In years past, when my Dad was still alive, I couldn't quite connect with his feelings when one of his friends passed away. I guess it never really occurred to me that Dad had any lifelong friends...I don't know why. Maybe it was partly because he was always too busy working 2... sometimes 2 and 1/2 jobs to keep his family fed, clothed and sheltered.

Very recently I made contact with one of MY old school friends. I hadn't seen him since 1972 or 73, but my Sister urged me to get in touch with him and maybe rekindle the friendship we had back in school. I thought about it for a couple of weeks and finally located him and called him at a convalescent home where he was recuperating from a bad auto accident. He immediately remembered me and, to my surprise and shock, he knew all about Cathy! He had seen me on TV when I did my book signing and recognized me. Amazingly, to me anyway, he was FINE with the way my life had led me to transition and he and his wife are anxious for me to stop by when he gets home and visit.

Since that contact had been so positive, I thought to locate another old school pal. I went as far as finding him in the phone book and was going to call yesterday to see if HE would like to get together, but I put it off. Today, in the local paper, I learned that he had died Monday. John and I were almost inseparable in school and we had some wild and crazy times as teens. I carried John home one fall night, when he slipped on some wet leaves as we were being dumb and throwing handfuls of wet leaves at one another, and he broke his leg. I went to the hospital with him, then carried him home from there and put him to bed. I felt terrible, thinking it was my fault.

When he recovered and healed up, we went right back to out craziness and our friendship never suffered. I lost contact with him after I went into the service, and only saw him a couple of times after I got out. Both our lives had moved on and what we used to have, really wasn't there anymore.

I guess, where I'm headed with this is, if you are missing someone, if you care about someone, if you love someone, don't procrastinate! Call them right now and TELL them! You might never get another chance and you'll regret it.

Tonight, I am mourning a lost friend. Tomorrow, I will begin trying to find some other old friends I have lost track of to see if we can find what we had, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

I learned tonight, what my Father was going through back then. I'm sorry Dad. I didn't understand. I do now. I'm sorry John. I should have tried harder to contact you.

With a heavy heart,
Catherine Linda Michel