A part of the bagage I carry around where the comments my Ma made and one of her actions since the first time she found out I dressed (think I was about 8 years old at the time but it was going on from age 4 although I didn't life with her at that time). The action was the fact that there where no more hugs or any other comforting physical action. That hurt but it's the comments that screwed my up more. She basically told me I would end up only being good for working the streets in one way or another and she did this for about 7 years every time she caught me. ( think she finally stopped when I was hospitalized care for 6 months at age 15 for school problems and ending up being watched / put partially into care by the Special Youthcare branch (including after school and vacations) of the SS till I was 18).

I think that those are 2 of the reasons I'm such a mixmatch of everything. And that I don't fit the standard mold (if there even is one) of being transsexual. Throw in my ASD and it makes things even more complicated.

I've been postop for 12 years, 1 month and exactly a week today and I never regretted my GCS as in the fact of getting my body closer to who I am inside. What I do regret is the fact that I'm not able to have kids (even if I don't know if I would be a good mom) and the few times I get 'caught'. And yes the fact that I'm not that girly sometimes. But I'm being me and that's what I was aiming for since I knew the difference between a boy and girl.

Lynne
reflecting about her 37 years in this world