Still messed up.

It has been a while since I've updated my blog. The second operation, which was supposed to repair the first operation, went much worse than my first. The doctor has literally ripped me new asshole. He tore two holes through the thin section between the rectum and vagina. For about a month some of my poots were coming out my vagina, which was not good. I was prescribed industrial strength antibiotics the day after surgery and did frequent follow ups. Looks like I'm through that part OK. Needless to say, it hurt (still does a bit).

A close friend invited me to tag along to a TG convention in Colorado, The Colorado Gold Rush, an annual event in Denver, Colorado. I got to consult with several top surgeons. I learned what I have are called fistulas, and it will take a year or so before most surgeons would be willing to attempt a fix, assuming they are willing to try. I will be getting a lawyer and keeping it close to my chest.

It did not help my mood for the surgeon (who was trying to talk me into living with a sealed vagina) kept asking if I had a boyfriend. Maybe not now, but does he expect me to never have a significant other? That one ticked me off even more.

Just to add to my drama the unemployment office is giving me a major run around. Their is no doubt I qualify, but I have yet to receive a check in 5 months. I am appealing. I suspect someone up there is messing with me because I am trans. Welcome to Texas.

The weird part is I'm doing better emotionally than I have in decades. It is like the gopher game, I address problems as they pop their heads up, and refuse to worry about what is currently out of my control. It mostly works, though my therapist seems more worried than me, about me.

Morpheus recently wrote a story called The Karma of Serenity that really resonated. I'm a girl now, I can finally be who I was meant to be. Compared to that, the rest is just details.

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