Laika

The First Step

This is a semi-unauthorized sequel to Dorothy Colleen's CLOTHES MAKE THE ?
Her story can be found HERE: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/60003/clothes-make .
It's short little gem of a story that offers a whole new perspective on this “forced-fem” business,
and this story will make a bit more sense if you read hers first.

Taking the protagonist to a Forced-Fem Anonymous meeting probably wasn't what Dorothy had in mind when she wrote the last line of her story, but this is what popped into my head. I'm hoping one day she'll write the real sequel to Clothes make the ?, if her muse is so inclined.

THE FIRST STEP
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

The Flying Babalooskis- Part 3

O.Z. and Jade wake up to find everything in their apartment wrecked, and they're not feeling too great either. When they somehow get saddled with the task of babysitting an evil child our two "retired circus aerialists" are outed as the runaway children they in fact are. So they abandon their new home and hastily depart for Florida. At the airport things rapidly begin to go south, and there's a whole lot of yelling and running around and mistaken identities and cops and FBI agents and more yelling and running around as our story rushes toward its insane conclusion.

THE FLYING BABALOOSKIS
by LAIKA PUPKINO

PART 3 ~ FLYING FINISH

The Flying Babalooskis- Part 2

O.Z. and Jade were runaways who had disguised themselves as elderly "retired circus performers" in order to avoid being busted as kids and sent home. It was a ridiculous plan but it actually seemed to be working- they'd even managed to rent an apartment. Then they met the neighbors and things turned seriously weird.

THE FLYING BABALOOSKIS
~~ A Fantasy of Revelry Run Riot ~~
by LAIKA PUPKINO
PART TWO: HAPPY MIDNIGHT

The Flying Babalooskis - Part 1

Thanx & mega-huggles to Andrea DiMaggio for finding this, my "lost" novella...

Two kids find a satchel of money and decide to run away from home, which leads to a series of adventures, each more frantic and impossible than the last. While this isn't transgender fiction, with the disguises they adopt to avoid being busted as runaways it's tran-something, a strange odyssey that takes them a long way from the lives they knew, as they somehow manage to pass themselves off as a pair of tiny elderly adults, a married couple who had once been famous all across Europe under the name...

THE FLYING BABALOOSKIS
~~ A Fantasy of Sudden Wealth ~~
by LAIKA PUPKINO

PART ONE: TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN

Transgender Cinema: The Fuller Breast Man

Erin's FULLER BREAST MAN Story Challenge

Transgender Cinema: THE FULLER BREAST MAN
In which the titular character makes a clean breast of things...
Film review by Laika Pupkino

THE FULLER BREAST MAN is an odd movie for several reasons, but perhaps the oddest things about this old black + white comedy is that it was released at all, especially in 1957 when it was fairly taboo to even saying the word "breast" in films. It stars Bob Hope (and then Eve Arden) as Chester Buxley, a door to door salesman with a suitcase full of products from the Fuller Breast Corporation, which as the name implies sells a bustline enhancement product. But unlike that junk you see advertised in the back pages of magazines their stuff actually works- a formula with magical properties that makes bosom of whoever drinks it swell almost instantly.

Malala Day

"They thought the bullet would silence us, but they failed. Out of that silence came thousands of voices. The terrorists thought they would change my aim and stop my ambitions. But nothing changed in my life except this. Weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born.” ~Malala Yousafzai

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The Kiss Off

----------=BigCloset Retro Classic!=----------
Complete

THE KISS OFF
by Laika Pupkino
.
Melanie Ezell's Big Closet Ultimate Writer's Challenge (Week #7: Burning Bridges)

.

"Blood is thicker than water except when it isn't."
~Chuck Palahnuik

South Pole Sodomites

Gay penguins to undergo reparative therapy (good thing they weren't at the Tehran Zoo!):
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/gay-penguins-separated-...

Buddy and Pedro, a married pair of male African penguins at the Toronto zoo are being seperated
and paired with female penguins. Apparently this wasn't done for religious or moralistic reasons but
because the population of this species is in perilous decline. Let's hope they can rise to the occasion.

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Jenny Lee & the Stranger ~ Part 3

JENNY LEE & THE STRANGER
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

PART 3 ~ THE GIRLYMAN WHO FELL TO EARTH
.

