like my sister did. Maybe through you, I can understand her better. Besides, it sounded like you needed a friend, and I felt it was the least I could do to help you out.”

Silence fell between them. The trees nearby creaked as they swayed in the wind. The ducks made a soft ruckus as they fought over bread. Eric’s heart ached for his friend. She truly, was one of the few people who he could consider a friend. But this was crazy.

“So you are going to help me out by making me into a girl?” Eric questioned. “How does that make any sense?”

“That was kind of an afterthought. You are right about being a guy in some ways. If you aren’t athletic, or good looking, you are a nobody. However, girls have it hard too but by different standards. You said you would walk in my shoes if it would keep the pranks at bay. I just took the initiative.”

“You know we both could get into trouble for this.” Eric dragged his hair out of his face.

“Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“Not so fast, Samantha. How in the world do you plan on making me pass for a girl?”

“For that, You’re going to have to come to my house.” Samantha’s hands shot out and captured Eric’s sending a warmth flooding through him. She pulled him to his feet and started walking with him down a different path. Literally as well as figuratively.


 
End of Chapter One

 
End of Chapter One

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The Games Afoot

Now To See How Much Of A Girl He Can Be

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

The Foot's Gamey

I think this one is a bit easier to read than the original
Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Original story by Rankan

Hello,
I haven't read your story yet, but it looks promissing. I just wanted to let you know that the story "The boy who wasn’t seen, and the Girl who couldn’t speak" was written by Rankan, and I think Erin just did the front page illustration.
Anyway, back to the story which is already in progress.
Love,Jo

What is Mrs. Freud Wearing?

This is a promising beginning, but there are a few errors that may have simply flown under the spellcheck, or they may be Freudian slips. At any rate, the errors are not only harmless, but also entertaining. My "fiend" rather than my "friend" is one example, but the best is, "I just took the imitative." Yes, and our protagonist will, too.

I'm looking forward to seeing how Sam gets Eric to keep taking the imitative, and how good Eric gets at it. Could this lead to a situation in which Erika will have to stay on after the summer, or lose Sam and face expulsion?

This is good stuff, please keep it comig.

rg

errors

Thank you for your editing abilities. 10 pages and having only 2 errors that slipped through spellcheck? I'd say that's pretty good.
I corrected the errors and changed the credit to Rankan. Thanks.
A.A.

Really good so far

I just finished reading the first chapter and I think it looks really promissing. I noticed that chapter two has already been uploaded, so I will get to that a little later. I hope that you will have the time and the inspiration to complete this series, since Rankan never finished “The boy who wasn’t seen, and the Girl who couldn’t speak”. At least I never found any more chapters than those that were posted on this site.
Love, Jo

Camp Kumoni

Thank you Jo,

I too hope that I can finish this series. I tend to get super involved with story development, then get bored with it and loose interest. I am hoping however to keep this series going, by keeping it's length somewhat to a minimum. (compared to past works)
gotta get back to writing.

Thanks
A.A.

I like it up

to now, I like it much!

Promising start, really promising. Easy flowing dialogue. I did wonder about the names, and Eric having no clue, a bit, but then again, hindsight is a beautiful thing.
Mystery girl said she's on the same school, knows him well, calls herself Winter and had a sister called Summer who was a dear friend of Eric.. Shouldn't Eric have had an inkling or so?
Oh well, just me being all Sherlocky here, with the plot spread out like yesterdays paper.

I also like it that there's breathing a healthy amount of relativity through the dialogue, it's not utterly polarized up to here in that all to often "Me Jane, you Charlene!" kind of way.

But please keep writing, thank you. Please :)
Jo-Anne

[Edit: 25 mins+ ] * LOL, I just saw what my comment title looked like in the sidebar... Ooops. *

being too 'Sherlocky'

Jo-Anne
I too would pick up that play on names, but I have noticed that there are a lot of people out there who don't pick up on that kind of thing. My roommate won't watch shows like 'Lost' with me anymore becuase I spoil all of the plot twists.
Remember, Eric is an outcast at school, no one likes him, a good friend committed suicide. An unknown person on the web calling themselves 'Winter' is a bit vague for MOST real world people.

