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Andrea James posted a link for a wonderful organization called Trans Youth Family Allies on her page today. I have contacted them to see if I can volunteer. I have seen and read stories here locally about parents who were totally clueless about what it means for their child to be Trans. One case resulted in suicide from being bullied and rejected by their mother. I tried to get our Trans support group involved in this worthy cause, but they didn't want to "Rock the boat" and chose not get involved. The first misconception that jumps out is they think that Gender Identity and Sexual orientation are the same thing. TYFA educates parents, families and schools about what it means to be Trans. They do this free of charge to the families and rely on donations. I would love to set up a fund for them if I finally get on my feet, but I will volunteer to speak about this issue to others who need to understand what it means. The website is imatyfa.org. Check them out if you haven't already.
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TYFA
Jen; You Go Girl!! Richard
Richard
LGBT
I have just written a message to one group, and I have a major conference this month, explaining the difference between sexuality and gender identity. Not easy....
No they are not.
One the most incomprhensible hurdles I ever had to surmount (an failed to clear until I was nearly thirty) was that Gender and Sexuality are totally separated. The most horrific and cruel sessions I had with the psychiatrists was between the age of six and twelve when I had absolutely no idea what they were banging on about. I was confused about my gender because it was inbetweenie but as to my sexuality well that was a complete non-starter. I had no 'sexuality' (as I misunderstood the word) right up until sometime in my mid teens about sixteen to seventeen.
Was I ever confused and frightened? Yes, nearly every bloody day ... every waking hour of every day. I can't speak for the nights cos' I still don't remember my dreams.
I'm glad your blog describes your efforts to enlighten society, they are eternally worthwhile.
My efforts are centred on giving lectures to police about transgendered issues and going about as an apparent 'transvestite' so if there are any younger people out there who see me out shoppong en-femme, they will at least know there are others like them. However, with the advent of the internet this activity might be deemed redundant but it's not.
40% of british kids don't have access to the internet at home and if they try to find out about transgenderism online at school or in the libraries, they come up against all sorts of 'nanny filters' that block their inquiries. It's sickening that most service providers still consider gender issues to be pornographic. I've spoken to several kids who desribed these issues to me and it's frustrating that they have to resort to speaking to a transvestite complete stranger in the street or out shopping or drinking coffee in a cafe, before they can begin to get a handle on the internet. They are far too afraid to approach their teachers about their issues in school. Most teachers are totally unequipped even today to deal with trans issues.
Keep up the good work,
Beverly.
XZXX
Growing Old Disgracefully
What no internet in the UK?
Gosh Bev, I had thought that the folks over there were some of the most enlightened people in the West. So, how does a child that is GID get any help at all? Are the Docs actually that knowlegable?
Wow, this is quite a shock.
Gwendolyn
As elsewhere, enlightenment is patchy
The Tavistock Clinic deals with children's gender issues amongst other things. We have Mermaids as a self help group who raise funds and awareness for GID kids, but are usually parents or other relatives of GID kids. Compared to things like childhood leukaemia, it's seen as irrelevant by many people, the same sort of mentality which considers SRS as cosmetic and therefore shouldn't occur on the NHS.
I have long argued that sexuality, sexual orientation and gender are different facets of the whole person and can be as variable as other elements, and also one of the reasons why I'm not entirely happy with being lumped in LBGT, because we're something different.
Angharad
Angharad
It makes me wonder how any GID child survives?
Well, I was not aware that what I had until the advent of the internet. If it had not come along, I would probably just waited until all the kids were married and ate a bullet. I had no idea why my melancholy spells came on. At the time my writing was really awfull and done on an electric typewriter.
A counselor friend I knew once told me that most old men were just sitting around waiting to die. Our children have no idea how their leaving affects us. Nor did I my parents. Sad really.
Gwendolyn
There's a difference...
... between there being internet access at home, and having unfiltered access to the internet without parents watching over one's shoulder. A fair percentage of parents have some form of control over their children's internet habits, using either filters or having the computer in a public place in the home so anyone can see what's being looked at. If one is young and confused about GID and wanting to look stuff up on the internet, even if they have it at home they may not be able to do so with the privacy they desire while trying to understand.
And yes, the filters that equate GID with pornography certainly don't help - but that sort of thing is not an isolated problem. Amusingly, at the University I went to many medical researchers kept complaining the mandated filter kept blocking them from other's research papers because they were drug related. The problem here is it means well-meaning parents may be more likely to use monitoring than filtering, which doesn't help children find information on their own. :-(
UK internet
There are an awful lot of people without the internet, and it means that up to 40% of the population are being effectively disenfranchised. Want to study at the Open University? Better have broadband. Want to book cheap tickets for anything from trains to theatres? Ditto. Anyone who watches TV in the UK has to pay a licence fee to the BBC, and that organisation is now making noises about needing to pay it for the 'catch-up' services they have been putting out for free. In effect, they are attempting to put a tax on having an internet connection, and that will simply make people cut themselves off. The Beeb won't want to go to the trouble of pursuing individuals who might be watching; they'll just get the government to impose the licence fee on every address with broadband and everyone with a 3G phone.
So that will be me disconnected.
I know who to contact
Kim Pearson is the spokesperson for TYFA. she will be doing an interview with Anderson Cooper and a couple of families. You can connect with her on Facebook.
she is a friend of mine as she does write to me and vice versa
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Interesting, but...
Interesting, but... I'm looking for a group that provides support for youths - who have a parent that is TS...
Anne
This seems to be a huge misconception...
...The first misconception that jumps out is they think that Gender Identity and Sexual orientation are the same thing.
A misconception that is occasionally enabled by fiction and non-fiction from writers in the TG community; some of which seems written to satisfy a target audience? Not that tg girls aren't attracted to boys, but judging by what I've read in commentary and blogs and autobiographical work, it seems to be no greater than 'same-sex' attraction between tg women and genetic women or other transgender women, from what I can see.
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
They are quite completely different...
Yet also inextricably linked as well. While I was hiding from my own gender identity, for all the world I would have sworn I was asexual - having no sexual interest at all. I'm finding now that I am, in fact, bi, but lean more towards men.
There's just one tinsy bitsy problem still: I have the wrong parts for what I want. I don't want to have sex with either as a male, but as a female. I don't really even want mildly intimate relationships as a male, but as a female. As long as I continue to have the wrong parts, I may as well be asexual for all I can do with my desires.
Even after the op, I'll have to be extremely careful, because I personally would feel wrong to not tell any potential life partner about my past, and I don't personally believe in just "having a bit of fun". So, sometime during the courtship stages, before anything truly intimate ever occurs, I'd have to tell them about my past... Hopefully I pick them well enough they at least don't get abusive about it, even if they don't want to continue at that point.
Abigail Drew.
Abigail Drew.