The new social worker phoned me last week and we arranged a meeting for Tuesday (yesterday), She asked if I'd spent any time with my son and when would I next take my daughter to see her mother. All sensible questions. The answers aren't simple though.

On Saturday we headed south with daughter in tow. My mother fancied some Christmas shopping so joined us for the trip. Of course the train company decided to play silly wotsits with their trainset so part of our train journey was on a coach and part on the 'Tube' even though we didn't need to go into central London at all.

So we arrived somewhat frazzled and met up with the Nan. No sign of the ex! It seems she didn't get on the bus because she saw a snow flake. We'd managed nearly 4 hours and 150 miles, she couldn't get on a 35 minute bus ride, there was no actual apology, just a vague message via the ex mother in law. So, after two hours we headed home.

I asked my daughter the following morning if she was disappointed she hadn't seen her mother, no - she'd seen her twice. That was since the custody hearing in August. She hadn't spoken to her mother for weeks and had received one text during November. One. She speaks to her Nan several times a week however. She did finally get a text apology late Sunday. No explanation though.

The aunt who is looking after my son was staying in the same town as the ex due to a bereavement, but my son was firmly 300 miles North of there and attending school - one of his adult cousins was keeping him safe.

These circumstances suited me as both myself and the aunt met the new social worker yesterday. It was a productive meeting and helped answer many of the new girl's questions. One point that she seemed to have difficulty with was that we (me and the aunt) see my son living with me in due course. I think she's realised this is not a normal child protection/custody case.

The ex has apparently sold the house. It's still in joint names even though she got it as part of the divorce. More hassle. We suggested to the social worker that she'll invest the proceeds from the sale in the same scheme that saw the £11k part of the divorce settlement disappear a year ago.

I arranged to see the social worker here in two weeks so she can talk to my daughter, we sorted out a meetup over Christmas too.

Thanks to the snow I barely made it home. Now I plan for Christmas, my son arrives on the 23rd and goes back on New Years Eve. A family Christmas, we'll even try to see the ex during the holiday - if she'll turn up. We'll be even closer this time, only 11 miles away. The children are not allowed to see their mother in their previous home town, that part of the court order is very clear. That is for their protection.

Topsy