In the two weeks since my last blog there's been plenty of activity and almost all of it is positive - in the end at least.

My son's Headteacher called me on the Wednesday evening (29th September) and confirmed he was starting the following morning and that I would be met at the school on Friday of that week.

My daughter and I travelled the seven hours on Friday morning 1st Oct and I arrived at the school for the 1430 meeting. They were polite, as was I, and we exchanged information - they were apparently missing a large amount of info relating to his home life (or lack of it).

One thing that did come out over the preceding days is that he might have Asperger's Syndrome. The suggestion has come from his frequent concentration lapses and angry outbursts but it is possible that the symptoms are entirely because of emotional turmoil. Anyway, I signed the authorisation for the psychological tests to prove/disprove the theory.

Due to these issues the school, at my request, has granted a time-out card and agreed a student-free zone where he can sit if he becomes wound up. His previous school refused such a request.

I met him outside the school (where my daughter rejoined us) and we went back to the aunt's for a chat (including what I had agreed with the school), followed by a meal in a local family restaurant. The following morning my son, daughter and myself went shopping before he went home and we got our first train, only another seven hours ....

So, all very successful. We had discussed the half-term break (the last week of October) and I was now confident enought to book the holiday and the train tickets (to collect him).

Things sort of settled down for a few days. We still hadn't heard anything from the ex mother-in-law about her Residence (custody) application but then I wasn't seeking answers.

The following Saturday we paid another visit to the cathedral city to see the ex and ex m-i-l, this time without the Social Worker. The traffic was lousy in the city and the car park was full, otherwise not an exciting day. My mother had driven us and spoke to the ex m-i-l briefly, who tried to slag me off.

Back home I had a summons to the Headteacher's office at my daughter's school. What had she (or I) done wrong? No, the Head wanted to discuss a community project that I'm involved with (think international, historical, maritime, employment, training, tourism, US/UK charity status) which will have a major impact locally and overseas. The school shares the name of the ship we're building (a replica of a 400 year old vessel - any guesses?) and the Head wants to be involved. That was his reason for the summons, unfortunately that day co-incided with a big PR exercise that I knew nothing about - the Head told me a TV crew was due at the school to film .... the result was shown at 6pm that night. Of course, my daughter is proud to be on the 'inside' of the project.

I started receiving court papers the same day, eventually getting the ex m-i-l's stuff. She had given up the idea of custody (call it a tactical retreat) but now wanted her own visiting rights, except she wanted me to do the visiting. Oh, and she wanted my daughter to stay with her for a week during the summer, in the same town as the ex. Hmmmm. She did say, however, that her application was completely independent of her own daughter, the ex. That's ok then, isn't it?

So, onto court today. I opted to go by rail, sensible as there was a major incident on the M25. My barrister and the ex m-i-l's barrister knocked out a sensible agreement that avoided the need for an extra court order (or added complexity to the existing one). Basically, she can see my daughter when the ex does.

I know she's said some nasty things about me and has tried hard to have me labelled as some kind of fiend but she's my daughter's nan. That won't stop me from having a go at her though!

We left court with only a few mods to the existing court order. My children are still barred from seeing their mother in their home town, but can now see her anywhere else. I've agreed some visiting dates (reluctantly as I'm incurring the expenses) and we're back in court in 4 months for (hopefully) the last hearing on the subject.

My barrister told me all three barristers believed the ex needed a full psychological evaluation but I would have had to pay for it as it was my court case. She told me that if I was still receiving free legal representation then she'd not wait one moment to get the judge to order an evaluation. Damn. We are convinced she's heading for a nervous breakdown but unless she asks for professional help she won't get it. Right now she is not (technically) a danger to herself or others. That could change, of course, before the next hearing.

So, my daughter is safe and my son is safe, albeit currently 270 miles from me. Next weekend all three of us get together for a week on the Norfolk coast - the first time we'll all have stayed in the same place for 30 months.

Topsy