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Depressed as hell here. All my stuff is packed. ALL of it. It's all in the PODS that we got. Tomorrow it's picked up. The house echos. There's nothing here.
Having to leave some behind, like the couch, four plastic chairs, a cat tree. Sent off my cats today and it nearly broke my heart, but my wife and daughter were crying too much so I had to be unaffected. But I miss them.
All my TG stuff, dresses, clothes, shoes, makeup, my wig and everything else is in that PODS. None of it is going over to where we are staying. The only thing I'm taking is a bunch of floggers and my pony boots.
Nearly snapped a nail loading the PODS and I'm sweaty as hell. I feel like shit and there's no place to hide anymore. There's no covering on the windows at all.
And it's going to be like this for the next three months, at least.
I want to curl up and sleep for days now.
Comments
Floggers?
Sounds quite sinister. Are they leather straps? Canes? Whips? My imagination boggles. Not sure what pony boots are either. None of the many ponies which pass our house seem to be wearing anything on their feet except (I assume) good old horse-shoes. ... and as for PODS
All I do understand is that you're going through the great trauma of moving house and I sympathise. Fortunately it's not something we've had to do for over 30 years. Just as well really when I look round my study/workshop to say nothing of the garage full of bicycles and tricycles plus all my other toys.
Good luck in your new home.
Geoff
Floggers, etc.
Floggers are whips with more than one tail. That distributes the impact quite differently. You'd have to ask someone who enjoys pain play about the subjective effect. (I'm told that the impact sounds louder).
Pony boots have a hoof and (usually) horseshoes on the end rather than the usual foot-shaped end. They're used in ponygirl roleplay.
Probably more than you wanted to know.
Xaltatun of Acheron
Flogger:
Flogger: http://blackrosefloggers.com/images/large/med_flog_LG.jpg
Pony Boots: http://www.punitiveshoes.com/database/ballets/rancho.shtml
Canes are just usually whippy sticks, like bambo. Switches are more "whippy".
Whips are a single tail, like what you use to herd cattle, just shorter.
The PODS is "Portable On Demand Storage". Basically they move the storage room to you, you load it up at your site, they pick it up and store it in their warehouse. It makes it convenient, if expensive.
A flogger is used these days for "impact play". People who like getting hit, endurance and some pain aspects. Think of a heavy deep tissue massage which can be heavier or lighter depending on what is going on, can be sharply painful or very relaxing. The goal is to enter an altered state of mind, to "fly" because of the endorphins. Most of the goal is not pain, some of it is "how much can I take"?
As for the pony boots, think of the highest high heels you have EVER worn, then make them even higher. You are literally walking with all your weight on the ball of your feet, not the heels. Then there is a horseshoe for traction on some surfaces, and that adds about a pound to it. IT takes practice and coordination to walk in them, and you really have to go slow. But, there is nothing better for learning to walk in high heels because the most extreme shoes seem small in comparison. I can run in 5 inch heels, but I can't run in these without falling. But I can walk fairly quickly now.
Yes, as you may guess, in addition to being TS, I'm also into BDSM.
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May the Stars light your path.
Joy
My BDSM
i made a very cautious entry into BDSM and so far have had a lot of fun. My shrink says that i have a pathological relationship between pain and pleasure. i know exactly how i came about getting it, but i have forgiven them. They are all dead now.
The spanking i got one time was a huge astonishment, giggle! NOW, i can truthfully say that a beginner who thinks he can spank me, will not be touching me, even with a feather! It has to be done so carefully, but yes, i did experience the afterglow and it lasted for a couple weeks. :)
i like being made helpless but i have had really timid doms so i can usually wiggle out of rope. So, i guess it is chains and shackless for me. i have range of motion and arthritis problems so i need a really astute, caring and inventive dom; something which you do not see often. Lately, I have been thinking of cage play.
Many blessings
gwen
I've been in a cage once.
I've been in a cage once. It was heaven for the hour I was there. Just sitting, nothing to do, no responsibilities, just alone with my thoughts. It was very nice.
I tend to be a switch, which works out becasue my lady is too. We trade off.
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May the Stars light your path.