Peace Assessor Epsilon Tau stood with his back against a big rock, trembling. He needed to calm down. Taking a slow deep breath, he asked for the blessing of the Atom Heart Mother and reached out with his senses, connecting. He could feel the solidness of the house-size boulder behind him. The shape of it where it extended below the ground. The soil around it, a tumult of microscopic life and death and new birth .......... Beneath that he could feel the planet's brittle crust---mere kilometers thick---and then the horribly liquid mantle and core beneath...

This exercise would have quickly soothed his soul back at home, but here it just made him aware of how horribly alien this planet was. Green trees. A yellow sun in a blue sky…

Jenny Lee & the Stranger ~ Part 2

All at once the whole atmosphere in the restaurant changed, becoming dead silent and extremely tense. Every eye was focused on the tall figure who stood waiting to be seated. After being pointedly ignored for a full three minutes he asked, "Excuse me?"

Forced to acknowledge him, Edna fixed him with a cold level stare. "I don't think this is the restaurant for you. It might be in your best interest if you just got on down the road."

"But I have currency. Many dollars. Or if it is preferred, Element 79-”

“You see that sign there? 'THE MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE'. Now beat it!"

The stranger's expression grew more and more horrified as his highly attuned senses repeatedly bumped up against an impenetrable wall of ill will. He didn't even get as far as reading Jenny Lee’s energies before he had to turn and flee from the diner in tears...

JENNY LEE AND THE STRANGER
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

PART 2 ~ THE REGAL DINER

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Jenny Lee & the Stranger ~ Part 1

This is the story of Jenny Lee Martin, who had once been a boy named Tim, and how on a spring morning in 1950 she saved the Earth from destruction. It’s a story about niceness…

JENNY LEE & THE STRANGER
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

Touched By The Prophets

Melanie Ezell's Big Closet Ultimate Writer's Challenge (Week 10: Heaven's Gift)

After decades of struggle the occupation was over. The invaders from the neighboring star system had packed up and gone home, and all of Bajor was celebrating their hard won freedom. Although to 15 year old Rothko Jor it just seemed as if one type of hegemony had been replaced with another, and that some Bajorans would never be free. But he hadn't taken into account the will of his planet's gods, or the intercession in his life of a mysterious sacred object known as the Orb of Change...

TOUCHED BY THE PROPHETS
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

STAR TREK, DEEP SPACE 9 and PARAMOUNT STUDIOS
are all copyright 2011 by Laika Pupkino...

Q Day


Imagine what it would be like if
anything you wished for instantly came true.
Now just imagine that over six billion other
people were all able to do the same.
That's what happened that crazy
morning, on what they're
now calling...


Q DAY
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

The Silence of the Night

There were worse things that could happen to you on Christmas Eve than to be sitting locked in a tiny closet. And when the sicko who had abducted him got back from his trip to the liquor store little Mikey Ellsworth was going to find out what those things were. Alone in the dark he prayed that he might be rescued somehow, calling out to God, to Jesus, his guardian angel, to anyone out there who might hear and help him. Knowing that only a miracle could save him now...
.

The Silence of the Night
by Laika Pupkino
.

TRIGGER WARNING: ALTHOUGH THIS NIGHTMARE TALE EVENTUALLY PROVES TO HAVE A POINT TO IT BEYOND SOME DUBIOUS NOTION OF ENTERTAINMENT, AND ALTHOUGH PHYSICAL RAPE IS NEVER PORTRAYED IN ANY DETAIL; THE LONG SEQUENCE IN WHICH MIKEY/MICHELLE IS LURED INTO A PERVERT’S CAR AND IS ABDUCTED, THREATENED, MOCKED AND TERRORIZED MIGHT HIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME FOR SOME READERS. IF YOU'RE CONCERNED OVER HOW YOU'D REACT TO READING ABOUT SUCH THINGS IT'S PROBABLY BEST TO SKIP THIS ONE.

Play Nice ~ Part 11

Leaving the hospital Grandma Rosa asked, “Say, since they’re running tests on Josepho again tomorrow, I was thinking you and me and your brother could all go to the Italian Festival in Trenton...”

“That’s tomorrow? Sure! I haven’t been there in years, I’d love to go. But I don’t know if Joey will want to. He’s been acting kind of strange lately.”

“Strange?”

