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This month was the anniversary of Darla Raspberry's death. Not sure what to say, just that I still think of her/him just about every day. (I am her ex-wife.) Just that I am changed forever, and so is her son. That we have learned first hand the terrible mental and physical effects that were caused, most likely, from a lifetime of living in denial. My visits to this site have given me strength throughout. Don't know how I would have fared without you all.
I have found only one more chapter of Happily Ever After on Darla's hard drive. I know there were supposed to be a half-dozen or so more, but they were either in Darla's head or possibly scribbled on some paper that was mistakenly thrown out. I am so sad about this, will never know the ending, what she was really tryig to tell us with her trilogy that she worked so hard on. In a subtle way, it was her personal story, and she never got to finish telling it. If there is any interest in posting that one extra chapter, please do let me know.
I hope that some day God will give me the opportunity to help someone else, as it is too late for Darla. To prevent this kind of tragedy for even one other person would mean so much to me.
Comments
Darla will be missed.
I remember her stories with great fondness and that she was sensitve to readers comments.
Despite her fears she was kind and encouraging to others. I got several kind comments from her for my own works and/or in response to comments I made on her stories. Her death in that accident was a freak, senseless thing and took her away from those of us who only knew her over the wires and those who knew her personally far too early.
It is sad that you cannot find anymore of what she was working on. The story often surprised me with where it went but that was a large part of it's charm. One hopes she had a happy ending in mind for her main characters but we likely will never know.
Your pain will ease with time. Thank you for reminding us.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
She is still in my mind and heart.
Hugs, Fran
Hugs, Fran
Me and Sam
It was always such a delight when a new chapter of the Joan and Sam series' appeared.
I wish I'd known Darla. I think there would be a great interest in seeing one extra
chapter of Happily Ever After published here, and anything else she wrote that
you would feel is appropriate for public viewing. She will be deeply missed.
And thank you for staying in touch with us Linda. To the extent that
a fiction site can be a family (I feel like it is anyway),
I'd say you're a part of this one...
Hugs & God Bless,
Laika
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
Please
Do post Darla's last works. For a writer, that's what immortality is, that people will read what we've written after we're gone.
Got something in my eye.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Darla is still with me
Every time I go back through my e-mail and see a note she sent me, or go back in my IM history and find all the chats we had just waiting for me to read them again, I have to stop for a minute to keep the tears at bay. She was my friend, and touched my heart. We spoke every day about everything and nothing, and her passing left a void in me that will always be there.
I still miss her, and I always will. Dear friend, I hope happiness finally found you in the place your spirit dwells today.
Much love,
Randa
Keeping the story alive.
Due to certain perversions of the Judeo-Christian ethic, most have a narrow idea of the way that humans are to relate. I can't, for the life of me, see how things would be if they were perfect, but I do know that being like Darla, or myself is not something we just think up; it is who we are.
Who knows what we would become were we nurtured as children. I know of a few instances where that is happening, and I wait anxiously to see how this will play out. Will these little girls grow into happy, fully functioning citizens? I can only hope so. Will she eventually choose a surgical route?
Ideally, I think there are many solutions to the delema. Late in life, I chose a surgical solution. However, in my case, those around me, who said they loved me could perhaps have prevented all that, had they merely recognized and embraced my feminine nature.
I don't have many answers, and certainly my answers do not work for everyone. On a bright note, When I came out in 1952, no one knew what I was, and I was nearly beaten to death when I began to express my true identity. My stepfather wanted to "beat the woman out" of me. Years later there was Christine Jorgenson. Then in the early 80's there was "What about Mel" in a Dear Abby column. She advised a distraught wife that there was no cure for her husband's cross dressing.
For me that answer to that poor wife, was like a death sentence to me. Something I'd always been told was evil and tried in vain to resist was uncurable? It was just awful to get such damning news.
I resisted it; fought it in every way I could imagine; used every Christian prayer device known to man, but in the end biology and lack of tolerance brought it to a shattering conclusion. I and many like me are often ejected from our churches, lose our families, our jobs, our friends and end up living uncertainly on the bottom rung of society.
Happily, in the 50+ years that I have known of the issue, I can see the progress. Human awareness is increasing. Most of those who are hostile to us are in the 40+ age range. Those younger than that often are very accepting. My best friend is a young woman who is 32.