Sherlocky? Now That You Mentioned It

Summer, the suicide and Winter can both be the same person. After the attempt,[the body was lost by staff] Summer's personality can now have been "Mirrored" into an opposite one

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

WTF??

Frank's picture

The people in the story KNEW the sister. And our hero KNEW both girls...people who are written by an authoress as dead (or having been killed in another case) are DEAD!!

Hugs

Frank

Alexis, True,But You Forget One Thing

The author can change her mind. In fact, we discussed my idea about Summer and Winter. Let's see what she says

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I didn't know the author had been asking for ideas

Frank's picture

If you have established characters, even one being dead, then suddenly changing that would ruin what has already been written. We have the main guy, his friend who killed herself, and now his new friend the sister of the deceased. If these parameters magically changed going forward so there wasn't a sister or they are the same person or somesuch, I'd quickly lose interest going forward from that point.

The story has been GREAT just the way it is so far, and I don't think the writer needs any unsolicited outside help IMHO.


Huggles!!

Alexis

Hugs

Frank

Overlooking something that the real Holmes would never

Eric didn't know about the connection to Summer until chapter two. Which means the friend online (Winter) had no connection.

Eric is admittedly a geek, and will likely assume anyone he gets along with online will be one, as well. "Winter" is the name of an established canon character in the Star Wars universe (Leia's lady-in-waiting, best friend, and bodyguard), and Star Wars is a veritable colossus of geekery. Why would he assume, "Hey, wait... I bet Winter, my online geeky friend, is related to Summer, my real life friend that tragically killed herself! Winter must be Summer's sister! It's all so clear to me!" when it is considerably more likely that he would assume simply that the Winter with whom he met online was secretly a Star Wars nut, that had to play the part of a 'normal' girl at school and that is why she refused to speak to him there. Or that "Winter" could have been in reference to at least 50 other things of which I can think.

Not only is it a stretch, but this is a 15 year old we're talking about. Not exactly the most well-known to be up on logical fallacies. Even Mary Russell at 15 was laughable.
Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Oh..?

It's apparent he knew quite well Summer was a sister to Samantha. Then comes along -online- a new friend, who is a girl, who is on the same school, and calls herself Winter. Of course he doesn't jump to the conclusion that Winter _should_ be none other but the sister of Summer. It's not elementary, doh. But, what if ?

Sure he is a geek, artsy and computer literate, but to the best of my knowledge the internet is littered with all kinds of people, non-geeks far outnumber the avid geekly ones. A fact well known by geeks, bemoaned even, so why would he assume Winter must be geek also? I think not.

Then there is, yes, 50 ways to leave your lo... uhh, no that's another one, uhmm. . yes, 50 other things possible. And I don't object, yes, there are a l o t of other possibilities. But, I merely asked: Didn't he have an inkling? Didn't he _ever_ wonder IF Winter could be coming after Summer? He *is* lonely at school, shun by his peers, this boy could well use a friend. He must have reviewed quite likely the whole of the female population at school. But never mind.

Then about him only being 15 years and logical fallacies *I had to look it up* What's logic got to do with it? Didn't you ever hear of intuition? Fallacies? Winter isn't being deceptive, she's only been secretive. As far as we know, that is. I've read chapter 2, and she looks to be trustworthy, but it could be all a very elaborate prank. It could.. But I expect, feel, and hope not.

Lastly, I must warn to not underestimate 15 yr olds. Just because they haven't bumped their nose often enough, doesn't mean they are logically impaired. There is intelligence and there is knowledge.

Now, I hope you don't take this all to serious or personal Edeyn, it's only I enjoyed discussing this chapter a bit, and I like the hubbub it has incited. The story has nice potential, and if things keep giving a little heat now and then, I think it will enrich the whole experience.

Kind regards,
Jo-Anne

Ah, but Ms Watson...

You said, "... but to the best of my knowledge the internet is littered with all kinds of people, non-geeks far outnumber the avid geekly ones," and that's true. However, geeks gravitate toward each other and would tend to believe that anyone they are friends with, MUST be a geek, too!

