The Working Girl Blog #05: Having lunch at the office

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The Working Girl Blog #5:
Having lunch at the office, or
maybe I should just keep my door closed

I spent the morning with my three team leads, talking about user requirements, and the fact that we had some questions that only the client can answer. Actually, a whole lot of questions. I had a short five minute talk about it with the boss. The upshot of it was was that all four of us are on our way to Richfield, Minnesota tomorrow.

Strictly a fly-in-fly-out kind of thing, though, as we would be flying back the following day. So we adjourned for lunch with plans of meeting at four later.

I talked with the department's secretary and she made the arrangements for the tickets, the airport pickup and the car rental. I then talked with the client's VP for purchasing and he set up a meeting for tomorrow.

I was brown-bagging it coz I intended to have lunch in the office, and do a bit more work. The others kept on peeking in, asking if I had plans for lunch, and I told 'em to go on ahead. Thing was, even after lunch, they still were peeking in. Hopefully, after the novelty of the new boss fades, these kinds of interruptions will become less. Must remember to wear longer skirts or slacks next time.

Surprisingly, I didn't step out of the office most of the day. But there were always people peeking in wanting to chat. Most of those who would pass by just wanted to say hi, but there were a lot asking for my signature or asking about some office thing. Truth was, though, I didn't mind the interruptions much - I felt flattered that people were asking my opinions. Although later on, I realized that my telling people what to do was just my job, and it wasn't because I was some sort of genius. That brought my feet crashing down to earth. That little mini-epiphany made me notice that much of what I was being asked were just a lot of office minutiae, not really taking a lot of brains to decide on. Guess this is how it is to be the one in the position to decide on things. Not exactly what I imagined it, and not exactly ego-boosting, either. But it was still new enough for me that it wasn't too irritating. I worked a little more subdued and a lot less peppy after that.

Still, the occasional hot chocolate from the vending machines that the girls brought pepped me up but I started worrying about my weight, what with all this chocolate. I told the girl that brought the third one that I'd better not, and I got a little lesson in people management: though she didn't say anything or do anything, I sensed that I offended her by not accepting. I guess if it's your boss saying no to such a gesture, it means something.

So I had to do a little fence-mending and had a little chit-chat with the girl and her cubicle-neighbors (just inconsequential girl-talk) later on.

Also, I didn't know how to manage some of the other things that someone else in my position would probably easily manage. For example, the table in my little office was one of those glass-topped ones, and I distinctly felt some of the guys were looking at my legs while pretending to read the report they brought in. Must remember to wear slacks, or to put a blotter on my desk. A real girl would probably know how to manage such things. And how does this figure in the total sexual office politics thing?

Anyway, other than these little things, it was a humdrum kind of day, tiring as only a day full of little details can be.

Next time though, I guess I should just keep my door closed. And wear slacks.

Also - will be out for a couple of days 'coz of the business trip, so no blogs for a bit. Better go home, now, and pack for tomorrow. Will talk to you guys later.

bobbysig-blue.pink
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot



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Comments

thanks for the suggestions

bobbie-c's picture

Thank you for the suggestions, Dayna.

In fact, I'm already planning to buy a desk blotter and desk calendar. Not so much to protect the glass, mind you, but to protect my modesty heehee.

A lace tablecloth might be a bit over the top, though, but I do intend to bring in a little desk lamp and a desk fan (our office switches off the hall lights and the fans after five as we're supposed to be "earth friendly") and since I don't rate a nice office with a window and view,and only a windowless one with the glass front (that everyone can see through...), I need the desk lamp as well as the fan to get a bit of air circulation going.

bobbysig-blue.png
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot

To paraphrase part of yourblog:

Your telling people what to do IS just part of your job. You don't need to be some sort of genius to be recognized for being good at what they hired you to do.
.
.

The fact that you are in a position to be asked all those little, seemingly almost inconsequential questions is proof that your employers feel you are good enough to be put in that position.

So don't let it get you down.

Holly

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Holly

Some observances

You do need to get "out" of the office periodically. Okay, once in a while, you may be stuck in there all day, but most days, you should be able to take some breaks. You actually got one this day - when you went out and "chatted" with the girls. Make sure you do this will everyone (periodically). It'll help you keep a 'thermostat' check on the mood of your teams. While you're doing this, just be careful to not undermine your team leads (something I don't really need to say, I'm sure).

The guys "peeking"... Some probably are. I've lived too long pretending to be "one of the guys" and listening to what they say to believe otherwise. *sighs* Some of them probably are NOT though. And for them, the glancing down is just them glancing away from the face. Guys seem to not want to look people in the face - except when being aggressive (Kinda inappropriate with one's boss, doncha know). A glass table - yeah, that can suck. I don't know if I'd suggest a table cloth... But, some sort of cover might be useful. If this isn't your "desk" but the "occasional table" in the office, you might ask a department admin if they have a 'solid' one you can swap for.

