knock knock ... anyone home??

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Started seeing a shrink/therapist/getting help with as a goal GRS, when I was 17yo. Got the okay in 2003 (witch resuleted of the GRS being in 2004) with 1 commentary. Namely probable personality development disorder (hope I got the right group name in english). Didn't care mutch about it at the time, but as usually those things kind of bite you in the ass when your aren't looking.

A few years ago I started having a work related depression and started seeing another shrink. One of the things that came out was what kind of disorder ->autism spectrum disorder. Reading the DSM and the notes on it gave me a damn big shock (and still shocking) 'cause a lot of things felt into place.

Copping with GID and being ts and al the stuff that accompagnies it as well as being attracted to the 'female of the species' (cfr a qoute from a poem) I now have to cope with having being labeld as disabled. And I mean 'labeled' aka registrate as mentaly disabled. That isn't going very well with the rest of my bagage, let alone the inherent proprieties of the above mentioned diasability.

'cause of the work related depression and the fact that they are reposting me (they are looking for a new post to place me ...) I haven't been to my work for more then a year now. More problematic is that I shutting myself of more and more of IRL. like I haven't been out the door since monday even I do need to make a small grocery run (need milk and bread). I'm 'lucky if I go out the door more then 2 times a week at the moment.

And lets not talk about communicating with people let a lone GF's or SO's :(.

>sigh<

sorry for dumping this on you people

Comments

Please...

Andrea Lena's picture

...being 'dually diagnosed' myself, I can understand how frustrating it can be. I've been out of work since 2005, and likely will remain 'underemployed.' Feeling singled out because of a perceived disorder is painful and difficult, but you've reached out, and that's a good thing. Please; never feel that sharing your feelings is dumping on anyone. Please write me via pm if you'd like to talk, okay? Hang in there!



Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

I'm with 'Drea, hon

Sharing isn't dumping, its a good thing. And know we are with you in spirit.

Dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Staying at home

It can be a bitch but remember, you're not alone. You're here, and that's the main thing. Some number of us who inhabit this site have various physical and/or mental difficulties, most of which are probably unique or very nearly so. There's just such a variation in the human condition!

My own difficulty (aside from the TS thing, of course) is that I have Fibromyalgia. Which if you wander the web seems to be a variation of ME or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). This means I have no job :( I have to be extremely careful what physical work I attempt around the house and I don't get out that often. My partner works part-time and so I only get out shopping when she's available.

All this means that I get to be myself at home rather more than I ever thought possible. I can spend time on-line or writing stories for BCTS. I can, when I have the energy, make clothes, cook, tinker with computers or do things that don't require much physical effort (Yesterday I mowed the front lawn for the first time this year. I'm surprised I'm awake at all today.)

I think the thing to remember is: if life gave you lemons, make lemonade. You have problems, we'll always be here to listen, and to help where we can.

Penny

lemons

can't I return some of them??? Don't need to return them all but a few of them I wouldn't mind.

It's just getting a bit mutch over the years. Every time I step out to consult any specialist or even my gp for anything more the a check up or a flue they discover something else wrong.

Physically (although some things cross over from the mental side)
- am 32yo (33 this summer) and most of my bloodwork, bonestructure is that of a woman about 30 years older then me. The part that I got the most problems with is the fact that I got a light form os osteoporisis (even had it already when I was 21 and started the shrinking process when I was about 25yo). Due to different biking accidents I got a plate in my right wrist which combined with very poor motorisation skill isn't that good.
- one that I can do something about but 'cause I seem to be eating my problems away is my weight problem but it doesn't help with the general state of my body (okay can only do geriatric fitness exercisses :(:(:(:( without any problem)
- bad motor skill (at least I don't fall over constantly)

Mentaly
- the 'disorder'
- fear of being left alone (don't know the english term) compounded by a very low selfesteem (wow: why wouldn't they leave me so constantly need a 'touch')
- trust issues (also ping pong with the above)
- the above mentioned self esteem problems
- BI problems going back to the ts side of things and wanting to have kids and stuff
- concentration problems

On the plus side am for the rest in generally good healt and don't really get sick that mutch. Got a dog and cats that I a love a few friends irl (that got their own problems so don't have time for mine). Got my mom and sisters (same as friends, exept it is usually me that's helping out. Haven't got a visit in 8months). Dad??? Do I have one. haven't seen the bloke in more then 25 years now. ('cause of the fear of being left alone)

Wanted, and still want to, join up as K-9. Either army/navy or the cops is fine. army/navy at week 1 washed out 'cause of medical. Cops, not mentally compatible but perfect for the army/navy (go figure). As a compromise I work as a clerk for the gouvernement (yes what the british call a civil servant). This contra- indicatori but it was the only thing left that I was qualified for. Am not good with my hands so it was no job, working stocking shelfs (am not supposed to lift things that high ...), fast foodsector or adminstratif work.

The work I did/do was laughed at aka not important and not need for a lot of things except the archive. Lolz they can't seem to find anything from the last year dixit one collegue. Now they want me back when I can't take it anymore ... go figure.

okay really started rambling. And yes don't really care this stuff is public. Nobody that would really care about it or if they care wouldn't know to come watch here.

None of us are perfect

Angharad's picture

so you'll probably fit in rather well. I have a bad back caused by catching a patient who fell - herniated two discs and have nerve damage which affects my back and legs. I still work, do all sorts of things I shouldn't or regret the day after, but I never learn and in some ways hope I never do. I like to keep busy and living on my own with two cats, I do as much around the house as I can including some of the running repairs, decorating, gardening and so on. Sometimes I even have time to write the odd story for here, too.

Welcome to BC Topshelf - a friendly place for readers, and writers of TG fiction.

Angharad

Angharad