“Well yesterday he did the dishes, cleaned all the sinks and counters, mopped the floor-”

“SWEET JESUS, NO!” she gasped, “That is not good! Just say the word and we’ll do it.”

“Do what?”

“Switch you back, of course. If his sudden interest in scrubbing things means what we think it does it’s time to put an end to this little body-swap adventure.”

“Really?! That’s fantastic!”

But why in the next second did the prospect of going back to who I had been suddenly not seem so fantastic?

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART ELEVEN: EXIT STRATEGIES

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SRU: Kobayashi Maru

SRU: KOBAYASHI MARU
by LAIKA PUPKINO
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James T. Kirk, a promising young Starfleet cadet, wanders into a shop called SPELLS R US with unexpected-

Well no, not exactly unexpected. For anyone familiar with the SRU story universe the results are just about what you'd expect.

The Hung Woman of Oz

The Hung Woman of Oz
by Laika Pupkino

The four traveling companions introduced themselves to the giantess, Dorothy and then the others all shaking her large hand. The woman smiled shyly, "I'm Joan Jones."

"That's a peculiar sort of name," said The Tin Woodsman.

Sheepishly, Joan removed the noose from around her neck and said, "To some around here I'm known as The Hung Woman."

Despite her gentle demeanor the Cowardly Lion felt intimidated by the sheer size of her. He stammered, "But whuh-why do they call you a hung woman if you h-haven't hung yourself yet?"

"And shouldn't that be 'hanged woman'?" asked the Scarecrow, scratching his head.

Big Joan sighed and lifted the front of her skirt for them.

"Arf!" said Toto.

clockworks

This is a non-transgender science fiction/horror story.
In the future it describes people like you don't exist...

clockworks
by laika pupkino

In the bold new world of tomorrow everybody is normal. But Timothy Roberts has a terrible secret. Despite being a product of the same genetic engineering and trait control implants as everyone else, and despite the government's insistance that things like homosexuality & gender identity conflicts no longer exist, he has known since adolescence that he's gay. He lives a life of deeply closeted desperation, haunted by the fear that he's the last homosexual on Earth. And just when he thinks his life can't get any worse...

Bobby's Girl

Since tenth grade Jane had dreamed an impossible dream. Bobby Dukakis was the hearthrob of her high school, and though she loved him madly she knew there wasn't a chance in hell that he would ever be interested in anyone as plain & uninteresting as her. But now on Halloween night of her senior year, in the light of a full moon and with the help of a strange book she'd found at a garage sale, she would recite the spell that would turn her from a dumpy little nobody into...

BOBBY'S GIRL
Laika Pupkino ~ 2009

Play Nice ~ Part 10

I sat on the park bench crying my eyes out, stunned by the unreal encounter I'd had with my hospitalized father. In just one day he had gotten so much worse...

A dozen or so ducks had wandered up from the pond to come check me out. Quacking, shaking their little tails, unafraid, so darn cute. Now the ducks were making me cry.

"Sorry babies, I got nothin' for you!" I sniffed as I rummaged through my purse, hoping that somehow a bag of Duck Chow I hadn't realized I was carrying might appear in there.

Suddenly a flock of Canada geese---thinking my little friends were on to a handout---ran in and chased them all away.

"Oh," I gasped, "OH!"

And now the geese were in front of me instead, acting like I was supposed to recognize them as the more rightful recipients of whatever treats I had. I knew their type. Thugs. Schoolyard bullies. The alpha male reared his head, scornfully staring me down...

"Oh yeah?" I jeered, "I wouldn't give you nothin' even if I had it, you stupid goose. Damn right I'm talkin' to you! We're the only ones here, who else would I be talking to? Think your so bad don'tcha? Beating up on a these poor little ducks. Why don't you try picking on somebody your own size. Come on tough guy, right now! You and me!"

When from out of nowhere came a woman's voice: "Joy?"

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART TEN: MOTHERSHIP DOWN

Play Nice ~ Part 9

My gravely ill father had put his foot down (Part 7), telling my grandma that if she and Uncle Grisha insisted on bringing his degenerate daughter along then he didn't need them visiting him either. Grandma had called his bluff, letting him sit out Wednesday (Part 8) without a single visitor, and I spent that whole day happily playing with- I mean by myself at home. Doing a couple of cleaning projects I'd been meaning to get to, then watching the Mets game (9-2, we slaughtered 'em!), and then an old Meg Ryan romantic comedy with a pretty heartwarming ending. A peaceful, productive day ....... But all good things must come to an end, and come Thursday it was time to venture back into that hospital room again.

