TopShelf Blogs

Stonewall to campaign on behalf of Trans people

Gosh, they've remembered the T in LGBT. I suppose this is a good thing as they have lots of experience and expertise in campaigning for equality. At the same time, I've never been happy with including the T with the others, as I see my previous transsexualism (now cured via surgery and Gender Recognition Act) as relating to my gender identity not sexual orientation - precisely the matter which kept Stonewall and transgender apart previously.

A Surprising Amount Of Response

My second Kingston Academy Shorts has gotten a LOT more user response, and a lot more quickly, than the first one did!

So, I'd like to know: what about Ruby's short story (both before and after the rather important fixes) appealed to readers more than Jules' little mini-adventure?

Are there any characters in particular you'd like to see shorts for in the future, or other PFH mini-stories you think would be fun?

And, lastly: how many other people want to see the next chapter of Angharad's Princess For Hire: The British Kid? Show of hands?

*raises hand*

What have you been reading lately?

I’ve been working my way through Robert McCammon’s 80’s output. McCammon started out as a go-for-broke gore and guts and more gore horror guy. But what sets his work apart from the shock-'n’-splatter books that dominated the post-King spookhouse-lit scene is heart. Lots of it. There’s a streak of feel-good, almost cornball, wholesomeness that runs through his fiction, which, far from sticking out like a sore thumb, feels absolutely appropriate in the context of the heightened conflicts between good and evil he often writes about.

The Author's Mantra


I saw a comment to a comic that sounded like a line from the Movie Dune,

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion." - The Programmer's Mantra also found in WikiQuotes.

This could also be the Author's mantra

If female reproductive organs could be created for MtFs.

It is something that I imagine many transwomen would welcome, but even if such was possible, there is the problem with producing eggs.

I'm working on a story that sees MtF characters given fully functioning female reproductive organs, but with their genetic make up, there is a problem concerning their Y-chromosomes. Eggs always contain X-chromosomes, for reasons I shouldn't have to explain.

If there was a way for the created organs to overlook the Y-chromosome, and only ever use the single X-chromosome, then that would be one answer.

regarding my surgery - I should have .....


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If I'd have known then what I know now, I'd have just had them take out the spare ... part. Sore, sore, sore, and greatly swollen. And sore. Did I say sore? A partial orchidectomy wouldn't have left anything to be sore. or swollen. and it was a spare. Damn. At least, on the bright side, it wasn't a tumor.

At least I've got a couple more days of decent pain meds. sigh.

50 Shades of Grey

For those of you who read the books. It looks like this first movie follows book one faithfully. I see all sorts of snotty reviews but the movie is good, I think it appeals to me because of my own very twisted nature. I would want to be Anastasia and would be happy about some limited spanking, though going overboard not so much.

Welcome to my world.

I am not putting this on my FB.


I'm kinda nervous


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I am a little nervous about going to the Valentine's day dinner and dance at my church tonight. I haven't been to anything like this since I began my transition, and I am not a social butterfly in any case, so I'm a little worried about how I'll do, even if most of the people there will know me.

Ah, well.

Today would be a great day to read the Valentines contests.

Over the last few years given the day right?
I mean stories like "The Parchment" And "Love and Old Books." are just sitting there right?
Hint Hint :)

*Great Big Snuggly Hugs*

Submissions for February's TG Mixed Tape Anthology due on the 19th. (Do you have it in you to write 500 words in 5 days?)

The Mixed Tapes are a monthly publication that showcases work from a wide variety of authors in our fictional niche. They mostly consist of short, short stories – some high minded, some silly, some erotic, and some something in-between – but have also included essays and interviews with established writers like Morpheus, Zapper and Dorothy Colleen and exiting new voices like Minikisa.

If you would like to be a part of February's Tape, read on...

Maid Update

Hi all,

Some weeks ago I posted about a hypothetical situation where someone hired a me to be his maid servant who will fulfill his needs and 'needs' in exchange for money and all kinds of surgeries.

