If you like the hilarity of the average conversation in Cathy's household in "Bike", you'll probably like this...

Greta is the four year old daughter of UK satirical musician / comedian Mitch Benn and his wife Clara. Like most four year olds, she often produces unintentionally hilarious comments - but whereas in most families these are quickly forgotten, in their household one of the parents will often tweet it for posterity (editing where necessary to fit within the 140 character limit).

You don't need to use Twitter or log in to view the comments, which are listed in reverse chronological order.

http://www.twitter.com/thingsgretasays

 
Here are a few examples:

C: Your boots are on the wrong feet. G: I HAVE to put them on this way round cos I don't want my feet to see each other.

Don't wear that hat, Mummy. People will think you are A BIT DIFFERENT.

Dinosaurs & dragons are BEST FRIENDS. And they hold hands and WATER each other when they have arguments.

Strawberries are yummy aren't they? They taste like STRAWBERRIES.

(Huge farting sound from underneath Greta) M: Was that your bottom? G: No... M: What was it then? G: Erm... you?

M: Greta, don't you eat your sister's yogurt, I'm watching you! G: Don't watch me daddy... close your eyes!

M: Don't throw that, if it had hit your sister it could have put her in hospital! G: It's FINE daddy, the hospital can make her better.

(on top of an alp, mid ski lesson, in blizzard) Let's play a game! I spy with my little eye, something... WHITE.

G: What's for breakfast? M: I've already made your breakfast, come downstairs and see. G: (frowns) It's PORRIDGE, isn't it.

*imploringly* Mummy I WANT to be in an African Chidren's Choir...

Mummy, I *accidentally* took some of Astrid's food...

Stones go 'plop' in puddles. And big stones go 'SPLASH'. That's the SCIENCE!

 

And she's even had boyfriend problems:

*sobs* D dsn't want 2 sit next 2 me any more OR hold my hand. Mayb I told him I want 2 marry him 2 much? I'll leave him & c if he misses me!

C: R u feeling better about D? G: Oh YES! C: Good, I said u'd feel better soon! G: Yes, because I did what I said & now D's my BoyF again!!!

Editor's note: Nursery staff confirm that D has fallen back into line & happy to hold hands all day. Also gave her half his penguin bar!