I'm still here.

I haven't given up.

I've managed to not give up.

I'm struggling to not give up.

The thing is, I'm a sucker for routine. If there's a break in routine, it messes me. up. If it's a big enough break, it's that much harder for me to get back into it. back in 2015, I had my the last appointment with my psychiatrist. Their scheduling system was down so I couldn't book my next appointment.

Question.

Do people have a preference for how soon a gender change occurs in a story especially if it is a long story?

I'm curious because I have stories where the gender change occurs quickly, and ones where it's not until almost the end that it takes place. I myself don't have a preference. Since I was thinking about how I feel about it, I started to wonder what other peeps prefer or think on this subject.

I have had a hard time in my life with writing. As a child and a teen, all I knew how to do was structured writing for school. It was boring when it wasn't stupidly stressful if I messed up, which I often did. I hated it. Then I discovered that I could say screw you to that type of writing and write fiction like the stuff I read to escape. I wanted to do it so badly, yet I struggled with it going months, sometimes even years without writing anything.

I've had a few things removed from BC. Nothing bad has happened.

I decided I wanted to change the format of how I posted my stories. This entailed the removal of almost half my work so far. It's all going to be put back on, but not until I'm happy with the format.

Other than that, I'm doing okay.

Last night a few of us had our first gaming session in the #dungeon room in the IRC chat.

I think it was a success. I enjoyed last nights session. This is my first time being a GM with Pathfinder and I like to think I pulled it off with teaching two new players about how to game in this system, and letting the two experienced players have some fun playing.

This game is being run on Thursdays from 7pm to at least 10pm EST. We actually went to just past 11pm.

The Adventure party is full barring no one drops out. Everyone is welcome to come watch.

So, I've just posted the first chapter of Bellona which is a Hyperverse story. Since Bellona occurs chronologically before the rest of the stories, I'm focusing on it first before all my other writing. At least that's what I've decided now. This all may change.

On a side note, my deviated septum surgery has been a success and things are better. I had a medication change up which seems to be working better than what I was on before for some of my issues.

Good things it seems... for now...

*knocks on wood....

Be awesome everyone.

Breathing is great. I can breath through my nose now that I've had my deviated septum fixed.

Being able to breath is wonderful.

Since the stents were removed last Thursday, each night I've gotten a full 8 hours or more sleep.

Sleep is wonderful.

I've already made progress on my writing. A few chapters have made it into rough draft. No more defaulting to sleep when I try to write.

So excited now.

It's 3 am and I'm at my friends house spending the night. My friends mother will take me in just under 4 hours to the hospital where I'm going to have surgery on my deviated septum. Normally this is outpatient, but I get to spend the night.

Why am I up this early and not sleeping?

Partly due to the anxiety I always get with these things, and partly because I couldn't breath and woke up some congestion an hour ago.

I saw a chiropractor today.

Watch this youtube video first.

Youtube - Good News Everyone

Now that you've done that, here is the good news.

I just got back from vacation last night. I retrieved all of my held mail. Over $1000 in bills were waiting for me. Some of these are for things I paid off months ago or they're on closed accounts. Now I have to backtrack and see if these were just the last bill that was sent out before I paid it off, or if they're new and whether they should or shouldn't be. I'm so sick of this.

This year has been the worst year for me as far as finances are concerned. I keep on thinking I'm staying on top of things and keep on getting slapped in the face.

This morning, one of my mothers dogs and my brothers dog woke me up with incessant barking. I proceeded to lock myself out of my mothers house while she had yet to wake up. I spent a half hour in the backyard, in shorts and a tank top, keeping the dogs quiet until I could get back inside. I then fell back asleep for another four hours where I had a wonderful dream.

It was a dream where my heart ached and my mind yearned to go back.

I then proceeded to spend the rest of the day till now outlining a story completely based on this dream.

My question to BC is where do you get the kernels for your stories?

I'm visiting my parents for my vacation, because I always visit my parents for vacation. I thought I'd go on vacation and rest and relax, and it's been anything but.