My RLT is going great. I'm accepted by almost all of my friends, all of my co-workers, and some of my family. I live with a wonderful woman in a 16 year platonic partnership, I have recently discovered that an angel, an incredible, beautiful, intelligent, understanding woman, is in love with me, and I feel the same about her...and yet.
With all the brilliant computer oriented minds we have here, does anyone know if there is a way to turn off automatic updates to Firefox? I use Windows XP.
An incident which occurred tonite has made me realize that my priorities are way out of whack. My best pal, my housemate, the one person on this planet who knows me better than I know myself, called me, crying, feeling deserted and alone, and unloved. She was out driving at the time because she felt the need to be alone by choice, instead of an enforced aloneness caused by someone dumping her...again. I begged her to pull over and stop, and she complied, thus removing some of my sudden anxiety. But.
Some, if not many of you, don't know Scotty, but he has been an unofficial ambassador to many of the 'girls'. In the past year or two, Scotty has traveled to several of the girls homes to visit and, in a few cases, to get them out of their houses or wherever they live, and out into public for a meal, or just a drive. Some of them had never ventured out of their places of residence en femme.
I've been writing and posting stories for over 8 years now. I started with FM, moved to Storysite and Sapphire's, then to here. I am proud and humble at the same time, to announce that, at Storysite, I have passed 225,000 hits on my stories. That's a lotta hits, folks, and I am psyched. Since there are no counters at FM, I have no clue how many have hit on my stories there.
It's a very special day for a very special person. It's the anniversary of the birth of our online Mom, our benefactress, our confidant, our friend, Erin Halfelven.
I've recently re-discovered one of the most powerful pieces of music I've ever heard. It made me cry and smile at the same time, and is without doubt, one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced.
I know I promised to keep you all updated on my progress in my RLT, but so much has happened in just the preceding two months that I just haven't been able to keep up with it all!
As promised, here's the update on my meeting with my sisters and the lawyer.
My housemate went with me and stayed right with me through the whole meeting. When we walked in, early, by the way, my sisters were already there, with one of my nieces. None of them would even met my eyes, so things were kinda tense for several minutes.
The meeting has been moved up to Wednesday at 11AM, and Cathy is going to be there in all her glory. It IS time my sisters learned that this is not a whim, or something I thought would be cool to do for awhile. Cathy is who I am, Cathy is who I'm, going to be, and that is the long and short of it.
I have to meet with the lawyer Thursday the 17th to settle Mom's will. I am in the second month of my RLT. BOTH my sisters will also have to be there, and they are religiously dead set against me being myself, that is to say, Cathy.
This will probably make me unpopular, but...I don't like drabbles! If I'm gonna click on a story, I want a STORY...not a short article. Sorry. That's the way I feel.
Does it take talent to do drabble? Of COURSE! It also takes talent to do Rap, and I can't stand those either. Now I'm pretty much done with this mini-rant.
I didn't write the following. The words were written by Becky Hobbs, and the song was sung by Alabama. There's a youtube video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9txzREaNO4
"I was walking home from school on a cold winter day.
Took a shortcut through the woods, and I lost my way.
It was getting late, and I was scared and alone.
But then a kind old man took my hand and led me home.
Over the past 9 days, I've done things I never even dreamed I would. I've been in countless situations where something could have gone wrong, or someone could have made a comment that could have caused trouble, but none of those situations have come to anything bad, thank goodness! In fact, no one has said ANYTHING out of line or wrong, within my hearing range, at all.
though not without incident. A couple of really bad things, about which I have already blogged, marred what was, otherwise, a dream for me. I am slowly coming to grips with the passing of my Mom, and I will be okay. My heartfelt thanks go out to everyone who posted comments to my blog entries about it.
According to my sister, who called me at 11:55PM. She assured me that Mom was at peace and in no pain, with her family around her. While I feel very sad right now, I also feel relieved that I didn't try to force my 'new self' on my family members while a tragic event was unfolding.
I received a call from my sister this morning, telling me that Mom is under heavy sedation, and slowly fading. Apparently there is nothing more they can do for her, except to make her last hours peaceful.
The radio spot went off with nary a hitch. The interviewers asked insightful and intelligent questions, and never once strayed from that format. I think I got at least some of our message out, as well as promoting our stories and writers.
After a day of days for me, a day in which I affirmed my femininity and my writing. After a day filled with interviews with Radio, Television, and Newspaper, a little while ago I got word that Mom is back in the hospital with what appears to be a major stroke.
Well, today at 9:30 A.M. I go on the air with one of our local radio station, live, for an interview about the book, the signing, and my being TG. Am I nervous? You bet your bippy I am! Then, as if that isn't stressful enough, at Noon I go to the Chautauqua Mall for a television bit about the signing!
Today was the first day of my Real life Test...officially, that is. Unofficially I began on Sunday, spending the whole day and the following Monday, Memorial Day, as my real self.
5:22 in the AM, and I can't sleep...well, not much anyway. Too many things running into one another in my mind. Nobody to sleep with anyway. Used to have a cat, but I let him down and had to have him put to sleep.
They prepped his leg and inserted the needle. It took no more than a few seconds for the drug to take effect. He breathed his last breath into my hands as I cradled his head. Just a little sigh, then his head drooped and his eyes closed and, just like that, I lost my furry pal. I brought him home in a shoe box and my neighbor and my housemate, Tina, helped me dig his grave.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