So I posted an ad online about "a tg maid looking for work" and *cough* I got hundreds of offers despite me already mentioning that I'm pre op. Some of these people gave extravagant offers, some just wanting to jerk off but some seemed really genuinely serious about it. Most of them offered to pay for my hormone therapy and surgery.

Just wondering if MtF can get pregnant...

Getting information for my stories, I came upon MtF pregnancy which might happen sooner. Another article was about a Chinese do or implanting an egg in a man, so I wonder if in 10 to 15 years from now a MtF will be able to be a mom... I hope so...


Having gender Identity issues. Seeking help


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These last couple of weeks my gender identity has been all over the place. One moment I am completely convinced I am male and any TG feeling is just a flight of fancy (or perhaps reading too much BC), the next moment I am absolutely certain that if I would awake a woman the next day it would be 45 years too late.

I could sure use some helpful pointers to help me figure out what it is that I am.

Frozen in the northeast


For the past four days work has taken me to the New England states. And during that entire time the temperature never got above the mid-twenties. I must have become a real wimp over the last few years living in the South. The next time I head north during the winter months I’m buying heavy weight winter tights, turtle neck leotards, and thermal over the knee socks or anything that will keep you warm. (Burr!) The truly sad thing is I no sooner get home to South Carolina than an artic freeze is pushing its way south. Can’t a sister get a break?!

Freezing in South Carolina

Broadband issues

I'm having broadband problems again as my fibre went down sometime last night pb (post Bike). I've spent time today, after teaching my over 50s IT class, trying to fault find but right now have no outside world connection using that route although my internal network is still up. That much is useful as my scribblings are not stored on the laptop that I use for writing, all my work is stored on the big beastie (12Tb of storage).

Hiding our healing


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I've had a belated realization regarding healing and now feel somewhat foolish for not realizing it before.

I have a very close friend who has gone on a self righteous rant about "50 Shades of Grey". I doubt that she has read the books or intends to see the movie. I have read the books and plan to see the movie but do not intend to tell her that.

First Sign of Spring


As of February 10th Boston (Mass) has received just over six feet of snow for the season with a storm this weekend expected to add another 12 inches.

Despite this, there has been a first indication of Spring. The equipment truck for the Boston Red Sox (Major League Baseball) is being loaded for the trip to Florida to start Spring training.

leg update


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So I have had my MRI and while I did tear the hamstring, it isn't bad. I'm off of work for at least a month from yesterday. I'll try and get to writing while I have free time.

Not sure how the doc put it but it was a tear, but the muscle didn't retract. So some leg therapy and I'll be good to go

Shortcuts Is Now a Complete Story

My Shortcuts story is done. I just posted the last chapter. For those of you who prefer to read complete stories, please give it a chance.

This will be my last long story here. I'm moving on. I plan on joining a writing group in the hopes of eventually publishing the old-fashioned way - on paper. I might still post a short story once in a blue moon if the mood hits me.


Predestination is an Australian movie released in 2014, starring Ethan Hawke and Sarah Snook. It's based on the Robert Heinlein short story 'All You Zombies'.

The film received critical acclaim for Snook's outstanding portrayal of a character who at first appears to be a woman transitioning to male, but her story is much, much stranger than that.

Although the version here isn't of the very highest quality, it's certainly watchable.

Computers - aaargh!

I hate these bloody things, even more after wasting two hours of my life trying to get my old puter, which I keep for my role as cycling club secretary, to do something straightforward like send an email. Needless to say, it's now too late to start scribbling Bike, which means I'll have an extra few hours for my remaining brain cell to ferment further plot twists.

Sorry, but I've had my fill of electronic things tonight.


read an interesting book

I just finished a very interesting book called "Trans-Sister Radio" by Chris Bohjalian. Its the story of a single mother and teacher who falls in love with a man only to discover he's transitioning to female, and the fallout that situation causes for her, her daughter, her job, and her ex-husband who decides to bring their story to radio. Its not a perfect book - it spends a little more time talking about the surgery than I was comfortable with, but its a very interesting bit of fiction, especially by a cis writer. I recommend it.

