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Or at least, she knows I'm wearing a bandeau sports bra.
I stopped at the store on the way home from work and picked up 7 24oz bottles of water, 24 energy shots, and some candy bars (I always used to tease girls about chocolate cravings... now I'm experiencing them, it must be hormonal...) This is in addition to my work kit that weighs several pounds on its own. Anyways, with such a heavy load sitting on the rack over my rear tire, I decided not to leave it strapped on while I put my work uniform t-shirt back on over my bra and undershirt combination. Needless to say, she noticed the bra.
She was like, "what's that?" I'm like, "what?" She's like, "underneath your shirt, is that a bandage?" I'm like, "you can call it that," and she's like, "what's going on?" I just ignore her, trying to come up with a decent excuse that doesn't bring up any other baggage, and she asks again, more insistent. Finally, I say "Nipple irritation," which is precisely true, I didn't start wearing it until my breasts became too sensitive not to. She pauses for a moment, and then is like, "I just never know with you do I."
So, I guess she's accepting enough. Most likely she won't tell Dad, she tells him very little in general about anything. It's Dad I'm worried about, he tends not to take things that are different about me from other guys well.
Comments
I just never know with you, do I?
...sounds like she never knows what, but she knows you entirely and accepts you. At least that's waht it seems like to me. My thoughts and prayers for an opportunity to really say what's on your heart.
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
Mom Knows.
Glad that she is accepting and hope your dad will be,in time
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
You might be surprised.
I'm totally unqualified to comment on parent-child relationships so there's little I can say about your circumstance.
I get the general feeling from reading here and speaking to my transgendered friends and aquaintances that mother's tend to be more forgiving and tolerant of our situations than fathers. However that is strictly my own deduction. I'm quite sure somebody or 'some-bodies' will jump down my throat and say not true.
If your mother is 'almost there' and she cares, (as most mothers seem to do,) then it's a little hurtful to keep her in the dark if she now begins to suspect and therefore 'worry' about it.
Maybe you'd better 'sound her out' a bit more but my gut feeling is it might help if you enlighten her slowly and gently unless she asks for the whole story.
Good luck with you your mum. Try not to lose her for here I can offer you one hard truth and certain reality. It's a bloody lonely life without parents!
You grow up, brittle, insensitive and dysfunctional; not to mention resentful and selfish, and it never goes away.
Good luck.
XZXX
Bev.
sound her out slowly
I've already been doing that.
Though I'd hate to be another source of contention between my parents, and I know that if she accepts it, and dad doesn't, that's precisely what it'll do.
I know I can't keep her in the dark even if I wanted to try, she's always had this uncanny ability to figure things out about her kids that we thought we were hiding extremely well.
Dad should be fairly easy to keep in the dark - unless someone tells him directly, he's typical male obliviousness personified.
Another person I don't really want to have find anything out is my younger brother, he LOVES to blurt out other peoples issues to everyone who'll listen - or at least what he perceives to be their issues.
I once dated a girl I knew to be a whore (sorry anyone that offends, but she quite literally was). I thought I could help protect and fix her since she was still young... I was a fool, got burned, and gave up. We had a somewhat messy break-up and she claimed I went further with her than I ever did, my younger brother of course believed every juicy lie out of her mouth and began spreading it everywhere. I guess it's good defense against reality if people don't think you're a virgin, heh. Still bloody annoying though.
I'm now constantly getting comments about is the reason I've sworn off girls cuz of that nasty whore and stuff like that from random people at random times. It's not that I've sworn off girls, it's that girls never have held a particularly strong romantic interest to me, guys either. Since I now know better than to think I can fix someone else who's broken, I have no reason to even consider a serious relationship.
I can be friends with people, but until I can feel comfortable opening up to someone fully, I doubt I'll ever be able to be romantically involved with anyone, and even then, it might be difficult with my previous to now complete asexuality, and now wanting it as a female but not wanting the female equipment. Spiritually I still feel I was intended to be male, and somehow nature managed to wire me up wrong and it was permitted to happen to serve as a test for me. Exactly what I'm supposed to do to pass this test, I'm still not sure, but I am pretty sure SRS isn't the answer.
Now how do you explain something this complex to a mother who swears her trans friends were gay? Would I be happy if she just thought I was gay too? Doubt it.
Abigail Drew.
To A Very Large Extent...
...having gay people in the world is something that straight people are becoming more comfortable with. Full marriage in a handful of states, open military service, stage and screen, music and popular culture. Blatant homophobia isn't as acceptable as it once was, to the extent that people now wonder if the loudest homophobes aren't self-hating closet cases themselves.
Trans-acceptance, on the other hand, is still in the very early days, and the public is still often pretty hostile and conflicted, not to mention ignorant. Things are changing, just very slowly, though with well-publicized setbacks and hate crimes. To some extent, it would be easier to find acceptance as a gay person.
Have heart, though. Transsexuals will be accepted at least 50 years before us poor, straight, crossdressers ever are. Even though we're more numerous, societal stigma keeps us in the closet, and hence largely invisible. Also, it's easier to explain transsexualism, as it's a full-time thing. Crossdressing, as a part-time manifestation is hard to explain.
I'm not saying you have it easy, because I know you don't. Just have heart. Acceptance is possible, and worth fighting for. Half-jokingly, I'd suggest you tell your parents you're gay, to start with, and work from there to get them to accept GID. Who knows? Maybe they'd be relieved at the truth! Anyway, be sure to tell your parents, frequently, that you love them. If nothing else, it'll make them nervous.
___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.
Yeah, But Pippa...
Slice is LDS as in Mormon, that might mean that his Mom is, too.
There are plenty of LDSers around here, like there is a major Temple in Mesa, adjacent to Tempe. I think officially they are anti-gay and anti-trans. All that doesn't say anything about his mother, but the country's gradual acceptance of gays might not apply to his family and their close social contacts.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Ready for work, 1992.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Actually Renee...
Our official stance on homosexuality is do whatever it takes to NOT live a gay lifestyle - if that means no romantic relationships at all, then that's what it means. I suppose to a gay person, that's the same as being anti-gay, and probably as good as a death sentence, but that doesn't really apply here, does it?
There currently is no policy on transsexualism. Or, more accurately, the policy is to refer it up to one of the General Authorities, whether a member of the First Presidency, another apostle, or a seventies depends mostly on where you live and who's got some time to spare. They would then go over the circumstances of your exact case with you and then go to the Lord in prayer with you to seek His guidance.
Not everyone actually handles this correctly, many mislabel transsexuals as gay and basically ignore their needs, still others disregard the GA and simply ostracize any trans members.
If mom thought I was gay she'd just tell me keep doing as I've been doing and she'll "handle" dad - mishandle, most likely.
She'd accept me that way, but she wouldn't really be accepting me, she'd be accepting a misconception of me that doesn't really do anyone any good.
Not sure how dad would react if I pretended to be gay, he'd probably be okay with it, as long as I told him about it and didn't let mom mishandle the situation - at least he'd have a box to put me in. We're still in the same situation here though, as with mom, he'd be putting me in a box I don't actually belong in.
I'm not entirely sure I belong in any conventional definition of the transsexual box, GID, yes, but I don't want to be a girl, I'm just wired a lot like one.
In all complete honest reality, I don't fit in any "boxes" dad could try to put me in, my situation is extremely complex and it might just fry his brain trying to think without boxes.
Anyways... I've decided I'm going to try to educate mom first... I'm just not entirely sure how to approach this task. A new blog series about "The Mom Plan" will commence soon.
Abigail Drew.