Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't posted a blog entry in awhile, but since returning from Hot Springs, there hasn't been anything drastically different enough to be blog-worthy. Basically it all ties into the second big trip I'll be taking this summer, which is why I'm posting this :-)

Basically, in two weeks I'm going with my family to a big family reunion out of state. This affects both my writing, and some potential forward momentum on the gender issues front. As far as writing goes, basically I'm going to be without my laptop during that week, and I've no idea when I'll be back, so Chapter Six will probably be delayed, and following chapters will be "When they're done" postings from there, probably on the same weekly basis (If not a bit longer).

As for how this affects things on the gender issues front, well... Spending time with Edeyn and Melanie, I had time away to think, reflect, and understand a lot more about myself. More importantly I was able to cope with and finally end the depression cycle I've been trapped in for so long.

The funny thing is, being on the 'inside' of that for so long, I almost instantly recognized the same situation in my mom as well, and possibly my dad too. Mom's going to be a girls' counselor at church camp next week (Oh the irony ;-)), and after that is the family reunion trip, so it's my sincere hope that this time away will help her as much as mine helped me. I've taken a 'wait and see' approach at this point.

If things are better, then we'll finally sit down and try to talk about everything. If not, that's fine too. I've finally realized that I don't need her, or anyone else's, acceptance. I just needed to accept myself.

I'm content to continue to put on an androgynous face so long as I continue to be 'Zoe' to the people that matter. Everything else will fall into place in time, and there's no point in me needlessly stressing myself out over things over which I have no control yet.

In the immortal words of, of all people, my high school drama teacher:

Don't sweat the small stuff.
It's all small stuff

Love and hugs,
~Zoe

Edit: Oh, yes, the formatting for Chapter Four's header is different from what I've used before. I'm playing with formatting to try and make it look more presentable. If it sticks I'll go back and reformat past ones in a similar style (including Book One). :-D