Good luck on your "fact finding" trip.

Annette

P.S. Sorry, if I sound like a busy-body... Almost deleted my comment on re-read.

Peeking, and stuff

bobbie-c's picture

Hi, Annette. No, you don't sound like a busybody. And thanks for the advice.

Yep, I will go and circulate more. I just got my little office a little over three weeks ago, so I haven't really had enough hours clocked in for anyone to say that I hole up in my office all the time. But today was a special case. I simply just had a lot to do.

Point taken on undermining others' authority. I know all about that, having been on the receiving end a lot of times in my old job. This time, I intend to delegate and empower. (I read the One Minute Manager, too, you know ;-)

About the peeking: I meant that people were coming by and knocking, and wanting to say hi, and such. (I modified my blog a bit so I don't give the wrong impression)

My new company's a lot classier than my old one, a little more upscale, you might say. So the guys are more discreet. But that's not to say they're perverts who like to sneak peeks at people's underwear. I guess I'm just too prudish that such innocent attention makes me nervous.

Also, the other problem is that the folks at my new office are a lot younger and trendier than in my old office, and they dress a lot better. So I have to do likewise. Thing is, I'm not that good at fashion subtleties (I'm sure a lot of the others here can identify with me), and have been wearing skirts more (in my old job, I didn't really give too much importance to what I wore). I'm a bit worried that I might be dressing inappropriately. Anyway, guess it's time to buy more slacks...

About the glass desk - it came with the office, and I also noticed the other managers with offices similar to mine have the same kind of desk. I'll see about trying to have it swapped, but I don't want to be the only one to do so, so I think I'll have to think about that.

Thanks, Annette. And you're NOT a busybody, kay?

bobbysig-blue.png
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot

Desk Trivia

You say that all the managers at your level seem to have this same desk, are you the only female? The first female? It may be it simply hasn't come up before, and a quiet word with your boss and/or the HR people could get you a more suitable desk.

I'm lucky, my job has mostly allowed me to get away with jeans. They are common wear in this part of the country for both male and female, and come in enough different styles and colors that I can easily go from Casual Friday up to meeting a client by careful selection. Pair them with the right blouse and maybe a jacket and I'm good to go. A nice pair of mid-heels can dress them up, or pull out the rodeo buckle and a pair of kick-ass cowboy (sorry - cowGIRL) boots and I'm ready to go have one with the gang after work.

You could always take an empty thermos to work and pour the excess hot chocolate in it for later consumption at home. Kinda "brownbagging" in reverse. ;-)


I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.

desk trivia, p2

bobbie-c's picture

There are two other girls, with the same room and desk as mine. So, all in all, we're seven with the same kind of office and desk.

Also, as to the clothes - we're just required to wear "smart casual" clothes. It's just that you have to wear nice stuff in my new company, especially if you're a manager, otherwise you'll stand out.

bobbysig-blue.png
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot

Oops, forgot to add

How do the other women handle the desk situation, then? Just thinking about "blending in".

I'd consider denim/jeans easily capable of "smart casual", but you're more familiar with what others are doing at this company than me. In this area of the country we tend to have a more relaxed standard than say, the Northeast or West Coast. I like/prefer jeans or denim from the comfort and upkeep standpoint, they are so much more durable and easy to care for than slacks as a general rule. And for me the comfort factor is so much higher than slacks or skirts.

Just thought I'd throw a little something in the pot, good luck with the perils and pitfalls attendant with moving up the corporate ladder.


I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.

What the other girls do

bobbie-c's picture

One of the other girl managers, I noticed, had a lot of clutter on her desk, and I would assume that that "obscures the view" enough. I can't recall, specifically, what the other manager, did, though I seem to recall her desk was a lot more organized and had less knick-knacks than the other one.

I would prefer jeans, too, but none of the other managers seem to wear 'em except on Fridays, so I guess I shouldn't either. But in any case, I'll check if jeans are part of the "smart casual" dress code of the office.

'kay. Sleepytime for me. nite.

bobbysig-blue.png
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot

No Jeans more than likely.

If this is a typical business casual environment, then no Jeans except for Fridays is pretty common.

Being a common Peon software engineer as well as being an old Fart in my 40s, I do not have to care as much about being trendy and stylish. I just don't care. I can clean up pretty well but after working 16 years post transition plus 2 and a half years getting a second college degree, I have worked mostly in casual dress code environments and wore jeans pretty much all of the time. I saved a boat load of time over the years not worrying about makeup, coordinating fussy outfits, etc. And yes, I do have fashion sense but just choose not to exercise it.

