Why cant I just be ME?

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For those of you that don't know, Let me start off by stating that I am part of the "AgePlay" or "Littles" or to segregate even more, "LG" and even "AB" communities. For those that don't know, LG stands for Little Girl, or is sometimes known as ALG = Adult Little Girl. AB on the other hand, stands for "Adult Baby".

Within the Age-play/Littles/LG community there are many segregations like LG, for those that feel older than Toddler aged, and generally don't have a need for "padding".

AB's are often the more innocent side of those whom wear padding, and sometimes range from just being LG's with Padding, to fully wanting to be babied and treated like a newborn.

There is also the more sexual side that is often associated with being an AB, which is often known as DL, or Diaper Lover. Diaper Lovers are not always fully fetishy, but that's often how they are perceived within the community. There are some that just like the feeling of wearing "padding" and are quite normal in their every day lives other than that.

I've not really tried to hide my being AB / LG from anyone here, but it's not something I fully talk about openly, but when Erin was recently posting about possible "Names" for the new company/foundation we are forming, she offered up "BigLittle.US" which she originally planned to turn into a "niche" publishing company. A collaboration of smalltime authors, that would hopefully grow into a larger publishing company. Hence, "Big Little Us". Or at least, that was my interpretation of the name.

But when she suggested that idea here, I saw some major claws coming out. People saying that we don't want to be associated with LG's and AB's and the AgePlay community.

My question to you is WHY?

My personality is in and of itself, quite multifaceted in that I have many age ranges I can be at a given time. Often times, I'm a toddler/AB of about age 4, that's still wearing padding, dresses appropriately, and even sucks on a dummy. Sometimes I'm an older LG, in the 8-10 range, wearing pretty dresses, and trying to keep up with the older girls, and other times, Im a quite moody teenager, or even a young adult.

In my head, I'm not really ever quite the same as my biological age of 30, and often have trouble picturing myself as persona older than 20.

Why do I have to segregate myself off and say I'm LG or segregate further and say I'm AB? Why do I need to define myself to such a minute level that it alienates everyone else that doesn't segregate themselves the same as me? And WHY does the "BG" community (Big Girls), feel the need to push us away and not want to have anything to do with us?

-P/KAF/PT

Comments

As weird as I am - I MUST accept others

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Hi Piper,

It isn't my scene, but I live in a glass house. Be who you need to be. I FULLY support your right to express yourself as you want, be that in apparell, lifestyle or fantacy fiction.

We all, and I do mean ALL, not just those of us here at BCTS, have to deal with discrimination. Mutual support is the ONLY way we can face many of the trials of daily existance. Education of the masses is the only way I see that things could ever change. The stories we write for each-others' enjoyment do find their way to a wider audience and MAYBE slowly help educate the world.

My humble opinion, feel free to disagree if you like.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

Oh, I do have a limit to my acceptance

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

I believe it was Will Rogers who said; "A man's right to swing his fist ends where the next fellow's nose begins." I believe anyone's right to express themself, ends, where that expression would harm another. ESPECIALLY harm to a minor. and I do NOT means 'harm' to someone's sense; of style or some fanatical fundementalist feeling of 'decency'.

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

Piper, I fully support your

Piper, I fully support your right to be YOU, be that AB, LG, BG, or anywhere else on the spectrum.
What we all have in common is that we are different. Different from what most of the population considers "normal", and different from each other.
As long as we stay friendly and don't hurt anybody, let's all be open and accepting.

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

I accept your right to express yourself

Angharad's picture

as you feel yourself to be, I also have the right to say I feel uncomfortable with it because it isn't something I'd do or wish to and I don't understand why anyone else would want to.

If however, that is what floats your boat, carry on, I won't stop you.

Angharad

Angharad

I think people just don't

I think people just don't want to be associated with something they're not.

I didn't think biglittler.us had something to do with ageplay, but I didn't think it was a good name either. It seemed like a name for a parents-children site or something like this. Or even worse implications.

I can't say I understand age play and I understand why it seems really wierd to some people, but then who am I to judge other peoples life?
I wouldn't take it personal. If I remember correctly the goal was to get a name that can't be directly connected to the transgender community. So it might be concern for that, or just personal bigotry. In the end everyone has something s/he is a bigot about.

Beyogi

What's the problem?

OK, so many people can't understand ageplay, but is that sufficient reason to react with disgust?

As long as whatever someone does is legal, done of free will, any others involved are consenting and the activity doesn't involve physically, financially, emotionally or mentally harming anyone, what right does anyone have to intervene? After all, many in society (particularly religious conservatives) would (unfortunately) take a dim view of people acting / dressing outside of preconceived gender roles, let alone being intimate with someone of the same perceived gender or surgically reconfiguring their gonads.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

No need to segregate yourself, but

This site and Stardust do not really cater to the Age-play/Littles/LG community (although there are some specific stories which do) and do have lots of stories which people who have no interest in age-play (or even find it personally disgusting).

