This is a followup blog to my last one, "I Dunno What I'm Gonna Do."

Well, I'm trying to get a week of vacation time organized at work near the end of October to go home for a week. While there, me and my parents will sit down and talk through the advantages and disadvantages of moving back to see what can be done, and I'll come out to my dad, since that HAS to be done -- and him if not okay with it then at least accepting of it -- before I'll really consider moving back.

I talked to my mom on the phone some more today, and I told her outright that if I do move back and start getting things worked out, I would be talking to a doctor/psyche whatever about starting transition, and she said that she understood and she would help me all she could; when I mentioned my dad, she just said that even if he didn't like it she'd make him deal with it. I swear, I am so lucky I have some of the family I do. We also discussed the transportation problem, and she said that another short term goal would be trying to take part of anything I save up and applying it toward getting a moped or some other form of low cost transport. It's not an ideal solution, but it would give me more freedom of movement than I even have now.

Beyond that, they've already got me a job lined up if I move home that has starting pay higher than what I'm making now. It's... it's gonna be a hard choice either way, sacrificing a lot of my personal freedom for security, but if nothing else knowing how willing they are to help me out has given me the willpower to look for alternate employment opportunities around here again. In the past, doing so has always resulted in failure, but maybe, just maybe, I can find something worthwhile. Heck, a job at Wal-Mart would pay more than I make now, and several people have told me I should be working at an electronics store with my interest in gizmos and gadgets and things. Without the weight of being homeless with no place to go hanging over my head -- which was a very real possibility when my sister was living at home -- a whole host of opportunities has opened up.

I'm only 23; that's no reason to take unnecessary risks with my life and goals, but it also means I do have at least some time in which to rectify any poor choices I might make, at least for a few more years. In the long run, the biggest mistake I could make is not taking this safety net and using it as an opportunity to better myself in some way. I'm not gonna up and quit my job, at least not until I have something else that I know is going to work out, nor am I gonna become reckless in my employment or how I handle my money, but my stress levels have just taken a serious dive.

Thank you everyone for all your advice and input. I promise, I'm going to take this seriously and not make a decision without first considering all the advantages and drawbacks of either path.

Melanie E.