Kim

UM, girls chat.

From my time working as a secretary, oops Administrative Assistant, girls will work very hard but once in a while they just drop everything and chat. It's a tension reliever, not wasting time. :)

The Working Girl Blog #5: Having lunch at the office

Bobbie, a simple tablecloth will sove the problem. As far as I can tell, you are doing very well. And relax, you are a success in your job.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Corporate Nonsense

It's been almost three decades since I left Big Corporate. I had worked my way up to VP in a Fortune 500 company. I had about one hundred people reporting to me and a several million dollar budget. I also could not stand it. Reading your blog reminds me why.

You can bet that if you demand a special desk there is a Lt. Fuzz who will complain if she's not treated similarly, When I was in the corporate world most desks came with a "modesty" panel. The glass top desks - actually more of a table, does present other challenges. A table cloth would look horribly tacky and suggest insecurity. A blotter is passe and probably would suggest a lack of organization. You might want to live with the situation and learn how to use a offended stare to turn aside unwanted glances.

The old term for getting out of your office was management by walking around. Your subordinates know exactly what you're doing . . . so don't think what they do when you're watching is anything like what they do when your not. Read 59 Seconds for some ideas on motivation. An old study asserted the average office worker works less than 25% of the time. I doubt this has changed.

Good luck in the corporate world. Do you have an exit strategy? You can be absolutely certain that some VP in charge of something or another is busily planning a way to RIF your position. Find enjoyment in your job for what it allows, but always demand that your job prepare you for something better and actively position yourself for that new job, preferably doing something where you have more self-determination.

When I left Big Corporate I went into business for myself as outsourced help for Big Corporate. I've never regretted it. Every person I've ever known who worked for Big Corporate ended up getting screwed in the end. My best man went to work for the company I worked for at that time as did another close friend. They worked their way up the ladder to report directly to the CEO. Both were in line for the CEOs position of this Fortune 500 company. Both of them lost their jobs when their branches were closed and that corporation went broke and was merged into another.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

nonsense #2

bobbie-c's picture

I'm just a peon in my company, not a high-powered vice president in a fortune five hundred, nor have I managed a hundred people, and I guess I probably won't. In any case, being a VP is not really a goal of mine. In these troubled times, I'm happy to just have a job, and even happier that I am finally making headway in finishing off my loans for school, my car, and the the several hospital and medical bills for my transition and the other surgical and cosmetic procedures I had done (together, my hospital bills were more than a hundred thousand, even without the loan interest). Living for more than four years with that kind of financial weight around one's neck is difficult, to say the least. The one good thing here is that, after more than four years of struggling financially, and if everything goes well at work, this June I expect to be finally out from under. I'm sure you don't have these kinds of problems as you are no doubt rich.

You are right - what I have is a table and not a desk (tables don't have drawers and such) - HR provided cabinets separate from the table. Sorry for the grammar error. I am relatively new to writing posts, not to mention not being that adept in grammar and in choosing my words properly. I had recently made a rule for myself to go through my posts once or twice first before posting, as I am afraid someone might take exception to my using the wrong word or turn of phrase, and find myself publicly chastized and my post redacted. Still, sometimes these errors elude me. Thank you for the correction.

I am still learning to "navigate" as a girl, and am still learning the ropes about fashion and trends, and all other things that girls seem to know automatically. Similarly, I am also learning what the trends are, and what the standard practices are for managers. For example, I am cluesless about blotters and such being passe. I thought they were stylish and elegant-looking myself. Thank you for the advice. I didn't even know about modesty panels also. But then again, I do not make policy - I just work here. I would want to ask about this, but it's embarrasing - I mean, to ask about "modesty" panels? Anyway, it's really not that big a deal. Maybe I'll just live with it. Thank you for the info.

About the "managing by walking around" - I am often naive and have a tendency to take people at face value. Thank you for cluing me in, and on pointing out how meanly some people think of others, especially in the corporate setting. In any case, I am sure there are several other ways to do it and not be perceived as being insincere. That is one thing I don't want to be. I will try and look for that book you mentioned. Thank you.

"Exit strategy?" Well, I'm not enough of a shark to be thinking about just my own welfare at this point. I guess I am naive that way. But I guess you are right, that there is a time and place to be ruthless, and to just watch out for number one. Otherwise, how can I expect to climb the corporate ladder, right? Thank you for pointing out the value of pragmatism.

I guess the real corporate nonsense is the extent that some will go through for self aggrandizement, and for using their positions and bully others into covering up their own mistakes while being ready to pounce on the mistakes of others.