Need help, please!!!!?

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As you all know that I have been careing for my 84'year old grandmother with my dad for the past well over half a year. Who has been going altzy, unfortunitely its getting worse, and worse and worse. I am on call 24/7 even with dads help it is literally overwhelming us, especially me. I feel like I am about to blow, not scream or hollar but like some serious mental and emotional breakdown. I can't even take a 15 minute shower without her banging on the door for help. the past 3 days alone i must have gotten maybe 8 hours sleep total. I know i sound like a rambling selfish fool right now and I apologize. But I am 22 years old, I am mature, i have been through enough to care for others empathic needs. But I am seriously overworked, she was even supposed to stay with my aunt in a few days unfortunitely my uncle her husband is in the hospital so that is cancelled far as i am aware of. I do not get out like at all, unless once in a blue moon a friend might sit with her for a few and when i do get out to get something im soo exhausted i either pick the wrong thing up or completely forget what i cam to get. When i got a chance to have 2 hours alone with my friend for the first time in 5 months and came home even though i told her i was going out she was already worried i was lieing in a ditch somewhere.

I am not to sure what I am asking for but i seriously need help, nurses are out of the question atm even homes etc. not until we can get the house sold and at least 2/3 of her kids agree especially the executer whom is my aunt. If any of you can help me please do I would seriously and greatly apreciate it. I do apologize if i seem atm like a cold heatless selfish B word but atm I cant help it.

Love always

Me :)

Comments

I Have Been There Hon

jengrl's picture

PICT0013_1_0.jpg I have been there Hon and you aren't a selfish person for needing time to yourself at all.You have to get away sometime just to preserve your sanity. My grandfather was the same as your grandmother and it was all we could do to make sure he didn't harm himself or others. He suffered from Sundowners syndrome as a part of the Alzheimers, which means that his days and nights got mixed up and he more uncooperative as the sun went down. I had to tell myself so many times that the person I knew and loved is already gone and it was as if there was someone else walking around in their shoes. He got mean and did things he would never have done if he was in his right mind. He passed in 1998. I would suggest contacting a local adult daycare program. They provide someone to stay with them so you can spend time away from the house for a while. The biggest problem our family faced was that some of them were in denial about how bad things were until one day, they walked in just as I stopped him from hitting my grandmother with a broomstick. It finally sunk in that they could no longer sit back and pretend it wasn't happening. I will give you my cell number in a PM so you can call me if you need to talk Okay?

Hugs,

Jen

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

You Might Check...

...listings for Senior Services in your area. A friend of mine in the San Jose, California area was providing live-in care for his 92-year old father, who died a year ago. His problems were physical for the most part rather than mental, though by the end he was having a little trouble with short-term memory and could no longer balance his checkbook.

Anyway, there were services available in the area providing temporary care in his home by the hour at reasonable rates. (I assume they were subsidized by someone -- a charity, a foundation or state medical services.)

Don't know the situation up your way, and of course medical-related services are a lot different in Canada than they are here in the U.S. . But if you can find something along those lines, it could at least get you a few hours' respite a couple of days a week.

Eric

Canadian Red Cross provides a bit of care on the cheap.

My Mom and other seniors get their aid workers to come in for a few hours for chores they normally can't do but there's other services I'm sure. I'm hoping the U.S. Red Cross should have programs at least as good.

Something to try at least, they're affordable at least.

I Hope, really Hope you get a break soon.
*Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

Sounds like you need

Angharad's picture

professional help. No one should be on call 24/7 because sooner or later they're ill too. I wish you all good luck and hope some of your family realise your need and share the burden.

Angharad

Angharad

Need help, please!!!!?

Is there a way to hire a nanny or nurse?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Reading your message

Jules
It is very clear that you are at the end of your tether. Your grandmother is likely to be fitter and stronger than you by now so i'm sorry but it's you who needs the assistance.
I don't now the medical system in the States but if you were in UK you'd need to go round to see your general practioner. It's a doctors responsibility to assess the situation and if you take a copy of your plea he/she will soon see that you are in danger of breaking down.
Then who will look after your grandmother? And who will look after you?
Don't hesitate and don't feel guilty because this is a horrible disease and often the ones who suffer most are the ones taking care.
In UK we do have special care staff for home visits and chance to place sufferers in a care home for a few days to give familys a break.
A former colleague of mine used to use his wifes pension to pay for care assistants who lived in when it became a full time job.
Read back what you've written and see if you agree with me. We are only human beings and your grandmother is very lucky to have you and your dad to help. [at the moment.]

You deserve some support so I hope it's on hand.
Hugs
Julie

Jules