In my opinion, the best thing that anyone can do is to war against ignorance in any way that we can. It is good that we remember Darla. Maybe her life will make us a little less ignorant.
Many Blessings
Gwen
Like Randalynn, I miss chatting with her
And Yes, any more chapters, even just one, will be a tribute to her.
So many stories have been started, gained many fans, and then, just stop without any reason known.
At least here, we know, even if the reason saddens us to no end.
Thank you for asking, Linda.
One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.
Holly
One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.
Holly
Your memories, ideas, and kind thoughts..
They help me go forward, help me understand, help me think of what to do next. What to do with so much garbage. Little by little it will start to make sense, something good will come out of so much suffering...eventually. I have a small kid to get off to school this week. (And a grown kid who is still drowning in recovering his father's affairs...his father was Darla.) But I will write more in time, and I will get out Chapter 17 as soon as I can.
always up
Even when she was down there was the LOL's and ROFLMAO's scattered through the messages. There weren't that many really, but she was fun... no money or whatever she was still always up. Well she tried to be, we chatted occasionally after a comment on a story at FM. I'm sure others were closer and have greater claim to friendship than I, but I liked her; Joan, as I knew her mostly until she adopted Darla for the story here. We fought?, no fell out a bit maybe once over the smoking thing, but she got past that and never held any bad feelings. She was a good person and I liked her, Joan or Darla.
I do hope all is well, wherever she may be. Take care Linda.
Kristina
Teenage smoking in Me and Sam
So many comments about the teenage smoking. Darla (Joan/John) smoked cigarettes since I met her (as the 21-year-old John). John's mother in real life was a chain smoker, and also drank a good pot of coffee every day, was skinny as a rail, and never stopped cleaning, cleaned things when no one else even thought they were dirty. She was a huge power in her son's life, loved him to death, but the woman was definitely not quite right. I don't know, everything was a secret forever, but she may have started her son smoking and drinking coffee at a very young age. Or maybe it was just a symbol in the story, of the mother's immense (negative?) influence over the child. It is certainly within the realm of possibility, the realm of dysfuntionality in a family. Darla attempted to stop smoking a few times, but was never successful. In her later years, when money was a big problem, she purchased a device to roll her own cigarettes, similar to how one would roll marijuana. We thought it was funny, in a sick kind of way. Imagine the health issues with that, homeade cigarettes with no filters! Darla's son dropped by her house one time when she was writing Me and Sam. She had been chain-smoking to such an extent that her sweatshirt was covered with scattered cigarette burn holes, to which she was oblivious. She was so excited about the novel. We were worried that she would burn the house down. Just a little perspective, don't know what it means.
Oh I missed it so far as I miss Darla and her story
Hi Linda,
I'm not sure yet what I will write here but I had to when I saw this post. When ever I think of Darla (every few weeks to months) I never fells to bring me to tears. "Me and Sam" had a HUGE impact on me. I read it start to end nearly without stop for sleep or food.
I have issues with emotions. I'm often not really aware of them. This story moved me deeply. It has so much feeling in it and even I could feel that Darla wrote a huge part of herself and her dreams and issues into the story.
Sephrena introduced me to Darla and we chatted once or twice and even by voice I believe. I had wanted to learn to know the person who had moved me so much. Stories like "Me and Sam" are in a way like therapy for me. They create emotions strong enough that I can not ignore them. They force me to deal with them and become aware of them. So I owe Darla and other authors with similar moving stories big time.
I remember Sephrena called me one day. She had to tell me on the phone before most others knew as far as Sephrena told me, what happened to Darla. It nearly ripped my heart apart at the time. She had give me so much and I wished I had known her a lot better.
Sephrena told me that a few more Chapters should be on the hard disc and I never stopped hoping that they would be posted some day.
I dearly hope that Darla will be in a better place right now and if we do get another chance at life got one with a lot less pain and the joy she deserves.
I hope that you, Linda, and your Family will find peace eventually and that you where finally able to see a part of John he had not been able to share with you before. Thank you for offering to post what further chapters or other things there are. It would mean a lot to me and and I bet a lot of others and I think that it would please Darla to know her work would be posted as far as is possible.
I am sure i will never forget her. Thinking of her tragic death still never fails to bring me to tears.
Tight hugs from me to you Linda and to your family.
Holly (Schoene)
Friendship is like glass,
once broken it can be mented,
but there will always be a crack.