In my last blog I said I was now into 'business as usual'. How wrong could I be?
I was due to collect both of my children up from school on Friday 25th. It would have been the first time that they were both staying here since 2007. It also was my son's birthday that weekend.
I had negotiated a half-day off school for them and had the final confirmations by email on the Thursday morning. I fired off a quick text to the ex to update her then got on with some outstanding domestic stuff.
Ninety minutes after that text I get a voicemail message. It's from Social Services saying there's been an allegation (concerning me) and that I shouldn't collect the children.
The three weeks since then have been hell. I found out what the allegation was last Friday when I went for an interview with the Police that was taped and was under Caution. I had to get a legal rep at 24hr notice since it was 150 miles from my normal lawyer's office.
I went to my daughter's school after that to collect her, only to be told that the ex had turned up two hours earlier with two police officers claiming that I wasn't allowed anywhere near my daughter. The Headteacher tried to explain, as did the plods, that there was nothing in law stopping me. The ex took my daughter anyway.
I had trouble getting hold of the ex over the last weekend and wouldn't know what to say except that she must be paranoid.
It appears that having both children here was the trigger for the accusation. Whilst the ex herself didn't make the allegation, the only way the actual accuser could have become involved is if the ex phoned her to say I was taking both kids. She is paranoid (yep, I used it again) that I will keep them here against their will (this has been said at court). More so given I have a custody application pending.
Of course warped minds believe that a false accusation can stop everything and make me a sex offender. Of course life doesn't work like that, my accuser will reap her rewards in due course, or her own personal hell.
Anyway, I phoned the officer from the child protection unit today and asked for an update. The PC told me the file had not gone to the CPS but was with the Unit's Detective Inspector for approval to close the file on grounds of insufficient evidence. Not exactly the response I deserved but it will have to do. I should hear in a few days, hopefully the letter will follow.
So, next Friday is the end of term. My aim is to collect my daughter at lunchtime and for my son to meet us at the station. So far she is positive and he is non-committal. Both were due to see the social worker today. I think I exchanged upwards of 8 emails with the social worker this week, she was being remarkably open with me, what's changed?
Onwards
Topsy
She Needs To Be Sent To Jail
Your ex needs to be sent to jail for interfering in a legal process and be made to sit in there for a few months. If she is insane, she needs to be sent to the Psych Unit for a while. I hope you casn get permanent custody of them because it sounds like they will be in a lot safer hands with you.
It's called slander
Slander laws differ from jurisdiction to jurisdiction so proceed with caution but her actions, and those of her friend who filed the accusation may be actionable under both civil and criminal statutes. Manipulating the system in a civil case like this is a possible felony under several obstruction, and in this case, child protection, statutes. Getting the police to help her take your daughter is probably also a crime, like filing a false complaint or the like.
Courts get very tired of this sort of thing and there's always the possibility of a contempt charge, too. That's entirely up to a judge, though. Ask your own lawyer if it is possible to seek sanctions against your ex-wife.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
abuse allegations
The worse thing of her accusing you is that most likely you have been placed on the sex offender list. Here n Florida if you are even accused they then put you on the list and then you usually have to go to court to remove yourself from it. Even if you do that they still keep you on the list in the computer sometimes.
Please make sure you are cleared and removed off the list. Do not trust them make sure they give to you in writing in a signed dated letter. Bureaucracy has a very bad tendency of telling you verbally or losing the paperwork.
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
It is a long road ahead but I will finally become who I should be.
Abuse Allegations....
can destroy a person. Even whey they are totally unfounded. 15 years ago, my brother was a cop in MS. He explained that at the time, the laws there said that if even an anonymous call came in that someone was abusing kids, the cops were required to go in and take the child(ren) and put them in the care of child services. Only after the children were away from the person that had been alleged to have been abusive to them, would an investigation begin. He said he personally was involved in several cases where, upon investigation, it turned out that the person making the allegation was just "pissed off" at the alleged offender and was trying to get even for some imagined slight, and in one case, playing a "practical joke" on the defendant. To make matters worse, they could never PROVE any of that. Because once they found the person that made the allegation, the person (in the presence of their lawyer) always said something like "I thought they had. If they didn't, I'm really sorry, but I had to take the kids interest first."... Pathetic, huh. (The real story came from others, that refused to testify for various reasons. Mostly because "nobody actually got hurt, did they?".)
May your issues become resolved, and may the kids recover from all they're going through.
Anne
They Trash Your LifeN
I won't go into it but she was completely treacherous, and ruined my reputation.
K
Worse still...
...although not directly affecting you, is that false accusations like this, when they
reveal themselves to be trumped up and opportunistic, weaken the credibility of very
real cases of child abuse. They can be pointed to as just "what these conniving bitches do",
by creeps who really SHOULD be kept away from their kids. So she's not just hurting you
and your son and daughter with her lies, but is eroding the well being and safety for
kids who might actually be in peril. Not singlehandedly, but crying wolf like this
is damned irresponsible, ugly and selfish. Hope this works out for you
and she's not successful in her sleazy manipulations.
~~~hugs, Laika