It's been an interesting week, but mostly quiet. I do have a few things I felt like getting out of my system though.

Normally I don't do this, but I felt so moved that I just had to pass this along. I don't know how familiar you all are with the hit Disney movie, "Mulan", but it's been one of my favorites ever since it first released.

It's based on the legend of Hua Mulan, and tells the story of a girl who cross-dresses as a man to join the Imperial Chinese army to keep her father safe. Prior to this incident in the animation adaptation, she has a disastrous run-in with "The Matchmaker".

Last night after I posted my previous entry, I curled up in bed and watched Top Gun. It helped a little, but there was this nagging feeling that I just was not doing enough.

I honestly cannot remember right now if I mentioned this in my blog, in a response, or in a PM, so in case it's the latter I'm going to go ahead and explain it here before I get to the weird dream I had last night when I did finally sleep ;-)

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to apologize for my sudden and extended absences over this past year, and hopefully try to shed a little light on things. This isn't an excuse, mind you. I know the internet is by its very nature very transitory, but I feel like if I'm ever going to get past this, I need to get it out in the open somewhere that I feel safe in doing so.

It's been a really interesting year for me. I feel like I've grown and learned so much about myself since that fateful first blog post nearly a year ago. But at the same time it's been quite rough.

I have insomnia a lot, and I find myself increasingly using that time to think about the abstract.

Okay, this is as good a place as any to ask. I've been wracking my brain trying to remember the name of this movie because it's a really good example, to my mind, of what makes not just a good transgender story, but a good story in general. I'm hoping someone here has seen it and can tell me the title.

A wise lady said something to me about a year and a half ago: "Don't rush it." It's taken me that long just to come to grips that I'm not "just" a crossdresser, that there's so much more to my personality; so much that I've buried and reburied, only to have it come clawing its way back to the surface like something out of an episode of Buffy.