without being in torment, can I still write?

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I am scared I might be done as a writer.

See, almost all of my writing came out of the struggles I have had with PTSD and my gender.

Now, I have just had the biggest success in dealing with my gender issues by getting my name legally changed, and I'm scared that without that struggle my muse has nothing to feed on anymore.

Do I need to be tormented to write?

And what do I do if my muse doesnt come back?

Sighs ... I could use some huggles ...

Comments

I reach back

AuPreviner's picture

Your muse isn't dead. Reach back and you will find her easily.

Almost every story I have written thus far is taken from a single moment of time that I experienced. More often than not, just a minute of time. I take it and the emotion I felt at the time and build a whole story around it.

For example, my latest story. "Why Did You Say No?". The scene really did happen. A teenage girl during my lunch hour at my high school was sitting at the next table and looked at me and really said out loud so everyone could hear, "Do you want to f***?" And it was in front of all my friends too. These days, that might not be abnormal, who knows. But in the 70s, it was unbelievably awkward for me. I couldn't tell her why I said no. And, my friends couldn't believe I said no. She wasn't unattractive at all.

As your life resolves because of growing older, I think what it will do is allow you to write richer characters and give you more stories to write on, not less. The depth that I feel I have in my stories now comes from having years to resolve my feelings about those moments and making sense of them in a larger context of where I am today.

I guess what I am saying is, trust yourself. Take the time now to make sense of the moments you have been hurt and turn it into something positive and meaningful as part of your journey to become who you are.

Trust that you can use the healing just as much as the wounding to inspire your writing.

You will be fine.

Bon Voyage,

AuP


"Love is like linens; after changed the sweeter." – John Fletcher (1579–1625)

I think

The need towreite is within you. It will come out no matter what. I haveone story that felt lik it forced itself out of my skull.once I don't think of myself as very good writer I have other creative outlets w/ my electronics. My bet is you give it some time and you will not be able to help yourself.

Probably

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

My early stories revolved around things that happened to me and what I wished would have happened. They started out very clumsy. As they moved away from that, they improved. The characters became more interesting and realistic. The story lines more interesting and sometimes more adventurous.

My inspiration these days comes from all over. The story that finally made a large audience notice here on BCTS came from a story challenge that struck a nerve and I saw it just a little different than I've ever seen a story and wrote it not from first person cross-dresser but from first person of someone who accidentally notice he and she were the same person. A story just about as far from my personal experience as it could get.

Take as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt

WRite if you want to.

My PTSD used to be much more severe. So, now I just try to write happy stories.

Sending huggles

Sending huggles to your muse too.

You are too good a writer to stop. Besides we need to find out what happens at M.Y.T.H.

I've got no advice for you, but ...

Sara Selvig's picture

I do send a bushel basket full of freshly gathered huggles!

Sara


Between the wrinkles, the orthopedic shoes, and nine decades of gravity, it is really hard to be alluring. My icon, you ask? It is the last picture I allowed to escape the camera ... back before most BC authors were born.

Sure you can!

Page of Wands's picture

Though the "tortured artist" is a common stereotype, almost every account I've seen (including my own personal experiences) says that artists are more productive when they're not stressed, depressed, etc. So I'm going to guess that you'll find yourself writing even more, now that a major source of your stress has been relieved.

*many huggles*

RL and some health issues

Have been interfering with my ability to write recently, I've posted only two pieces since late April.

Once things here have sorted themselves out, I'm sure I'll get back into the wing of things.

What happens mostly for me is I'll get an idea and be driven to put it down as soon as possible. Sadly, the ideas haven't been coming up often lately, hopefully that will change some time soon, I love it when I find a story that wants to be finished badly enough.

Some of my stories have some basis on events in my life, many don't. Just because many of your stories had their basis in various PTSD episodes or times in your life doesn't mean that all of your stories will come from those experiences.

Your muse will return eventually, I hope it's soon, take care of yourself and I'm sending lots and lots of *huggles*.