Where to my utter astonishment Papa was pleasant to me from the moment I arrived. Talking to me and everything! Wow, Grandma's little boycott must've really done the trick! But all was not as it seemed...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART NINE: BAD BRAINS

Play Nice ~ Part 8

Old Mrs. Pirelli was yelling at me from her backyard, "Joy! Come down from there! Yer gonna break ya neck!"

"Only if I fall. How you doing Mrs. P.?"

"What?!" she hollared, squinting into the harsh sun, "What're ya doin' up on the roof?"

"Cleaning out the rain gutters."

"That's a man's job! Let yer bruthah do that!" she cried.

This was the woman whose Nativity scene had been blown up by my sister and her idiot headbanger friends. She hadn't spoken to Joy since. Now not only was she speaking to me, she seemed inordinantly concerned for my safety. She warbled hysterically, "No Joy, leave that for Teddy to do! You've gonna get hurt!"

"Hey, I can do any job he can! Haven't you heard?" Maybe the sun had gotten to my brain, or maybe I was just irritated at this old busy-body telling me what a girl could and couldn't do, but suddenly I was performing a jerky go-go dance and singing loudly, "The sisterrrrs are doin' it for themselves! Standin' on our own two feet, and ringin' our own bells!"

"For God's sake, STOP THAT!" she shrieked, alarmed at my dancing so close to the roof's edge. That crazy Joy Farranino was being crazy again...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART EIGHT: BALLET MECHANIQUE

Play Nice ~ Part 7

I'm getting pretty good at this, I thought as I applied mascara from the new tube I had bought with a deft, unflinching hand. The lip liner I'd put on before my lipstick made my lips appear a critical millimeter or so plumper at the places where they seemed to need it ....... In a way this wasn't unlike those portraits I had painted for my whole family for Christmas a few years back. Each had its own unique set of criteria, which it would reveal to you as you worked on it; and sometimes you needed to fudge the truth a bit. Like softening the features (just enough, it still had to look like her...) on that one I did for my Aunt Livia, who was a dead ringer for Anthony Quinn...

There was no telling what Papa would think of my efforts this morning. As unforgiveable as Joy's crimes were to him, it was likely that no matter what I wore or did or said he'd continue to see me as having snake's eyes, horns and a tail. This mission of mine to fix his relationship with my sister by pretending to be her had a real Don Quixote feel to it. Everything I'd seen so far told me it was doomed to fail. But nonetheless I'd polished up my armor + was sallying forth once again...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART SEVEN: WINDMILLS 4, DON QUIXOTE 0

Play Nice ~ Part 6

I knew that living back at home for a few weeks would be kind of strange, but shortly after my arrival it got stranger than I'd ever thought possible. As it turned out my grandmother was a genuine witch who---tired of our constant bickering---put a transcorporation spell on my sister Joy and me, body-swapping us...

On Saturday my gravely ill father cursed me as a godless murderess and banished me from his life forever. Then Joy (who we were now calling Joey...) thought it would be funny to try and sabotage my relationship with my life partner Ricky, which led to the frantic punch-out between us that cause the death of Grandma Rosa's sinister antique cookie jar & drove her to go stay elsewhere.

By Sunday morning the situation had completely fallen apart, and we still had 26 days to go until we'd be returned to our own bodies. Would my brother and I murder each other before then? Or would we somehow learn to...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART SIX: DAMAGE CONTROL

I Love Lucidity ~ Part 2

As they made their way toward the food court's exit Tina pointed to an empty table and suggested they stick around and watch the floor show...

"It is pretty wild," agreed Kendra as she took in the spectacle of all the other patrons who had undergone transformations. A giraffe boy and an elephant girl seemed very much in love as they shared an ice cream sundae, oblivious to the hard stares of the normals. A party of piratine changelings were banging their heavy hooks on their table + singing pornographic sea chanties, and a bevy of TGD-girls had pushed a bunch of tables together to form a catwalk for a spontaneous fashion show, while overhead the nebulous form of an omnipotal fancier floated around creating miniature solar systems...

