...is Mrs. Potts (no relation to Ms. Bill Potts, former timelord companion and water baby), who is a dryad. She's a tree trunk from about the belly button down (not that she's uncouth enough to show off her belly button but wears nice blouses) and has a riotous immense mass of leaves for hair, She lives in a large terra cotta flowerpot resting on Segway wheels, and loves sunlight, luxuriates in it outdoors during her breaks, for obvious reasons. Sometimes her arms, which look a lot like branches, get stuck in one position, as her tree part tries to take over completely, and then she needs help getting them unstuck. But the kids all love Mrs. Potts; she's a sweetheart, and really knows her subject.

One day she was out sick with a bad case of aphids, and her husband filled in for her. He wasn't all that good of a teacher. As the bell rang and the M.Y.T.H. students all took their seats he wrote a giant G on the blackboard, followed by R-O-O-T; then turned and addressed them "I AM-"
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Hope your pain abates and your real life stuff gets done, Dorothy. And about your Muse you might try threatening her that unless she gets back to work musing RIGHT NOW this M.Y.T.H. universe you've both worked so hard to create and develop might wind up with a silly story like the above...
~huggles, Veronica

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(any MYTH authors, feel free to use this character, or reimagine her into something a little less stupid...)