The Working Girl Blog #63: Closure

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Blog #63: Closure - Early Arbor Day

To see all of Bobbie's Working Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs

As some know from the blog, Ricky, our beloved Golden Retriever, died peacefully at Dad's early Monday morning last week. It wasn't unexpected as, apparently, he was already having several problems but my folks weren't telling me or my sister coz they didn't want to worry us.

Anyway, he passed away Monday.

My dad, being... my dad, buried him right away. He had a lot of reasons why, mostly to do with health and safety reasons. Maybe it's something he learned from the military. Anyway, he put Ricky in half a dozen biodegradable trash bags and buried him in the back yard. Dad buried him about three feet underground (he told me that it isn't really necessary to bury people six feet under), and I didn't really see him again. I guess I felt I lacked a kind of closure as the feeling of loss was mixed with a feeling of something unfinished.

My roommate went to my Dad's with me that day, and I really appreciated the moral support. She had suggested that we plant a tree, like in some traditions, and we all thought it was a great idea. So we decided we'd do it Saturday.

In typical mom fashion, Ma made it a big thing, called my sister to break the news to her, and to ask her if she and my brother-in-law could come Saturday, and then she had me call up other people that knew Ricky. For a former-boy who doesn't really want to advertise the fact, that's not such an easy thing to do. So I thought of calling my three best friends from college who already knew about me.

So yesterday, we planted a little tree sapling about a foot from where Ricky was buried. It was an ornamental cherry tree (I forget the name of the particular type) which is supposed to have very fragrant blossoms, and does not grow too tall so the upkeep would be easy.

Anyway, my three geek friends and the girlfriend of one of them were there, plus my sister and her husband flew all the way from California for the "picnic".

And it was a really great picnic. Everyone stood around as sis and I made a small hole with Dad's trowel and plopped the cherry-tree sapling's root-bulb in it, tapped the earth around it, sprayed a bit of fertilizer and tipped a half-full watering can over the tree. Then Dad brought out his old barbecue grill (which was thankfully free of rust) and grilled a bunch of chops, hotdogs, burger patties, peppers and onions.

One of my old buddies had brought a portable CD player, and I popped in one of old my mix-tape CDs I found in my old room. Though it wasn't completely sunny, it was still a good day weather-wise. The girls all wore appropriate summer attire, and my geek-buds were clearly taken by my roommate, which vaguely pissed me and my friend's girl a little bit. Moe eventually convinced me to wear "season-appropriate" attire, which my friends and my mom made much of, causing me to blush like ripe tomato.

My friend's girlfriend found it a little funny that everyone was so taken by my halter shirt and shorts, which told me she didn't know, and I guess that made me feel good coz it showed my friends knew how to keep a secret.

Beer, burgers, hotdogs, music and nice talk and a lot of reminiscing about old times made the day a good one. And, although I still miss Ricky, the whole tree thing gave me and my sister some closure. I think I can move on.

Dad said he and Ma might get a new dog.

And I think that's great.

   


Ricky Cabot
1999-2011

photos are stock internet photos

   
   

   
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Comments

New life!

Andrea Lena's picture

...in more ways than one. Good bye, Ricky! And hello!


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

So sorry. So glad you remebered with family and friends

Bobbie, your news reminded me of our cats.

Our cats are now 16 plus. Both have kidney disease. Rusty the big orange ex-male is 14/15 lbs and has it mild. His litter mate Callie an-ex-female calico -- my Evil BlondeTM sister named them --has it moderate, weighs maybe 8 lbs and gets 100ml of Lactated Ringers under the loose part of the skin above her front shoulders via an IV every day. We do this at home.

Odd, my dad got the same IV solution in hospital after his knee replacement. Should I put his food in a bowl and pet him? So far he seems human... but he is MY dad so who knows?

And both get a special diet and potassium powder in their food. The cats that is.

She rarely goes upstairs now, at least for the last few months, but if given a chance will wander several properties outdoors if we are careless. The main floor of our three level Cape Cod -- basement, main and upper -- is getting the bulk of their use now, the reverse of past history. I worry the end is coming. If not soon then in a few years.

I cried for 20 minutes no-stop when we put our last cat down in late 1994, so did my late mom. How will I handle it now?

Bobbie, how can you stand it?

John in Wauwatosa, the big softy

John in Wauwatosa

What a wonderful...

What a wonderful way to get closure... Burying the dog - here - would be against the law (in the yard)... :-( Love the tree idea though. It's a wonderful addition. And, the flight in for some of the family.

Best wishes to all of you. You already know that life moves on, even with changes... What was in the past isn't changed even when there are changes going forward. I'm so glad you had this closure... There are times I regret the way our last dog died (at the vet's)... But, *sighs*. Never mind.

Thank you for sharing this piece of your life.

Anne