misjudgment?

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it's strange how you can misjudge people.

I recently reposted one of those things on FB, i'm sure some of you saw it, the subject was essentially transgender use of toilets. Well much to my surprise, a friend i've known for about 20 years of work and leisure posted a reply saying it worried her which was quite unexpected as she's of very liberal politics and IME deeds. That in itself didn't bother me, each to their own.

However she then went on to vent her distaste for lesbian sportswomen which I thought a bit strange given the original post. I thought I'd try to clarify her standpoint and so we started an extended exchange.

For reasons unknown she thinks TG people do it for fun and will even have surgeries just to pull one over on her, whether that be in the toilets or the sports field. Apparently we have sex change surgery so we can best her at races. She is probably atypical - she's not the most feminine of women but is she more typical in having these fears/ideas than we might think?

TBH i'm not quite sure what to think of her now. It's not something to fall out over but it will now affect how I interact with her.

Well thought for the day I guess - I'll get back to writing tomorrow.

Mads

Comments

Um yeah.

I saw that unfold, I even thought of putting her straight on the use of para-athletic blades away from para-sport but decided "not my circus, not my monkeys". Based on that exchange she sounds like she would make a great owner of a casino, to them if you have a good memory - you're cheating, if you have a system - you're cheating, if you're really lucky - you're cheating

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You can't choose your relatives but you can choose your family.

Yep

We maim ourselves jut to fool her,or is it to fool ourselves? Personally I would take every negative consequence of being female, Including ministration and cramps. As is as my councilor says, I'll be wigging for life For me the choice was suicide or transition, so I get a lot hostile toward TERF attitudes(TERF is a word google it). Which is how I interpret her attitudes There a physical documented medical reason for being transgender, It is no more a choice than my eye color.If it had been a choice I would have said no, and lived a normal life and kept a well paying job with insurance instead of surviving this stroke vwith minimum resourses, Fortunately for me I had good friends

Something happens...

Daphne Xu's picture

... all too often, to sour someone on someone else. I've had it happen with me all too many times throughout my life. (I won't mention any names.) Once it happens, it's really hard to change back. I think that's why one has situations where one refuses even to speak with another.

-- Daphne Xu

It's truly unfortunate.......

D. Eden's picture

That you can never really know a person or how they feel until they are confronted with the right circumstances or situation.

I thought I was lucky enough to be working for a progressive, forward thinking, and liberal employer - but I was wrong. When I went to our Human Resources department regarding coming out at work and completing my transition, the reaction I got was amazing - it couldn't have been better. But it soon became obvious that there was little substance behind the talk. When one of my employees found my Facebook page a few weeks prior to my planned transition date and the scheduled announcements and corresponding meetings regarding diversity and non-harassment, I was confronted and treated like a criminal. Like I had done something wrong; yet the employee who ran to HR hoping to get something out of revealing my status was protected. They refused to tell me who it was - but I knew and told them who it was. When I asked what was being done to that employee regarding her actions, it became evident that the answer was absolutely nothing - even when I pointed out that she was in violation of the company's stated non-harassment policy. They refused to even officially admit her identity, even though it was obvious I was correct as to who it was.

The irony of the story is that outside of that one employee (who I had recently disciplined and was seeking retribution), I never had any issues with any of my people. In fact, I never had issues with any of the hourly personnel.

However, senior management was another story entirely. They immediately began a campaign of excluding me from meetings. Where lunch with other members of the executive team had been a nearly weekly occurrence, it stopped entirely. Not the lunches themselves, just my participation in them. I was no longer a member of the "old boys club" - something I never really was anyway, although they had tried to include me.

That changed immediately, and eventually I was let go. As an "at-will" employee, no cause was required. I was simply told that "I no longer fit the company's needs and requirements." Yeah, I'll let the readers here figure that one out.

You see, you never know the true way a person will jump until you drop them into the fire.

D

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

its

Maddy Bell's picture

Not that big a relationship thing, I'm not exactly out as TG, I'm looked on as a slightly eccentric individual but nothing beyond that, my sporting endeavours, daughter and lifestyle don't suggest TG! (I do not consider i'm any part of a group with LGB in the title, i'm neither gay nor Bi (read confused))

I actually find it quite disturbing that those who use individual toilets are worried about this issue, shouldn't it be men sharing open communal toilets complaining? But i'm not going to get bent out of shape over the issue, just a bit disappointed in this individual.

Mads


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Madeline Anafrid Bell