A Way I Hadn't Thought to Look at Things But Should Have

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Another entry so soon!

I've been thinking about how "he" was not only a facade - and I am speaking only for myself on that - because "he" had a presence in this world, an influence, a purpose. "He" was still never the real me, of course, make no mistake there. However, there was a reason for "him" to exist. There were things "he" did that affected other people, like songs "he" wrote and stories "he" wrote and things "he" did. "He" had a very real and very valuable purpose in this world.

And thank God that's over with. lol

Seriously, though, I have often asked myself, as I'm sure most of us have, why I had to be born trans and why I couldn't have just been a girl in the first place. What I now realize is that there were things I had to do in this life as a "man", things that couldn't be done any other way by any other person. Even though "he" was never an accurate reflection of my true inner self, "he" was here, in this world, for a reason.

Everything happens for a reason. I really do believe that.

Be well,
Lisa

Comments

The wonderful thing to remember, dear heart...

Andrea Lena's picture

...is that you're a whole person; while many aspects of "him" might have been a facade or pretend, much, much more of 'him' is part of the whole person Lisa has become, as you've integrated yourself. And I'm glad for that. Because it's the whole you we've come to know and cherish. The songs that 'he' wrote are yours as well, as that part of you that will still remain musical, even as the stories he wrote are yours also and that part of you will still be creative. And I feel blessed for knowing him in small part. And I feel supremely blessed for getting to know you more and more. Thanks for being so honest and brave.


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

We may not ever know.

Hi Lisa:

The question you ask is asked by most people, not just us T folk. One person said to me that I did such a bad job as a man that I fell under the curse of Tickun. However, he did not realize that perhaps most T folk do a great job in the false life. Being T makes you strong, because every single day you have to fight off the desires of your heart. In my estimation, the strongest of us all are the ones who don't realize until late, and then stick it out to the end, so that they do not impact those around us. I take my hat, or wig off to them.

We may never get the answers, or not all of our answers may not agree, and who am I or any of us to say we know. For me, I do not know why because I am not God.

Much peace

Gwendolyn

That's a very

cool way of looking at the entire thing. I wish that more people could get to see this. it's actually pretty inspiring really.

Bailey Summers