Pickles: The Game

So, a few of you might remember my Pickles choose-your-own-adventure story I started here a few years back. I still think it was a really cool idea, but it never worked out QUITE the way I wanted it to, and eventually just got kinda ridiculous and dragged down by my renowned poor dedication to a regular posting schedule.

Well, I've figured out how to use TWINE.

follow up to Florida blog


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Florida Lawmaker Says Using Restroom Is A Choice For Transgender People

this is his answer to Buzzfeed news these people are just morons , using a bathroom is not a choice it is a body function needed by most people

Mike and Ashley, Some Afterthoughts

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the great response to an old story converted to a modern world. My previous stories have never received the response that this one has. I know my stuff isn't main line, but I'm pretty happy with what I've done over the last ten years or so. Anyway thank you so much. I feel encouraged to write a bit more before I sink into senility.

The last line to Chapter 7, was very deliberate. In fact, I researched it to make sure I had it correct. I was surprised that no one pinged on it. Okay, where did it come from?

I'm waiting.

Homophobic Florida


A state representative from the Miami area is writing a bill that would prohibit a transgender person from using the restroom of the gender that they are . This means a person would have to use the restroom of there birth gender . A transgender woman would have to use the men's room , how would that go over a lady in a dress going into the men's room . I wonder how would even enforce a law like that ?
Restroom police ? would the pervert be looking under the dress to see the privates .
This is just plain crazy , only in the warped minds of hate can this happen.

got some bad news about my ex


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Well, things have managed to get worse for Sharon. She fell a while back, but yesterday she ended up finding out she had herniated a disk in her back during the fall. And since she is still recovering from surgery, it means her schedule for going back to work has been pushed back.

I just hope she doesn't take out her frustrations on Samantha ...

Murder of 'Samba Queen' in Brazil.

According to the Observer a trans samba dancer was murdered in Rio, they also suggest the crime might be a hate killing as they have a pretty awful record with a trans, gay or bi person being murdered every 28 hours.


It looks like I'm back in business with my site, why do software writers think we need more complex stuff to do simple tasks?

As regards logging in here at BC I'm no further along, as I've deleted my original links etc and started from scratch I can't see that theres anything else I can do? Surely I'm not the only one having these issues which only started after the last BC upgrade?


I've never been good with relationships. I think a lot of that comes from my childhood. I watched my parents go though a messy divorce. Mom and grandma spent a lot of effort on mind games to turn me against my dad. Dad got remarried to the wicked bitch of the south. then divorced and eventually married for the third time(I like this one). I watched my sister go though countless boyfriends in high school and all the drama that entailed. She got married, had a kid then got divorced. she is now getting ready to get married for the second time.

Ghost Inside My Child


Amazingly when I read someone and tell them about their life or lives before the present one they are trying out, it is all familiar to them. Usually they bring some of their past to the present without knowing why they feel a certain way, act a certain way, or why knowledge of different aspects of a job comes naturally to them. And yes most everyone tries out a different gender as they go through one life after another. I only read two different people that never changed from boy to girl or girl to boy. That one seems to be the hardest part for some to accept.

Rusty. Feb 1995 to Feb 2015


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Our long suffering cat was euthanized at aprox 9:45am CST today, Saturday Feb 7th.

He and his late littermate Cally were two Wisconsin Humane Society kittens from the old location behind WTMJ tv and radio near Esterbrook Park in Milwaukee WI.

Best estimate were he was born Feb 08th 1995. But we will call him 20 years old.

He will be cremated and his ashes scatted over his sisters grave by a peony in our back yard.

