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When I started transition, my gatekeeper, and some people in my support group, both insisted I'd turn out straight. Well, I am lesbian. But I still have a lot of hang-ups from that. And I haven't read much about the men, but I've seen a lot of stories about womyn who turn out bi/pan or het, but not so much about womyn who turn out lesbian or ace. And I really want to say that no, just because someone transitions doesn't mean that they'll develop an attraction to other sexes/genders. Some do, some don't, and I wish it were easier for each group to find representation.
I have been too busy with other things, and with arm pain and headaches, to write my own stories. I would like to start, soon.
P.S. I started transition years ago, and started hormones not long after. So this isn't about what I'm expecting in my life, this is about what I'm not seeing in enough stories.
Comments
There are no rules,
Many people here will claim your attractions don't change, and indeed they may not. Mine did, but it expanded. Some people wind up asexual while being feminine.
The only constant is if you allow yourself to be free you will change. How is up to genetics and who you are, no one else can say one way or another. I do think you wind up being happier for it though.
Emotional attraction or physical desire.
I can report what happened to me, but am very far from understanding it. As a man, I was very effeminate, but engaged in high risk activity to prove myself to me. I've done things that would make some men piss themselves. Yet, from age 4, I knew I was a girl in my head. Beatings and brainwashing caused me to forget that.
As a man, I was never attracted to men, in fact I disliked them. I was attracted enough to women to have two children and get addicted to porn. Being devout, once the children were grown and married I plotted to get castrated. Somewhere along the line I got abducted by Alien psychologists who filled me with drugs and put shit in my head that made me highly suggestible. So, I got the operation and have been living as a woman for 11 years.
I'm not on dope any more, and don't see a shrink. In the meantime, I am solidly attracted to men. At 68 that means nothing. I've been told by a couple men that I am too much of a handful, and they just don't see that a firm hand would bring me right in line. I'm so twisted that maybe they just don't want to take that on.
If you are a part time cross dresser, that is best. That way you don't totally destroy your prospects.
Gwen
Medication
If you are being given medication as part of your transition, it is entirely possible that your preferences may shift. I don't say that you'll go right from one extreme to another, or that anything will happen immediately, but those chemicals are bound to have an effect on your brain. That's why you are taking them!
History plays another part and genetics are also a factor. You are the sum of all those things and it would be rash to state positively that you are likely to be the same afterwards as you were before.
Penny
Something changes
I have tried to de-transition on more than one occasion, and even trying to act the part of a hard core "guy", it just did not convince anyone. I had jeans and a flannel shirt with a ball cap on, and some tennis shoes, and forgot to "man up" my voice. It was a certified logger country cafe, and a guy opened the door for me and the waitress "Mammed" me. Once you cross over to the other side, it is just not so easy to switch back.
G
Balance shifts slightly
Men may look a bit more physically appetizing but I found I have no urge to emotionally bond with them. They just don't appeal to me that way.
My choice of companionship would not be a male one and the vast majority of male bodies do not come even close to making the spot hot.
It varies with all of us. I like something in my vagina, sure, but it does not have to be a man wielding it.
men vs women vs other
I have always been emotionally attracted to men. I had 3 really great crushes in my teen years... they were all for men (boys).
As an adult my sex drive almost made me criminal. It was everything I could do to reign it in. I too became addicted to porn and would do my business more than 5 times a day. I would do it so often the skin would crack and bleed... I still wasn't satisfied.
I once cornered a small girl and put my hand down her panties... I was 16. I knew then that I was not normal.
I have worked VERY VERY hard to control my urges. HRT for me was an incredible relief. I made the mistake of telling my gatekeeper about my strong urges.
I spent the next 4 months fighting with her. She didn't want to talk about transition.... only "tell me about your penis" "how does having a penis make you feel" I finally went to the supervising shrink and begged to speak to someone else. I broke down crying... and surprisingly he took on my case personally.
I was put on heavy duty androgen blockers. And later estrogen. It was like the clouds had parted and I could see a hint of sunshine.
Don't let your gatekeeper decide. Get a new one. There are a LOT of them outthere. Some are friendlier than others.
It is their duty to you and to society to weed out the ones who can be integrated back into society. Being transgender comes with so many mental illness and severe coping mechanisms they have to be mean to be kind.
However they shouldn't be a 350lb no fat linebacker who blocks you at every step. You need to be able to put your head down and push through if you really want through.
Dayna.
I can only speak for myself...
So all I can say is, that my attraction to women didn't change during transition. While I can appreciate men, some are even very close friends, I'm into women exclusively. I'm happy the way I am now. A friend of mine swiched her orientation during her transition.
I think it is different for everyone of us.
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>> There is not one single truth out there. <<