I'm no longer part of a couple

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Well, I'm sorry to report that I am no longer part of a couple.

Kylie has decided that since it is far-fetched that we could be together in real life, I should be allowed to find someone who can be with me physically.

She's promised to remain my BFF, so that's good.

I'm kinda struggling with how to feel about this. I always knew this was a long shot, but I am also realizing how much I had come to depend on knowing I had her as my fiance to get me through dark times.

I'm gonna go grieve for a while, but I'll be back, promise.

Comments

I know how you feel Hon.

D. Eden's picture

My wife of 28 years, whom I refer to as my ex - even though we are technically only separated, yet still married - has let me know in no uncertain terms that she still loves me, and will always be there for me. But she can not think of me as a woman, and although we have spent a lot of time working towards reconciling, if I transition she will not stay married to me.

Oh sure, we'll still be friends - I am as she tells me her best friend, but that would be all - and she can't be seen with me either. It would simply be too embarrassing.

So yes, I know how you feel. I know what it feels like to see better than half of my adult life swirl around the drain before abruptly falling over the edge and down the pipe. Indeed, I know what it feels like to have someone reach into the center of my chest, wrap their fingers around my soul, and rip it right out.

Yes, I know.

I can only offer this thought - supposedly time heals all wounds. I hope so - but do I really have that much time?

Dallas

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

I'm counting my blessings (33

I'm counting my blessings (33 years married, 13 as me) but I'm sad that your partner has decided to distance herself.
Bear up and remember we're all here and whilst we can only give you moral support, we give it freely.
Fond regards
Jenny

Dorothy -

As you know I am divorced from the mother of my children since the late 90's - we were separated for some 6 years before I filed for divorce. The divorce was 2 years before the heart operation that triggered my search to discover my true gender. Bailey's latest writing about the wife's reaction to her husband's transition is identical to my ex's to mine. It is like Bailey was listening on the phone to one of her tirades. I have not noticed any understanding some 9 years since I transitioned. It is very difficult for a great many people to accept our condition - to get past their earlier conditioning and prejudice. Only when they wish to change can they start to understand. Take the time necessary to grieve - let her time to think about what your relationship meant to her - it is not about you but it is her mind that has a problem coping with your journey.

If you wish to talk some over this, you know where to reach me.

Ruth

May the sun always shine on your parade

The pain, the pain...

Well, I suppose we have to try to see things from their point of view also. It hurts too much, but genetic women are different than us. Part of it is locked up in Genesis 3:16, and though I don't like it genetic women seem to want and desperately need an XY male to man up and balance them.

It has been 10 years since my wife of 40 years rejected my transition. And a month after I was thrown out, we met and she threw herself into my arms. At the time I was too fucked up on prescription psych meds to respond to her, but these many years later, I can certainly understand her feelings.

Damned few relationships survive this and I have to stand and salute any woman who can support one of us.

I just had a man approach me, wanting to be my partner, and I must say that the anxiety of thinking about filling the role he wants was too much and I am thinking I will break it off.

So, yes grieve, and after the tears you will pick yourself up and go on. It is hard but it is all we can do.

Much love

Gwen

Just a few things to say here.

1) I am not a cisgendered woman, I have no idea where you got that idea from.
2) I did not break up with her due to her gender identity. We met in a transgender support group, so I had no false beliefs about who Dorothy was, and I believe that I have been one of her biggest supporters in exploring her gender and I was not embarrassed in the slightest that my partner was transgender.
3) I don't know very many women trans or cis who want a man to rule over them, so your Genesis 3:16 can shove it back before the sun shined on the fourth day.