Joy
Hmmm thanks ... I think :)
I've obviously led a sheltered, if longish, life. I'd sort of guessed that floggers was the name for some trendy item of clothing and pony boots were designed for riding ponies but I was wrong. The only suffering I've deliberately indulged in is cycle time trials when the main enemy is oxygen debt for however long the event is - 10 or 25 miles usually in my case. I guess there is a similarity. Racing was painful but 'having raced' did release endorphins that may well be close to what you feel when practising BDSM. Suffice to say racing gave way to much longer endurance events which also had their moments (300km in torrential Welsh rain for example :) ) but were much more rewarding for me.
BDSM just doesn't appeal to me but who am I, weird as I am, to criticise anyone's predilections? Provided they happen between consenting adults that's fine by me.
Those PODS sound useful. I wonder if we have them here in the UK. Hope you get settled soon.
Geoff
So, why are you moving for three months?
This building is old and has a very bad "Bed Bug" infestation. They are moving everyone out to remodel it and to set off a Nuclear Weapon on the bugs, I hope. It has gotten to the point that it makes me a little crazy; oh Gawd, worse than normal. :)
Hope you survive your displacement.
Gwen
The house we had was
The house we had was foreclosed on. We have applied for Section 8 Housing, which is based on your income, but it's a three month waiting list to get in. So since the house is officially not ours anymore as of today, and we still have to have a place to stay, we are living with a friend who has offered to let us stay with him for those months while we wait for housing. I can tell already it's going to be a chore.
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May the Stars light your path.
Joy
I am so sorry
Didn't mean to be nosy.
I have been in S8 housing for a couple years now. It's funny because I got hit by so many things all at once, that I just folded. Then they put me on a huge dose of psych meds to "save" me and that just made matters much worse. In the end, I got thrown out and would have died on the streets but a fast thinking counselor realized the gravity of my situation. And, I ran into several very nice people along the way.
I was trying to go back to work, but am told that now that I have the "nut case" brand, I won't be able to get rid of it, and I have friends who say that they don't think I could hold it together under a 40 hour week, spit ball boss.
So many of us are in that situation.
Here is hoping that things improve for you. Inshallah, they will.
Gwen
Gwen, you aren't nosy. I've
Gwen, you aren't nosy. I've lost the ability to be embarrased by the situation. Apparently we aren't the only ones in this situation. Lost my job of 7.5 years in February of 2006. Why? They were trying to get rid of me and I gave them the reason. Then things went downhill and it culminated now. So you aren't nosy.
The real "bit*h" of the situation is that I have been diagnosed with Disthymia (think depression that you never come out of, it just gets slightly better) and that could have been part of the problem at work. Now I'm on meds for it and I actually feel better. But I still don't have a job and even though I've been applying, nothing has been coming.
It's all part of the whole package. Gender Dysphoria, Diabetic, HBP, homeless, Dysthimia, possibly problems with my hormones, and so on. Escapism is really easy here.
Anyhow, toldya it would be a dark ride. Here we go.
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May the Stars light your path.
Joy
Paralell paths
We've had many common experiences. I am of the opinion that the drugs, in my case, just made matters worse. Of course one never knows. I think I would have dealt with the GID in a way that hurt the family worse, but then again, maybe I'd have popped my cork and hurt someone else or myself. Only God SWT knows.
At any rate, it is water under the bridge now. I wasn't adept enough at lying to myself and others to remain a Fundamentalist.
I think the real heroes are those who have GID and somehow will keep leading their old life to a natural conclusion. At least that hurts the family less. Maybe in 2108 treatment protocols will be better. :)
Ma Salama
Gwen
Americans with disabilities act ADA
In the past twelve years I have moved five times. One of the times was subsidised by section eight housing. I bought my own home in February.
Gwen since you are in section eight housing i am assuming you live statesided, haviong been diagnosed with a mental illnesss you are protected by the ADA with your disabilities of your mental illness. You can work and don't have to share you diagnosis with your boss. to account for you unemployment list the blank are as "Family member was sick and I was the primary care giver." An employer cannot ask about the illness nor can they ask who the family member was.
if you are refused employment due to a disability get the ADA to represent you in a court of law.Go on line to NAMI.org and find the NAMI Connection recovery and support group. Attend a meeting. it is a support group for those with mental illnesses.
I know this site is related to TG issues, but as a transgendered person one can still have a mental illness not related to their trans status. I found NAMI to be very beneficial to me as an Intersexed person.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.