Tina shook her head, "That's not the floor show. I meant the one starring your two buddies over there."

"They're not my buddies," frowned Kendra, still recoiling from all the vicious things her former best friends had said to her, "Not anymore..."

"You'll enjoy this then. I guarantee they won't be calling anyone a freak after today!"

"What do you mean?" asked Kendra. The wicked vulpine grin on Tina's face was making her nervous.

"Just keep watching. You'll see..."

I LOVE LUCIDITY
by Laika Pupkino
PART TWO: IN DREAMS BEGIN RESPONSIBILITIES

I Love Lucidity ~ Part 1

Kenny told that psychiatrist that he would never ever mess with that weird drug again---which was more or less what you had to say when you were in a locked ward and your parents had come down to get you and it was two in the morning and they were furious---but he was pretty sure he needed to give this TGD stuff another try. Because while he was on it he’d been a woman; his body, and what he was wearing, and it was all so REAL!!!! So that part at least had been utterly amazing, he just wouldn’t take so damn much. Because maybe next time he’d become some totally hot babe instead of that obnoxious airhead Lucy, with her creepy bongo-banging bandleader husband Ricky and weird old Fred & Ethel Murtz from next door; the whole adventure so dumb and goofy until it turned so savage and ugly- sneaking around the jungle hiding from what seemed like the whole Communist army, and then old Fred getting stood up against the wall + shot as the plot to kill that dictator dude started to rapidly unravel...

I LOVE LUCIDITY
by Laika Pupkino

PART ONE (OF 3): I NEED A NEW DRUG

0ur Lady of Sorrows

Somewhere in Heaven (probably downtown, where all the freeways come together in a great gleaming golden bow of an interchange...) is an office building the size of Mount Everest, in which angels with massive ledger books and quill pens keep the balance of our sins. When we do or think something bad it is noted in our account summary, and when we go to confession the priest gives us the bill for whatever we declare, and as we do penance our balance is brought back to zero. The Church is nothing if not well-organized.

I knew that the key to ever being able to behold this magnificent skyscraper or any of the other marvels, monuments, rides & attractions that Heaven has to offer was in making sure you didn’t die when you were in the red. But certain thoughts and deeds of mine seemed too strange & terrible to ever admit to, so I confessed to invented sins that I hoped would be bad enough to stand in for those shameful wanting-to-be-a-girl ones. It was a pretty nifty system I had worked out. Until that Sunday when I was twelve, when my whole clever scheme came crashing down around me!

OUR LADY OF SORROWS
== A JACKIE KAISER STORY ==
(Six months before the events of The Abattoir)
by Laika Pupkino

Laika Goes To Hell Part 1

DOGGIE’S INFERNO
a bit of doggeral by LAIKA PUPKINO
.

Canto One: LOST IN THE WOODS
.

My name is Laika and this is my canto
And you might think it’s some strange mad-dog rant though
If you’ll spare some indulgence and hear this tale out
You’ll see just as plain as the nose on your snout
That every last word of my grim account’s true,
And be glad this all happened to me and not you…

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The Abattoir

It was about a week before my 13th birthday. Having come home from work unexpectedly, the Ogre---who was what passed for a masculine role model in my life---had decided to take one final stab at "making a man out of me" before writing me off forever as a hopeless little bitch...

"What the hell you cryin' for? You're a boy, nothing's gonna change that! What's that you're coverin' with your hand, huh? You think putting on a damn dress changes anything? Do you? Answer me, goddamn it!"

I stood there shivering, feeling horribly vulnerable. By now I didn't know what I was or what could change what. I was sobbing, trying to nod my head yes and shake it no at the same time.

"For God's sake Sam, that's enough! Let him get dressed."

"No, I want him to say it first! What are you?"

"I'm a boy," I blubbered.

"That's a start. Now put some damn trousers on and come with me."

In a drizzle of slushy snow I was marched across the yard to the shed, where I was forced to take part in a grotesque and humiliating ritual of destruction. This was the heart of darkness...

The Abattoir
(a Jackie Kaiser story)
by Laika Pupkino

Humor Me ~ Part 5

An hour ago Punkin' Judy had been a bozo in love. Gloriously so, and suddenly with hopes for a life quite different than the ill-fitting male one that she had previously resigned herself to. But her harlequin romance had come to a sudden halt after an alarming change in Miss Tricia revealed her to be one very unstable clown, forcing P.J. to abandon both their professional and romantic relationships. We find her sitting out the final hour of their first & last clowning gig together, unable to decide which hurts more- her battered body or her broken heart...