This means that picking a name which could easily be mistaken for catering primarily to the Age-play community will have two effects:
1)you'll have people who would enjoy this site stay away
2)you'll have people coming here expecting something other than what it is and leave disappointed.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being associated with the Age-play/Littles/LG community, as long as it's clear we have different primary interests, which a name like "Big Little Us" does not do. I'd like to think this is what most people who objected were complaining about.

But....

Yeah, you have a nice butt.

Ooops, sorry. I've been catching up on Bailey Summers' stories.

As for the adult baby/little girl stuff, as long as no real kids are involved, I don't care. I can see how there's a bit of overlap with tg fiction when someone dresses as babies/kids of the other gender, etc. It's not my cup of tea, but it doesn't disgust me either.

Lisa

One reason

One reason I think many of use feel uncomfortable with such a name, and therefore a possible link, is the potential association with the child porn thing. As many above have stated, what you do in your own time is your own business, and you have the right to do that even if people disapprove*, just as gays or CDs do. However:

(i) The name might imply that there is a link with child porn**, and draw people here who we would rather not associate with.

(ii) Worse, is that people associated with child porn may start using the site as a cover for their own activities.

I don't have to tell you that there is almost a hysterical witch-hunt going on against those people, in many countries around the world, and the one thing that I can guarantee none of us wants is for any of our sites to be tainted by such an association, or even, God forbid, closed down.

Our sites have become far too valuable a resource for us users for us to willingly contemplate a world which no longer has them. This means that we would defend them strongly against any perceived attempt to taint them by association with an activity most feel is illegal and abhorrent. That's why you are getting these objections.

Penny

* Except for acts proscribed in your jurisdiction, of course.

** I deliberately haven't used the special descriptive word, as I don't want even a search engine to index it and someone to start asking questions and getting the wrong answers. Folks are ignorant enough as it is.

End of Detour aka back on topic...

Piper's picture

1st off... the "Name" was never intended to be the name of a web fiction site. We never were talking about renaming BigCloset or any other site. We were talking about naming the "corporation" that Erin is forming that will pay the bills for BigCloset and other sites, and act as a hosting company, and more. Just for reference, I believe we have decided to use QnEZ for the company name, since she already owns the domains. But again, this means absolutely 0 change for BigCloset or Stardust or ANY other site.

2nd off... Why do you think of Child Pornography when I mention AgePlay or LG? That is definitely NOT the case!

3rd off... I mentioned the name BigLittle.Us not to ask why everyone hated the name, but why the need to shun the AB/LG community in general. Why are "we" the TG Community, striving for equality and inclusion and yet being exclusionary and quite hypocritical when it comes to other subsets that are associated with the TG community? Be it AB's, LG's, CD's, TV's BBC's or PHD's...

-P/KAF/PT


"Science is just magic with an explanation, and bumblebees are just tiny little fairies in disguise. :)" Submitted by Erin on Sun, 2010/04/04 - 6:37pm.



"She was like a butterfly, full of color and vibrancy when she chose to open her wings, yet hardly visible when she closed them."
— Geraldine Brooks


Well to toss my few cents in.

There's not really a good reason for it. There's a lot of people with the knee jerk idiot response of "No!, I don't get it, it's Evil!" Even here.

I'm not into the genre but I get some of it. I think I do? Tell me if I'm way off base here okay Piper.

Sometimes you just need to express something you never had like a TG aspect or even try to have a sort of do-over even if it's role-play.

It's the people that seem to place what's essentially voluntary age regression therapy and they think that just because an adult is roleplaying as a child there's something wrong with it.

Those here in this community should get it. That ultimately are unhappy with the way they're born. So why is it such a sin to want to try to get some of that you never got to have? What if you had a really crappy homelife in RL but in AP you have a family that you never dreamed you could have and friends for that matter too.

We do it with our stories here all the time.

I assume there's parent players too?

And if that's the case it could be as simple as, wanting to parent right for a change if the messed up in their own lives, some people can't have kids and this is another outlet maybe?

I don't know how close to the mark this stuff I just said is but the knee jerk reaction people are just another bunch of trolls Piper. They don't like it and somehow figure they have rights of ownership on the site. Like the Grammar Trolls, or the Edit Trolls and the almost as annoying Fact-checker Trolls.

I call this one the Trans-Bigot Troll. Because as TG folk and their supporters we have to maintain a clear continuity in our community so we can be just as big feeling a bunch or arses as some of the mainstream Lesbians and Gays.

But hey people, if you've ever read a story here or other places with really young kids in a TG setting even if all sweet and sentimental and rated G. You can all be put in the same boat.

That's not the least bit fair is it?

Sorry for the rant but Reading this got me all soap-boxy.

