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I got my new driver's license yesterday, with my correct name and gender (and the ugliest picture of me yet.) I'd already gotten a new passport and an updated Social Security card, and work made me a new work ID last week. I finally feel like I'm officially me.
I took the month off from work to handle all the name changes, and it's been a full-time job. My company did a training on How To Deal With A Trans Co-Worker last week and started updating all their databases and accounts with my new name, so I'll go back to work in January as Allison. But I'm counting Dec 3, when my vacation started and I stopped having to deadname myself, as the start of my RLE.
I'm still having trouble taking it all in. I've been Allison everywhere but the office since early 2016, and since some places are really slow about updating my name, my deadname still keeps cropping up. It really just feels like life as usual, just a little crazier because of all the running-around.
And I still have the same psychological issues to deal with. I'm still having emotional flashbacks (or "freak-outs" as I call them) on a daily basis and I'm still plugging away with my therapist (who has a specialization in trauma treatment.) In case anyone didn't notice, Michael in my latest story (Foster Mother) is based on me, though of course I never had anyone like Millie in my life.
Comments
I pray you find life full filled
Allison, I'm positive your shrink has told you this life changing event is only what you make of it. The outside challenges are still there. The real difference is one is no longer fighting the two lives inside themselves. Seems as if we live on a teeter totter. The conflict inside is diminished, the ones outside ramp up to bring it back into balance.
Forewarned is forearmed, some of the strongest and some of the most fragile people on this big blue marble we call home are those living the boy-girl gender blender. I wish you happiness most of all and a satisfying life. You received a beautiful Christmas Present to yourself. Cherish it the rest of your life.
Merry Christmas and hugs too.
always,
Barb
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Having just gone through the same thing......
I wish you the best!
I did it a little different - I made my transition at work in October, and my legal name change just went through last week - the judge refused to seal the records, so it had to be published in the local newspaper and I am awaiting the notice from the court clerk that they have the affidavit from the paper proving that. Then I can start with license, passport, birth certificate (lucky me was born in CA, so yes, I can get a corrected birth certificate!), SS card, etc.
Since my first name is not changing, mine is more a paperwork thing at work - but I can't wait for the license and passport! I've been putting off some travel because of that.
I hope your introduction at work goes well! Please keep me updated.
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Congratulations
Congratulations.
Anne Margarete
Congratulations
How times have changed, but then I did it in a different country and 30 years ago. I'm glad you decided to use my birthday as your start date, mine coincided with Bastille Day in France. I hope you manage to work through your issues and that life will bring forth all the things you've dreamt about. Good luck for your future voyage into womanhood.
Angharad
I know I've been very fortunate (and privileged.)
I'm very aware that transitioning won't solve all my problems. It won't even stop my feeling that I'm fighting myself (C-PTSD is like that.) But at least I don't have to be a guy any more.
I filed the name-change petition back in early August. There's a lawyer in our community that has done this for a lot of people, so it went very smoothly, if not as quickly as I would have liked. In my county, it seems accepted by the courts that being trans is enough of a risk to justify not requiring publication, so I was spared that delay. As soon as I got a copy of the order, I walked down the hall and applied for a new passport and got it a few weeks later. SS card was equally simple. New driver's license took a little more time hanging around at DMV. Fortunately, everyone knew what to do, so I didn't have to wave printouts from the websites at anyone. My plan was to be done by Dec. 31, and I've mostly managed it.
I count myself very, very privileged and fortunate. I live in a trans-friendly area of the US, with laws that protect me. I'm well-off enough that I won't suffer financial hardship even if I lose my job, which I won't because my company is trans-friendly and anyway I'm essential enough to what my department does that they won't voluntarily get rid of me. And I'm doing this before the new administration has a chance to make it painful or impossible.
Bright future
The future is looking very bright for you (happy dance) as far no ugly picture when have you ever seen a passport or drivers license picture be anything other the ugly I think it has something to do with the camera they use .
Hugs and Kisses that was a nice Christmas gift :-) Richie
Differences betweeen Europe and USA
I'm really happy for you that you managed to get through the bureaucracy in the US. I have to say that hearing what hoops you had to jump through makes me feel really lucky to live in Europe. Changing my name in official papers and birthcertificate took nothing more than my doctor's (well two specialised psychiatrists actually) notice and the standard time to receive a new passport. You have to wonder why would people want to make it so hard if it's that easy to do.
Not that hard
I can't say that there were that many hoops for the official IDs.
In the US, a legal name change requires a court order, but it wasn't that hard. My attorney simply took the last petition he filed and changed the names and dates. I didn't need any psychiatrist letters; my therapist (who I would have been seeing anyway) supplied a letter, I got a copy of my birth certificate and wrote a check. The other offices wanted a Real Doctor (MD), which meant the doctor who prescribes my hormones. Again, just boilerplate with the correct names and dates inserted and the appropriate seals and ribbons. All of the offices (passport, SSA, DMV) list the requirements on their website. I printed out the instructions, but everyone knew what to do, anyway. It's just that everything involves processing and mailing; "seven to ten business days" is standard.
Birth certificate is likely to be a problem, since I was born in Virginia, which is still stuck in the 1850's (pre-Civil War.)
The non-government stuff has been a bigger hassle.
The bank wanted two government IDs: one with my old name (driver's license), one with my new (passport), plus the court order. The credit card stuff required finding someone at the credit card company who knew anything, then they had to mail me a form, which they wanted me to fill out and mail back, and then they'd check it all out for a few days, then mail me the new card. Each step requiring, of course, a week.
My company uses three different companies for health insurance: one each for medical, dental, and prescription drugs, and they use a fourth company to actually talk to the three health insurance companies. So I had to call each of them to make sure they'd gotten the name and gender change and then ask them to make sure they'd actually processed it and then to get them to promise to mail me a new ID card. That was a week of phone calls. My external E-mail address was supposed to change but that took several days, and then they only changed the outgoing address; it still didn't recognize that address on incoming E-mail. That was a week of test E-mails and E-mails to the subcontractor in India.
The electric company had to close out my account and open a new one, they can't change names. The cable (internet) company couldn't be reached on the phone, I had to drive down to their office and present all the usual IDs and letters and court orders.
I'm sure there's other stuff I haven't thought of. I guess it'll be something to keep me busy and out of trouble while I'm waiting out the year before SRS.
Never a dull moment ....
good news on being you
congrats, hon!