======== HUMOR ME
======== by LAIKA PUPKINO
======== Part Five: NOBODY'S FOOL

"Didn't they always used to say that a man ain't supposed to cry?
But I defy you to look me in the eye and tell me you're a friend of mine..."
. . . . . . . . ~Warren Zevon

God Hates The Warners

Notorious hatemonger Fred "God Hates Fags" Phelps gets a visit from those loveable Warner siblings Yakko, Wakko & Dot, who adopt him as their "new special friend". What can I say? Some people just really need to have an anvil dropped on their head.

GOD . HATES . THE . WARNERS
AN ANIMANIACS ADVENTURE
by Laika Pupkino

Geraldine: an animated t.g. tale

GERALDINE: AN ANIMATED T.G. TALE

Maybe you've seen this, but if you haven't---and you can run Youtube on your 'puter---here's a fun story
very much like one you would read here at BCTS, in the form of a colorful fast-paced cartoon.
It's from France, but there are no intelligible words to it. The intro has been translated as:

"One morning Gerald woke up to find himself transformed into a woman..."

Anyway, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vErJFmUF7DM
~~~hugs, Laika

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The Secret Existence of Misty Walters

To all outward appearances Walter Stymis is a conventional upper-middle class American male. Fairly successful, a devoted husband and father.

But at any given moment he is likely to be lost in colorful daydreams, the nature of which would probably surprise the people around him...

The Secret Existence of
Misty Walters
by . Laika Pupkino

Play Nice ~ Part 5

My sister and I had been living in each other's bodies for about 19 hours. Our grandmother had done this to us, hoping we might learn to empathize with each other and put an end to our lifelong feuding. The body swap had been a strange experience, and downright horrible at times, but in my case at least it seemed as if the old witch's lesson was starting to work. I began to see why my sister was the way he was, and to regret our not being closer. Until for no apparent reason he tried to sabotage the best thing in my life...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2008
PART FIVE: OPENING SALVOS

Veronica and Veronica

Veronica Nelson, a transsexual, was in her third month of her Real Life Test. She was struggling financially, cut off from her family, and someone was leaving disgusting surprises in her jeep. She hadn't expected transitioning to be free of difficulties, but this was the absolute pits. The weird hassles kept mounting until she felt like she was ready to snap!

Then one night she had a chance encounter that would help put all her troubles in perspective...

VERONICA AND VERONICA
by Laika Pupkino

Play Nice ~ Part 4

I hadn't been home in years when I got the call from Grandma, that my father was in the hospital, and now suddenly here I was ....... Like a lot of families, ours had its share of secrets. My sexuality for example, which was known but never discussed, under a shadow of omerta. Or the fact that my grandmother was an actual witch. My sister Joy + I only found THIS out when Grandma body swapped us, in hopes that leaving us like this a while might teach us something. So when we visited my father's bedside he assumed that I was Joy, and I couldn't believe how awful he was being to me! But I had no idea what awful was until I was left alone with him, and learned another of our family's secrets...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2008
PART FOUR: PAPA DON'T PREACH

Play Nice ~ Part 3

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2008
PART THREE: VISITING HOURS

My father was in the hospital with- well they weren't sure what he had. Grandma, Joy and I all hopped in my truck to go visit him. Under ordinary circumstances I would be driving, but our circumstances were far from ordinary. I had been magically "transcorporated" into the 5'4" body of my sister, a less than upstanding citizen whose driver's license had been revoked. Joy now towered over me in my body; and while he was in physical possession of my license, this truck would have to be fitted with snow tires before he could drive it. On that cold day in Hell...

Humor Me ~ Part 4

In which our Technicolor Angel's gruesomy dark side emerges, and she tolchoks me soundly from gulliver to yarbockles, leaving your humble narrator one bruised and weepy and disillusioned young devotchka, who sadly concludes that she must leave the employ of this certifiable bozova, who has suddenly turned all brutal-like...

===== HUMOR ME
===== by LAIKA PUPKINO
===== Part Four: THE OLD ULTRA-SLAPSTICK

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~Mr. Bill

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