Next paragraph, you make the point for me... he doesn't equate Winter with his friend, Summer, because he IS lonely at school. He wouldn't associate Winter with Summer, and by the time Winter is a friend and he's learning a bit about her, the connection to Eric is already there and there's no reason to associate it. Remember, also, the age. They're 15 now. Summer left the picture and Winter entered it more than a year prior. 14 year olds don't think in such connected ways.

The logical fallacies argument was due to the thread being about being 'Sherlock-y' -- and Holmes would never have made an assumption of any kind, nor follow a lead up because of something as base as intuition. The very idea is shocking.

Exactly. Intelligence is not the same as knowledge or wisdom. 14 and 15 year old minds simply don't think of all the contingcies that could be occurring behind the scenes, and tend to take things at face value. Even the intelligent ones. If they're told something, they tend to believe it. If they go to find out something, they don't look beyond the first answer to assure themselves that it's the FINAL ANSWER.

As for taking things too seriously, I sincerely hope I've not developed that reputation. I simply love to debate. ~.^
Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Oh but dear Edeyn,

You as much as state for a fact geeks gravitate toward each other and would tend to believe that anyone they are friends with, MUST be a geek, too! and I'd like to quote mr. Holmes here “There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact

There is no such thing as 'making your point', your reasoning is flawed; to quote again: “It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has all the evidence. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.” It is defendable to reason Eric could've reviewed the whole female population, and should he have used “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” he could have reached the conclusion on his own. But, Eric hasn't been accused of following any Sherlockian ways, so why should he have concluded as such? He could've wondered though, based on some illogical twist of brilliance, or short-circuiting of the brain, intuition even.

I never presented any perception of a connection between Winter and Summer as an undisputed fact, I must emphasize again it was me wondering about Eric never having had an inkling.

In my opinion you keep underestimating 15 yr olds. And now 14 yr olds too. If you keep it up, I'll concede when we reach somewhere about 6 or 7. :)

You mixed up a little with your two posts when first you say : Not only is it a stretch, but this is a 15 year old we're talking about. Not exactly the most well-known to be up on logical fallacies. and next post The logical fallacies argument was due to the thread being about being 'Sherlock-y'.

I never said Eric was Sherlocky, I ironically hinted my own scribblings and comment while asking out loud whether Eric never had an idea, while it seemed so obvious.. In hindsight.

Kind regards,
Jo-Anne

Too much Sherlock here

WillowD's picture

I am reminded of The Princess Bride where the hero is trying to figure out which bottle the really short villain poisoned. Too many obscure facts and too many assumptions. I just sat back and waited to see if the hero died or not. Of course, I made an assumption as well, namely that he wouldn't die because the is the hero and the film was nowhere near the end.

I think I will just sit back and start reading chapter 2. Which is, woo hoo, followed by a good 60 more chapters.

Very promising start

The start of this story is very nice and original. It's even believable if you ignore the fact that Eric could have changed his "female status" easily by replying to the mail. After all, perhaps he was curious enough to try the 'crazy' plan.

Hugs,

Kimby

Hugs,

Kimby

Seems great

The story seems great, unfortunately, I can't quite read fluently the “SMS text” as we call in French, that is all those shortened words. Like B instead of be, R U instead of Are you. And it took some time for me to be able to read L8r as later. I thought I wouldn't be able to read it at all.

But, this is just a minor defect from my point of view, apart from that, the story is great! Thanks for sharing it with us.

Here I am

at Chapter One. It could very well be everyone else has already read this very interesting story. Me I waited until it was finished so I could read it at my own speed without having to wait for each chapter to be posted. Let me tell you that was not as easy as it sounds given all the praise this story had garnered.
After reading this, I have to say all the hype seems like it was well worth it. Well Done Anistasia!

Hugs

grover

Interesting

To see if this leads to transitioning.

hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna

I breaks my hart that some

Erikad1978's picture

I breaks my hart that some teens die so young and how hard it is for those left behind . Love the story so far keep up the good work

his parents are awful

they are the kind of parents who would be "shocked" when their kid commits suicide, when their neglect and lack of care is a major cause of the kid's problems.

DogSig.png

This is one of my fav stories!

I'm really looking forward to reading it again. Anistasia, if you're still reading comments to your stories, I'd just like to say, thank you for sharing your wonderful talent! :)