Transgender Transition Taking Place


A friend pointed me toward Bruce Jenner who is making the news as she is switching her nouns from him to her. I had already been reading stories of the ongoing event and most of them are biased against Ms. Jenner. I had hoped with time and knowledge we were putting a lot of that behind us.

Computer wiz


Computer development is going so fast that it is like totally gee wiz to me. And playing with them is like a total rush, though I did not usually give a ...
I'm not talking cost effectiveness here, just talking about what a novice can do, and it is like totally fun. So, I know some of you will think what I am saying is stupid, but please don't treat me like your irritating little sister.

Database problem


We had a small database problem this morning which has been cleared up. We will be working on a permanent solution to this later this month with adding two more database servers. If you had problems posting this morning it was likely due to the database timing out while trying to update tables.

Let us know via email, PM, or status message if you are still having problems.


Sex Change on ID in British Columbia and the Yukon, Canada


With this for, filled by your GP, you can get all your ID changed to show the gender you wish.

With this SECOND form added you can get your bc medical card changed.

With both forms, and application for new Drivers license / BCID / BC Services card(s) completed, you only need to send a letter to ICBC head office requesting they amend all your drivers records to remove old names.

BBC to start filming a trans comedy

The BBC is to begin filming a new comedy with the female lead being played by a Rebecca Root an actress who is/was transsexual playing a transwoman, something of a first, according to the Guardian. So well done the Beeb.

had a counseling session at the Pride Center


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Well, yesterday, I was able to get a counseling session at the Edmonton Pride center, and I found it very helpful. I talked with the counselor about my current stress, my past, my faith, and my transition. Best of all she seems really well versed in trauma and how it impacts a person. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to see her, but I'm going to do everything I can to get better.


So okay there's a new chapter up here, I am however still having log in issues here on BC and can't upload new stuff to either.

I've tried everything people have suggested without success so it looks like its end of the line for me posting stuff for free - i'll give it till the end of the month but after that I'm not wasting any more of my precious time on this planet trying to fix stuff. Doesn't mean I stop writing but the couple of hours I spend doing site updates will be better spent doing other things.


You've done a disservice to a good talent !!!

When I first began to read "Whisper", I thought it was well written, and had some uniqueness to it. The language in the story sounded like a teen age kid, not some English professor.

Some where along the line I lost track of the story, perhaps when she went to Whateley. I respect the author that originally came up with the 'verse but since then so many have just dumped their protagonists there and gave up on the story. Now when it is mentioned I usually just stop reading it because I do not want to think of Whateley to be a place where good characters disappear.

Late Posting Tonight

Had a long day and an overnight in Mississippi last night. I was able to post on time last night, but am a bit late tonight. Should be on schedule for posting tomorrow and a weekend ending. Thank you everyone for reading. The reception for this story has been beyond my expectations.

Fingers crossed please.


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I found a lump somewhere where it's not supposed to be - enough to worry about testicular cancer. Initial screening indicates that it's most likely NOT cancer, but a cyst. Because of its position, it's been causing significant pain, so tomorrow I go under the knife to get it removed (and biopsied if necessary).

I'm always nervous about full anesthesia; complications can always happen. So if you have a moment tomorrow morning, please cross your fingers or send a wish my way.

hurt my leg somehow

Soi managed to tear the hamstring in my left leg on Monday, last week, not this. Thinking nothing of the pain, for which I have a high tolerance for I went on with life as normal, including 4 days of work, in which I outworked those half my age. Went to a walk in clinic yesterday and got told I tore it, so I took my first day off of work in 9 years (counting the other job) and caught up on my sleeping was gonna write, but computer chair is not comfortable

WL try to get some stuff out soon, since I may be off work for a few days

Donations for February


We're asking for more this month, $3000, because we are just not quite making all our payments on the debts owed by the site and the extra money is coming from me.

We're also developing at least one other site for the BCTS community and we have someone helping us with the expenses for that. More news on that development later in the month.

Many thanks to everyone who makes a gift to keep BC working.