*Hugs to Piper and all your incarnations*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

Hey!

My own scene is just what you so casually toss aside; a form of OCD about Grammar, Editing, and Fact Checking. That is what floats my boat, but like the overwhelming majority here I try not to push it into others' faces.

I don't always succeed...

Xi

Yeah...

I'm really super sensitive as well, and it takes all my effort to stop myself from mentioning any of it.

Abigail Drew.

Dear Piper

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Hey Piper,

You have support. The posts here have shown that. Now it is time for a decision; accept the support of people who want to be friends (and ignore the rest) - or - let yourself be continuously bothered by negative comments. Don't worry, I'm not REALLY that naive. I know how people can hurt each-other, sometimes with just a look. BUT!!!!! I believe it comes down to; the glass half full vs. the glass half empty; thing. Take comfort in your friends instead of taking umbridge at nasty comments, PLEASE.

AND!!!!!!! Thank you EVER so much for all the time and effort you have put into creating and maintaining websites where 'different' people have a place to call home.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

On and Off

I'm sorry if I seemed to be drifting off topic a bit. Perhaps that was because I was drifting off-topic a bit...

I never imagined that you were suggesting a change in any of the website names. I did, however, assume that there would be a website (not necessarily a fiction one) to go with the company name. After all, that is almost mandatory these days. Once you get to that point it could be "guilt by association" for all our well-known sites. Remember, the people who are going to complain aren't going to be checking their facts first.

If I gave you the wrong impression there, I'm truly sorry.

Next, I didn't think of child porn when you mentioned those things. But I am certain that there will be a great many people who will. These are the same people who think that a billboard with a picture of a woman advertizing shampoo constitutes 'porn'.

Your last point is a tricky one. I'm still wondering if it might be a kind of fear of tainting, simply because the subject superficially resembles the other, illegal, one. It also might not necessarily be a question of hypocrisy, more a question of disinterest. Personally, it doesn't float my boat so I tend to avoid such stories, but I recognize that they have an appeal to a certain section of our community.

Again, I'm sorry if there was an implied insult. I don't do insults, not deliberate ones anyhow.

Penny

Bah, edited again... If I can have that kind of misunderstanding, then so can many others.

Why cant I just be ME?

Piper, I for one say be yourself. It does not matter to me what age you want to be as long as you are happy.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

As anyone who has read my 3 connected stories ...

can tell, hopefully, I am part of the Age Play Community, though only as an adult. However, I have many friends who are part of the community as non-adults, while to them, I am a Mommy, Auntie, or just an adult friend.

I first tentatively came out publicly as Holly, as an Auntie to one BCTS author, at a weekend gathering of Little Girls. Piper was the one who suggested it as a safe place to come out, ( I was in online contact with Piper and several others before that, had even met 2 LGs in person), and that weekend I met Piper.

As several people here know, I have, over the years, in private messages, tried to explain this part of the transgender community. though I understand not all Age Play community may be cross gendered.

Thank you for your blog, Piper. As a fringe member, I never felt is was my part to bring this out publicly.

Holly

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Holly

Why can't I be me?

LibraryGeek's picture

My exposure to age play is having read Maggie the Kitten's Brownie Magic, which I found a very touching read; I found myself crying, in fact. My impression is that it's a way of experiencing something you missed out on in RL, of having a do over, as it were. Of being able to explore something precious. It strikes me as something that would actually require a strong sense of self to be able to do, so that you could experience being a happy child while not loosing sight of the reality around yourself. Depending upon one's past it could be very therapeutic, I would think, trying to replace bad experiences with good experiences, building a network of relationships.

Yours,

JohnBobMead

Yours,

John Robert Mead

AB/LG/BG

Piper,

I am a 'Big', So I do understand what you are talking about. (My 'Little' is my wife, who plays around the age of 4) I, may, have a little side. Little Samantha is about 12 or 13 (technically a middle.) I don't know if she's really in there or not, but I'm willing to try to find her...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the age play community as a whole. The majority of our non vanilla friends are age players, and that works for us. What was interesting was going to the Zoo with the group and thinking that I was going to be the only 'Big' there; with about 7 littles... Talk about breaking out in a sweat. I had another big and her 'daughter' show up so I was happy...

Samantha

Another comment on names.

My first thought was that it was a riff on a 1981 book titled Little, Big. I didn't see a connection with the AB community until someone pointed it out.

And in case anyone is wondering where my allegiances lie, there's a story titled "Diaper Daze" on my even less safe for work than this site at ASSTR. (It's in the same series as several stories that are on this site. The entire series is there.)

I simply don't think of this as an AB site. Sorry about that.

Everyone has a right to be whoever they are. I don't think everyone has a right to expect everyone else to like them for it, though. The best I expect is for them to keep their mouths shut if they don't.

Xaltatun