Hugs to all,
Erin, Piper, Cat, Katie, Sephrena and all the volunteers

I'm terribly sorry


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Since I started publishing on Big Closet, I have managed to produce at least one piece every month with one exception.

However, that streak is in jeopardy now.

The piece I was working on based on a nightmare is too triggering for me right now, and the other story I had started, "Solomon's test" has its own problems. Mainly that I am afraid it might be too close to the current story "Shortcuts", insofar as both stories are about a bet between cosmic forces and a person getting super powers.

Sweat and Tears

I have decided to put this onto Kindle, with some edits and a copious afterword. The cover will take time to prepare, and it will be, well, relevant. The book is atypical of my stuff in one way, but in its emphasis on friendship, family and love, it is absolutely one of mine.

I worried a bit about being sued by the estate of a certain Dr Money, so I took legal advice. ESAD.

Not a Doctor


I see so many emails, posts, and talk to people who tell me, "John died. He was sick."

Years back I knew if a person had something wrong when I got close to them. Every disease, every illness has its own peculiar smell. I met others who had the same sense of smell but only one who knew exactly what the problem was by the smell. She was a nurse of all things. The doctor she worked with would always ask her about his diagnoses of a patient.

The Family Girl #73: Saying Goodbye with a Smiley

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Taxonomy upgrade extras: 




The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #73: Saying Goodbye with a Smiley

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl

Blogs, click on this link:

Amazing and True report of XY and AIS and Babies


Dear Fellow-Travellers

I am amazed that this story did not get onto BCTS within a few minutes of being posted – so a few hours late – here it is.

There is now a GENUINE example of a person labelled from birth as a BOY and then in her late teens being re-assessed as a GIRL with AIS.
After many investigations, a minute ‘proto-womb’ was detected and this was sufficient with hormone encouragement to develop into a working womb and she has now given birth to TWINS.

Prolonged silence

It has been nearly nine months since I last contributed a chapter to the site. It was not that I've not been writing, but I have made a couple of false starts and after 20-25,000 words I have become blocked. I have however now completed fourteen chapters and 44,000 words for my third attempt, and have a clear idea of where I want it to go, so I will risk posting again. I have just posted chapter 1 and will post chapter 2 tomorrow. Thereafter I will post chapters at weekly intervals as usual.


I collect stories - can I post some of them

I collect stories which I enjoy re-reading. Sometimes, I find typos and so on which I correct.
Many of the stories come from the deceased site Crystal's Storysite or other sites which are no-longer-available (or sometimes I have lost the source).
How many different objections would there be if I submitted these for re-posting - always acknowledging the original author and site if possible.
For example - I have some 150 stories by Janet Stickney from about 1999-2004
& 12 stories by Rachel Anne Cooper.

Zeki Muren


The BBC has a piece on Zeki Muren

He was an openly gay icon and singer in Turkey. He was also very flamboyant with the costumes he wore including to be (perhaps) the first man to wear a mini-skirt on stage.
He died in 1996 and the article is related to an exhibition of his work in Istanbul.

Syriza and its consequences for the EU.

I am so happy that Syriza won but I'm wondering what will happen. I am hoping Syriza will at the very least see these austerity measures thrown out, with a more equitable agreement happening. Maybe in this new measure the rich people in Greece will pay their fair share instead of seeing the middle class face undue hardship for bad decisions made by those in power who are likely in league with the rich.



I remember a story about a alien abducting a guy who was Trans and then putting blobs of something on his chest and groin afterwards they turned into real breast and a vagina
I didn't get to finish the story and forgot which site it was in

Does anyone remember or read it ?

New Story - Mike and Ashley (or Michele and Aishling)

For several years I have wanted to write a story based on an old tale from about a thousand years ago. I had been sitting on it until a week or two ago when my muse gave me a figurative kick in the ass. I quickly wrote a summary of the story and then got to writing it. It has taken me only a week to put together almost 22,000 words of what I think is a very nice story. I'd thought at first it would be a bit longer; however, I think this length was right. I'm interested to see if anyone will identify the ancient story. It is quite popular in some artistic circles.

Bruce Jenner making a film about his transition.

According to MS Outlook, Olympic champion Bruce Jenner is making a film about his transition to female. As he's related to the Kardashians, who it appears publicise everything, it's hardly surprising. However, the support he appears to be receiving from them is heartening.

PTSD time


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Well, after I read the latest chapter of "Buffalo gal wont you come out tonight", I ended up struggling pretty hard with my PTSD. (Not blaming the author, the warnings were there, I read it anyway)

I cried for more than an hour on the phone with Jaci before I calmed down enough to sleep, and since I woke up I've been feeling super anxious and I am having a hard time keeping my heart rate down.

Ah, well. Just another day ...

Magic: the Gathering's first trans character introduced

Wizards of the Coast introduced their first canon trans character ever with a story on their site today. And she kicks So. Much. Ass. Even if you're not a fan of Magic: the Gathering as a game or aren't familiar with its worlds, the story's a great read for anyone who enjoys heroic fantasy. Enjoy!

Update and new release

I seem to be having issues getting my ftp uploader to work so I can't update my site!

I have managed to complete Gaby's Comfort Food - a real cook book written by our heroine! It should be available for Kindle shortly but you can get the full colour print version here;

or as a pdf here;

Strange conversation with Urologist


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So, I have been having a lot of pain in my lower abdomen and went to a VA Urologist to see how to access Medicare to access a surgical solution to my incomplete SRS surgery. Well, the meeting was waaaayyy different than I thought it would be.

She said I have classic Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, which manifests by pain in the hip, general pelvis area, and anterior abdominal area, often feeling like pain in the ovaries. (I have no ovaries) She believes that the "Ovary" pain is either from scar tissue from their removal at birth, or from simple muscle tension.

Well done to Walsall FC


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Walsall Football Club have reached their first Wembley final in their 127 year history. This would make John Brook (Michelle's father in Michelle's Story) rather happy, since they are his boyhood club. Whether he would want to make the 600 mile round trip to London, is to be seen.

Timeline problem

I have over 3000 words of Chapter 16 of Tamara's Trials ready to roll, It's been edited, re-edited and re-re-re-edited but I can't use it, yet!

The Tammy stories are written against dates and the chapter written for Monday 26th Jan should be 2nd Feb! So, I have nothing ready for Chapter 16 as of 1430 GMT, the chapter already written will become number 21 or 22 or 23 etc, eventually!

Can I manage 2000 words plus in the next few hours? Let's see!


Unseen spirits

I suppose it depends if someone is one of those "Nothing but the Facts" folk, or if you are one of those who has their head in the clouds. I think many of us see or feel something going on in our own heads or in the world at large that you won't hear about on the evening news.

We have a number of different ways of explaining it to ourselves, or maybe we don't. Maybe we just try to ignore it? Perhaps we have learned not to speak of it?

A worthless piece of poo makes it right


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Thursday, I rolled over in bed and on top of Felix's laptop. I then proceeded to move it further out of my way with my knee. Long story short, I cracked the screen. I felt bad. I felt horrible. And I should feel those things because, as everyone knows, I am a bad, horrible person.

I didn't know I cracked the screen until Felix came home and went to use his laptop. Only made matters worse. I guess I could have lied and said I had no clue, but I fessed up.

Happy Australia Day

Happy Australia Day, a celebration commemorating the day in 1788 when, after losing their traditional dumping grounds due to the recent unpleasantness in the former American colonies, the English, known affectionately by later day Australians as Pommies, landed several boat loads of convicts on the shores of New South Wales.

Well done lads, well done.

HW Coyle
a.k.a. Nancy Cole

P.S. I wonder how Bree from While the Band Played Waltzing Matilda is celebrating the day? Safe to say she probably isn't serving sushi.